Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm currently being assessed for Autism (I'm female and in my late 40's) and it's been suggested that I may also reach the threshold for ADHD.
My understanding of the combined presentation of autism plus ADHD is limited at this stage.
I would love to hear from females who have this combined type, their strengths, challenges and things that they have discovered to them help manage their difficulties.
Many thanks,
S
I’m combined but only recently diagnosed ASD in my 40s and waiting for ADHD assessment (psychiatrist was confident I have both).
For me it feels like a superpower one minute and head torture the next. On a good day I can get a week’s worth of work done in two days (if it interests me) - I can be hyper focused and have brilliant ideas for things. On a bad day I suffer burnout and struggle with executive function. I also crave order and predictability and yet I’m constantly sabotaging - forever losing track of time and in a brain fog, then frustrated that I’ve not kept to times. Ironically people rely on me because I write so many lists and double check everything conscientiously as though this comes naturally to me as opposed to a coping strategy - when someone asks me to do something for them I am overwhelmed with anxiety until I can tick it off my list (but I hide this). I also hate having to change my plans or go somewhere new.
I much prefer being on my own but I’ve also learned to laugh at myself and my tendency to be ‘too honest’ (which then makes me cringe for days later!), but I make people laugh. I am incredibly self-aware, constantly analysing mine and others’ behaviours – I read a lot on psychology and behavioural science as though I can hack neurotypical brains, lol. I‘m a good actress and can perform well but have significant burnout after.
I’ve been a total people pleaser which is why a lot of problems have gone unnoticed - I find it hard to express when I’m struggling or in pain. I also doubt myself that I need things others don’t - even if this results in a meltdown. I’ve struggled with the stereotype of being female and having people assume I’m maternal or into beauty stuff or fashion. For this reason I get very angry about gender because I feel I’ve always gravitated to stereotypically male behaviour but I’ve had to hide this to fit in.Things that have and are helping me are:
working for myself so I can manage my environment and the type of people I work with.
listening to podcasts when I have to do boring tasks like cleaning which helps distract me. I also plan in rewards for doing a boring task for 20 mins.
listening to electronic music on repeat when I’m anxious as the repetitive beat seems to soothe me. Also i have scents that calm me.
Loop earplugs help with my sound sensitivity - the engage ones are helpful for needing to hear people speaking.
I’ve started to say no a lot more and implement boundaries - also avoid people who regularly change plans or don’t give clear expectations (though this is not easy!).
I write and draw and this helps my constant stream of thought and calms me. Sometimes reading things back helps to unlock something.
Hello again Elise - nice to see you pop-up again.....and I can see more notable similarities between us now, although some differences too. The main resonances are;
Elise said:it feels like a superpower one minute and head torture the next
Elise said:I can get a week’s worth of work done in two days (if it interests me) - I can be hyper focused and have brilliant ideas for things. On a bad day I suffer burnout and struggle with executive function.
Elise said: I am incredibly self-aware, constantly analysing mine and others’ behaviours
Elise said:and yet I’m constantly sabotaging - forever losing track of time and in a brain fog, then frustrated that I’ve not kept to times.
May I ask.......assuming that your ADHD is confirmed, are you considering any medication for that?... I am.
Hope to hear from you again soon.
Number.