Disclosing to a friend…they tell me I'm wrong

Hi,

First, hi! I was diagnosed in Octobe 2021. I've always struggled with many aspects of life, but blamed myself. My son was diagnosed many years ago, and he is so like me, that I figured that explained a lot for me. My relationship with him (he's an adult now) led me to seek a diagnosis. I'm late middle-aged.

My best friend of 25 years…I told him about my diagnosis, I wanted to have someone I could talk to about all the ways I mask, my lived experience of life. I think I was naive. He just shut me down and told me I wasn't autistic. Not really. He _knows_ about autism, he works with _real_ autistic kids.

Again, naively, I feel very hurt by this. But maybe he's right (I have terrible imposter syndrome about my diagnosis, so many years…what is a mask and what is me?)

I guess I'm sharing in case many/any of you have had this experience. Did you persist and work on your friend, was that worthwhile? Did you lose the friend? I don't have many friends. Maybe this guy is the main one. Or was. Seems worth working for, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to dance to prove my own lived experience…

Many thanks if you took the time to read this

Cheers

Parents
  • I think that I would have said, “so the team of specialists who have spent months diagnosing me are actually wrong, I am so glad for your wisdom.”

    My own sister looks after 2 autistic children after school and she is a leading authority on adult presentation as well. Lose this person and chalk this one down to experience. When they don’t hear from you they then may realise that you were actually serious.

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  • I think that I would have said, “so the team of specialists who have spent months diagnosing me are actually wrong, I am so glad for your wisdom.”

    My own sister looks after 2 autistic children after school and she is a leading authority on adult presentation as well. Lose this person and chalk this one down to experience. When they don’t hear from you they then may realise that you were actually serious.

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