Autism + ADHD combined female presentation- What's your lived experience?

Wow, just wow. Again I  late to the party on this thread, and life, but have any of you seen / heard of the TV series Orphan Black - its a Canadian Sci-Fi/Thriller kind of show.

I ask because as I was reading through dome of you descriptions, I had an image from that show of suddenly having many sisters I was unaware of... (something like that happens later in the show). Hope that doesn't sound creepy, it was a nice thought like, gosh that's so similar, which does not happen a lot. 

Can I ask if any folks get that feeling of contradicting yourself, like I find Uncertainty really hard when it comes to pinning down plans with friends, but then find myself flaking out on plans with friends - however on reflection that might just be more recently while I've been trying to to recover from Burn out. (side note - super interested to learn how folks here may have experienced burn out, managed fatigue with that.

Also, short term memory issues, is that a processing issue, an attention issue, or would that be something to ask a health professional about checking for any issues with my hedad. *Head.

Habit is to apologise for the length, sporadic thoughts of this post (but, old habits die hard? 'for a couple of minutes and then')

Crys

You are literally me

You sound ace.  Good to make your acquaintance shortstuff.  I'll see you out there.

Kind regards

Number.

I'm AUADHD (in the process of getting meds) and was assigned female at birth. I am also probably gifted and academically smart. My age is 27 and I have one Bachelors degree in Animation. My strengths are innovative thinking; problem solving; creativity; empathy and passion to stand up for causes I believe in (minority groups, animal rights, LGBT and so on...). I also have velvety skin, popping joints and different coloured eyes. My challenges nearly evenly match my strengths: emotional dysregulation; being unable to ask for help; speech problems and sensory overload. I am a self-starter and I help myself by keeping my friendship circle small: this helps reduce the social overwhelm of having to make too many plans. Most of these friends are various people I've met at festivals or in college/uni. I met my BFF at the Prince's Trust (I highly recommend this for people like us). I also don't let myself stay inside the house too long otherwise the depression gets worse.

The comorbidities of ASD are hundreds of percentage higher than there prevalence in the general population..

Yes - I would not consider meds if they required consistent or long term use.....but because they don't (and I can REALLY suffer sometimes with some form of "block" in my executive functioning) then I am VERY keen to try some meds.......it is the only reason for me to get a diagnosis.

Hi! Apologies I did write out a reply and then realised I got distracted (adhd!). So yes I had an ASD assessment first but wished it was the other way round for clarity for myself as I was told my adhd traits masked my ASD. I don’t really want to take meds longterm but I feel like it would be an interesting experiment to work out which parts of me are adhd and which are ASD! 

That makes me feel less alone, thanks! 

Hello again Elise.  I just posted a response but it was detected as "spam" and deleted so I am now in an appeal  process (it's all very boring).......so I won't retype again now.....just wanted to say hi again.  We have definite similarities.....but some notable deviances too.  One question I had asked....assuming that you do get a ADHD diagnosis, would you be considering trialling medication to alleviate some of the "down" periods?....if you will forgive me asking that personal question.

Kind regards

Number.

Hello again Elise - nice to see you pop-up again.....and I can see more notable similarities between us now, although some differences too.  The main resonances are;

Elise said:

it feels like a superpower one minute and head torture the next

Elise said:

I can get a week’s worth of work done in two days (if it interests me) -  I can be hyper focused and have brilliant ideas for things. On a bad day I suffer burnout and struggle with executive function.

Elise said:

I am incredibly self-aware, constantly analysing mine and others’ behaviours

Elise said:

and yet I’m constantly sabotaging - forever losing track of time and in a brain fog, then frustrated that I’ve not kept to times.

May I ask.......assuming that your ADHD is confirmed, are you considering any medication for that?... I am.

Hope to hear from you again soon.

Number.

are you me? i could have written every word of this

Ps I’ve also found this podcast helpful open.spotify.com/.../42UYC0omfWNQeFt6nuVDqv

I’m combined but only recently diagnosed ASD in my 40s and waiting for ADHD assessment (psychiatrist was confident I have both).

