Relaxing makes me ill

channelling, I suppose it will work in a  way we can imagine, anything and everything, 

for me it was writing, short stories, and my book, I managed to get to that point just before madness twice during my short unemployment period last year, I managed to write 20 pages over night each time, I had many crazy, clever, nice, useful, whatever idea, some of them I managed to encompass in writing, It felt like sun spots spawning during maximum on sun's surface, if sun was my brain LOL 

not really feasible if I have to go to work next day

I can't say I've experienced any brilliant surges of ingenuity or creativity. I have felt pretty close to madness at times though  Maybe I need to channel all that nervous energy in a different way.

Meeples said:

I start doing small amounts every morning and evening. I keep it very gentle and only progress slowly, and I started to feel the benefit. But then as soon as that happens I end up with extreme muscle pains all over, or a cluster of migraines, or sudden terrible stomach problems.

Together with my poet-friend we came to the conclusion, that being anxious for whatever reason, and being excited about whatever you're trying to do at the moment, fuels creativity in a similar way. You need to be above a certain personal threshold to experience sudden surges of ingenuity. Preferably as close to becoming a madman as possible  It's very hard to get to that point and maintain that state of mind

I don't think I'm ever truly relaxed. I'm always anxious and in a state of hypervigilance. I wake up anxious and I go to bed anxious. It's just always there in the background, ready to be triggered at the slightest noise or demand placed upon me.

I think some people assume that anxiety only arises in response to a certain thing or situation, but that isn't the case at all. It's there all the time and most of the time I haven't a clue what it is that I'm so anxious about. I've been like that all my life, for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it is manageable but I go through times when it is completely debilitating.

It is the physical effects that make it hard to live with. Headaches, migraines, palpitations, digestive issues. My list is similar to yours. However I don't think it is the relaxing that is making you ill. It is the physical manifestation of the stress and anxiety that is still there, even when you are trying to relax.

Like you I've tried everything suggested to me - exercise, meditation, mindfulness, yoga. I too have tried them all along with many medications and natural remedies.

Whenever I try mindfulness or meditation I find I hit some barrier, whereby the internal focus results in me becoming even more anxious. Most mindfulness exercises focus on the breathing, however as soon as I do that I immediately feel that I can't breathe and start to panic. I can't seem to just observe my breathing I have to be in control. Then it's as if I forget to breathe! The 'body scan' exercise I find anxiety inducing too. I am hyper sensitive to my own internal body functions and quickly get sensory overload from my own heartbeat and internal pulses. 

Even my GP has seemingly given up and says there are no other options to help my anxiety.

I agree. I get migraines that are stress triggered. If I have a generally stressful day or something triggers a meltdown it is usually several hours later, or even the next morning, when the main symptoms of the migraine start to present.

I try to meditate once a day. I find I deal with things differently now and am less phased or reactionary to stuff. I also find I have more time. It's hard to explain but I think it's because im more present. It's quite hard to put my finger on but there's definitely an improvement. Yes "practice". The improvements are from accumulated meditation and I had to commit myself. Like exercising a body muscle in the gym, we have to do it regularly with our brains too for good effect.

Also very true. And thank you, it's on my list of things to try and do/get better at in the near future. Just have a few other things to try and sort in my life first.

Practice makes perfect.

Very true. But again, like meditation ...which is why it's called 'practice'... you need to do it every day and slowly you'll begin to observe these moments rather than react.

I'm guessing your current reactions have developed over time, so you've learned to do that through practice ...so goes the way to undo that by adopting new practices

Good luck, it takes work, but is worth it

I find that's easier said than done. It's like letting go of the past and when someone dies I have no idea how to do that.

Same as above comment... let go

That is a state of hypervigilance. We do this to remain in control, but this is an illusion, we are never in control.

Being able to predict the future isn't possible, so working on becoming more able to deal with obstacles as they arise is much more important.

That is also something you have control over

Id argue it almost certainly isn't the relaxing that gives you a migraine. It is the mass of over stimulation, stress & tension prior to that.

Important point is to make less of the stressful scenarios in your life happen and therefore cause less stress.

Make your life one that doesn't cause you stress. Avoiding all stress is very hard. All this takes a long time. But it's the only option for us austists. It's taken me about 7 years to navigate my work life to cause me significantly less stress.

After that, my IBD has remained in remission, my mingraines all but gone.

I have no idea how to relax and find when I try I just get more anxious. I've read tips online but when I try them I feel myself getting more tense.

I find relaxing unnatural, I get anxious when I try, unless I fall asleep

try a massage, it really works to get rid of the tension that you didnt know you had.

although i guess it wears off after a week or so lol
i myself must have always been tense, after a massage i noticed the difference and could truly feel that everyone that said i was too tense and to stop resisting was right, i must have been too tense, massage loosens you and gets rid of that locked tension. i could even ride my motorbike better with more easier cornering than ever before. i think we just hold this tension and dont know any better and require a massage to show us a more relaxed bodily state. then we can perhaps get used to that and learn to drop ourselves in that relaxed less tension state ourselves after a while when our body learns its position and feel.

Relaxing, after ongoing stress, is a guaranteed migraine; for me. I had a sore head, while heading out, all day. But it never became serious.

Paracetamol is a must; for me. It's the only thing which cures the head for me. I also have a supply of ginger mints; never remembering to take them. But they settle my stomach. 

I can empathise with you in this. i relax by going to a private studio/office i rent, closing the door, and making art, alone. i also meditate, alone. Surf, alone.

The only things i can do to relax in the presence of others is listen to music, live or recorded, or my partner gives me a massage. But only her. Ive tried going to a professional, and I cant wait to leave.

Have you tried forest bathing, swimming, sauna? Playing with animals? Cats also relax me.

Basically you need to lose yourself in something you really love. But the motivation needs to be 100% from within you. what do you really really want? What do you love. Then do that, in a calm way, without distractions interrupting you.

Meditation works, on a level i dont really understand tbh. But you have to commit to it for life, making it part of your routine. Try twice a week to start, then up it if you. Trust me. It wont happen overnight, but it will slowly change you psyche over time so you react to triggers differently, but observing them, instead of reacting to them.

Buddhism has taught me a lot about finding the Middle Way in life. Hope you find some peace :)

A reduction in nervous energy can reduce symptoms. Many anxious people try to stay active because they feel better due to using up that nervous energy. However, when we relax, “nervous energy” can build up. Increasing nervous energy can increase symptoms.

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i too am unsure what "relaxed" feels like, so i have to busy my mind constantly in some way, or thoughts start going everywhere and i end up a mess until i point it out to myself and take steps 

ive no physical problems however, so im fortunate that my body doesn't really "rebel"

its linked to anxiety though, the mind not being able to "shut off", so whilst my methods wont help you as they will lead to more of what your dealing with.

if you were unaware its anxiety based like i was until only a few months ago, perhaps you could use that as  start point atleast.