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Disclosing to a friend…they tell me I'm wrong

NAS80371

Hi,

First, hi! I was diagnosed in Octobe 2021. I've always struggled with many aspects of life, but blamed myself. My son was diagnosed many years ago, and he is so like me, that I figured that explained a lot for me. My relationship with him (he's an adult now) led me to seek a diagnosis. I'm late middle-aged.

My best friend of 25 years…I told him about my diagnosis, I wanted to have someone I could talk to about all the ways I mask, my lived experience of life. I think I was naive. He just shut me down and told me I wasn't autistic. Not really. He _knows_ about autism, he works with _real_ autistic kids.

Again, naively, I feel very hurt by this. But maybe he's right (I have terrible imposter syndrome about my diagnosis, so many years…what is a mask and what is me?)

I guess I'm sharing in case many/any of you have had this experience. Did you persist and work on your friend, was that worthwhile? Did you lose the friend? I don't have many friends. Maybe this guy is the main one. Or was. Seems worth working for, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to dance to prove my own lived experience…

Many thanks if you took the time to read this

Cheers

Parents

  • You cant jold yourself responsible for another persons naivity. you have been diagnosed by a professional.

    im sorry a friend gave this response,.i guess thay elevates the emotions uour are feeling.

    take it slowly, neither of you atr going anywhere. Help them to better understand over a longer period of time. but you need to remain gentle with yourself, as Kermit said, 'Its not easy being green', but green we are in the early days post-diagnosis, so self-care is paramount

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  • You cant jold yourself responsible for another persons naivity. you have been diagnosed by a professional.

    im sorry a friend gave this response,.i guess thay elevates the emotions uour are feeling.

    take it slowly, neither of you atr going anywhere. Help them to better understand over a longer period of time. but you need to remain gentle with yourself, as Kermit said, 'Its not easy being green', but green we are in the early days post-diagnosis, so self-care is paramount

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