For me it feels like a superpower one minute and head torture the next. On a good day I can get a week’s worth of work done in two days (if it interests me) -  I can be hyper focused and have brilliant ideas for things. On a bad day I suffer burnout and struggle with executive function. I also crave order and predictability and yet I’m constantly sabotaging - forever losing track of time and in a brain fog, then frustrated that I’ve not kept to times. Ironically people rely on me because I write so many lists and double check everything conscientiously as though this comes naturally to me as opposed to a coping strategy -  when someone asks me to do something for them I am overwhelmed with anxiety until I can tick it off my list (but I hide this). I also hate having to change my plans or go somewhere new.

I much prefer being on my own but I’ve also learned to laugh at myself and my tendency to be ‘too honest’ (which then makes me cringe for days later!), but I make people laugh. I am incredibly self-aware, constantly analysing mine and others’ behaviours – I read a lot on psychology and behavioural science as though I can hack neurotypical brains, lol. I‘m a good actress and can perform well but have significant burnout after.

I’ve been a total people pleaser which is why a lot of problems have gone unnoticed - I find it hard to express when I’m struggling or in pain. I also doubt myself that I need things others don’t -  even if this results in a meltdown. I’ve struggled with the stereotype of being female and having people assume I’m maternal or into beauty stuff or fashion. For this reason I get very angry about gender because I feel I’ve always gravitated to stereotypically male behaviour but I’ve had to hide this to fit in.
Things that have and are helping me are:

working for myself so I can manage my environment and the type of people I work with.

listening to podcasts when I have to do boring tasks like cleaning which helps distract me. I also plan in rewards for doing a boring task for 20 mins. 

listening to electronic music on repeat when I’m anxious as the repetitive beat seems to soothe me. Also i have scents that calm me.

Loop earplugs help with my sound sensitivity - the engage ones are helpful for needing to hear people speaking.

I’ve started to say no a lot more and implement boundaries -  also avoid people who regularly change plans or don’t give clear expectations (though this is not easy!).

I write and draw and this helps my constant stream of thought and calms me. Sometimes reading things back helps to unlock something. 

I was only diagnosed as AuDHD this year and was shocked by the Autistic part of the diagnosis.  My strengths are great attention to detail including financial matters.  However I don’t cope well with crowds, people who lie or shift blame, holidaying away from home and people who say ‘You must only be a little bit Autistic’.

I'm not diagnosed, but I think I have both. Also I have a 10 year old daughter who is about to be assessed. I think her ADHD is quite severe and her ASD similar to mine (and my mum's), although who knows where one ends and the other one begins! I am also in my late forties and the thought had not occurred to me until I had a child. I always felt different and somehow defective because I hate socialising, but at the same time I have many non-autistic traits and have no issue with reading body language etc, which appears to be quite a common thing people say on this site. I can be quite disorganised and easily lose track of time. My mind wanders all the time and I am prone to ruminating thoughts, which keep going round and round in my head and frequently keep me awake at night. To cope with this during the day, I'm always listening to podcasts/radio so that I can get through work / chores without having to have disturbing or negative thoughts about some interaction or another, or worry about something to do with my daughter or my elderly parents or the world at large...

I meet some of the (self assessment) criteria for ADHD but have only recently been diagnosed with Autism and am a bit tired from that process (and, you know, general life is tiring too) so don't know if I will bother looking into ADHD!! (as I guess for me the traits of that don't get in the way of my life that much, as opposed to Autism where I find unplanned socialising/unknow events etc hard).

I am lucky to have a very supportive partner who helps keep me organised with things like money (I can do the basic stuff, but future planning and saving and looking at interest rates and stuff like that really makes my brain switch off - annoying as I am actually really good at maths, but as soon as it is translated to money it just sounds so dull and I lose all motivation and ability to listen or remember). Still working on other stuff that helps tbh, just learning what I need to do to make things work for me!