Recent suspected diagnosis and ADHD

I just wanted to say that I hear you; this sounds really tough on you as well as your son.  It could be autism, or it could be something else entirely.  I'm guessing that he does not wish to get help for his aggressive outbursts?

I have no answers buy you both have my sympathy.

yes, it is part of a way to selfidentification - talking to other autistic, easiest amd safest way is online

Thanks Summer,  I have learned to let him talk AT me and I will then respond in a very clear and simple way as I have realised he sees things differently from others.  It is interesting that you think I am autistic too.  Why do you say that?  I feel I have got to this age without many hiccups.  It is a good idea to let him look at the site, although I don't think he will - but I will try..  He believes there is no issue with him, but all others around him can see there is!

If he is struggling badly, and if the conversations you are having with him are leading to him getting stressed. Could social services help him, if he is not coping. Now please do not judge all autistics as being like this. As NT's need social services from time to time too. 

A fulfilled life to an autistic is different from what an NT expects. 

However, from your writing, it is very possible that you are autistic too. 

Maybe, it is best you give him details of this site so he can chat to fellow autistics on here, and then I would say it is best that you do not look on here, to give him the privacy to chat to other autistics. 

I am really grateful for your responses.  I know my son is 'different' and always has been.  I have done a lot of research over time and I am not convincing him he is autistic, just wanting him to get an assessment and if it results in what I think, he needs to understand himself and why he thinks the way he does.  I won't be around forever and I want him to stand a chance of having some kind of a fulfilled life.  I will look up the miscommunications information you refer to and I am sure they will be helpful.

I had found the site and watched the videos.  There is a lot of really useful information I can resonate with.  The links are useful too.  Thank you.

not being able to ft in because people don't tolerate autism is problem that is put on shoulders of every autistic, it can lead to mental helath problems, it will lead to,

but it isn't autism what's causing it, maybe that is a problem, you've helped him become convinced it's him or him being autistic

Both of you should learn more about long term complications caused by miscommunication between autistic and non- autistic, there is channel on youtube made by autistamatic, he makes tutorials for all neurotypes

Hi Mariusz My son has a lot of support from family members and everyone trying to help and support him but it is never enough.  He is always 'opening up' and we have been hearing the same stories over and over again for years.  He is always coming to get money from us and will never accept any guidance on how to run his finances..  His social interactions are always a problem, he can't keep friends and will always find something to blame them for.  It is having such a detrimental effect on my health.  Can autism lead to mental health problems? 

what about lack of support and no willingness to understand from family members

if he has no one to open up because everone just pressures him to fix himself that it's unacceptable, no wonder he is stuck

autism isn't the cause of his problems

it's misunderstandings and miscommunication, and refusal to meet middle ground

autistic yes, but you didn't say anything indicating ADHD

Sara said:

difficulties listening and concentrating

that can happen for many reasons either autism or ADHD related

Hi Piggy, that is really useful.  The main reason I want him to be diagnosed is so that he can understand himself and his triggers and maybe find some coping mechanisms.

Hiya,

A diagnosis is totally his choice and he shouldn't feel pressured into it. does he have any other traits? Sounds like he can't get past the people that have hurt him, feeling hurt and betrayed is awful, has he tried counselling to discuss this.

Also, personally a diagnosis has only helped me to understand myself, i have recieved no support from any professionals so a diagnosis may not be much help

Alisha xx

Hiya,

Definitely sounds like you could be autistic. i am not sure about ADHD as i don't have traits and am not well educated on it however many people on here, have both ADHD and autism so someone will be able to help with the latter

and yes, i have similar issues. i don't have issues forming friendships, i feel like that happens quite easily for me as most neurotypical people are good at it and i have a script for the first few conversations with people so i appear happy and chatty. however it goes downhill from there and we drift apart. i obsess over things and i had never thought about obsessing over people who have upset me as an autistic trait but i certainly do, so that's interesting

Alisha xx

P.S. if you have any questions on the diagnosis process then feel free to private message

Hi Sara, I came onto this site because I have a son that sounds just like you.  He is now 35 and it is tearing our family apart, his obsession with what people have done in the past to stop him from progressing in his life.  The truth is that these are things that just happen in normal life but he obsesses over them and is so repetitive.  He has real aggressive outbursts too.  I am not sure if that is manipulative behavior or part of the autism.  He refuses to get diagnosed.

What is your story, what made you seek a diagnosis?