Disclosing to a friend…they tell me I'm wrong

You cant jold yourself responsible for another persons naivity. you have been diagnosed by a professional.

im sorry a friend gave this response,.i guess thay elevates the emotions uour are feeling.

take it slowly, neither of you atr going anywhere. Help them to better understand over a longer period of time. but you need to remain gentle with yourself, as Kermit said, 'Its not easy being green', but green we are in the early days post-diagnosis, so self-care is paramount

I had a smilliar experience and felt hurt as well. In a way it was expected becuase I feel as though I  have lied/masked by entire life so I felt like an imposter. But they only know what they have seen and its a shame people feel as though they can tell you what you are and what you aren't.

We know what's going on in our heads and how we feel and I think the longer you have had your diagnosis the more you will come to terms with it and not feel like an imposter.

As hurtful as it is when people don't belive you, it's a reflection of thier own ego. Like your diagnosis is telling them they have missed somthing which they feel should have been obvious. When actually it's not about them missing something or being wrong, it's about you coming to terms with who you are, which is a process. 

A diagnosis is a really great step for you and sounds as though it's lined a few things up in your head, so that's the main thing. 

I am sorry you experienced this from a best friend, this must have been upsetting for you. It’s perfectly ok to be hurt by this experience, your autistic identity deserves to be validated. 

You know your own autistic self best, trust your own instincts.

I know it might be difficult because this person is a best friend but working with autistic children is very different to understanding and recognising internalised autistic adults.  Just because he works with autistic children, doesn’t mean he understands your own autistic experience.

You are the expert on yourself.

‘I think I was naive. He just shut me down and told me I wasn't autistic. Not really. He _knows_ about autism, he works with _real_ autistic kids.’

You were not naive, you were brave and confident enough to tell who you thought was a trusted person who you actually are.  You are also an autistic person just an autistic person who is not like the autistic kids he works with. Of course you would be different because you are an autistic adult. 

I am so sorry this happened to you, but hopefully you find comfort in the fact that we are your autistic community and we will validate you.

This is a video that you might find useful, it is about disclosing your autistic identity:

https://youtu.be/Sq82fb7NROY

I think that I would have said, “so the team of specialists who have spent months diagnosing me are actually wrong, I am so glad for your wisdom.”

My own sister looks after 2 autistic children after school and she is a leading authority on adult presentation as well. Lose this person and chalk this one down to experience. When they don’t hear from you they then may realise that you were actually serious.

NAS80371 said:

imposter syndrome

we get that before we self identify, and get official diagnosis, and digest it for a while

that friend of yours works with autistic KIDS, so he probably never met autistic women,. or he doesn't know he did, because he doesn't know autistic women are masters of disguise and can fool anybody and everyone, if they need it to survive