To undiagnosed adults or those diagnosed in adulthood: How did you realize you might be autistic?

I read a detailed interview with Vice Admiral Nick Hine in a weekend magazine and thought "my God, I have nothing in common with this guy's life ... but the personality he describes is mine!"  I've always considered myself to be 'different', and when I reached a senior position in working life I delegated one-to-one client relationships to others.  I always disliked the interpersonal aspect of what I did for a living.   Reading Nick Hines' story gelled with me so I looked into it, did some online tests, read a few books, and everything I learned confirmed my suspicions.  I had a diagnosis a few weeks later.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and while going through this I learnt more about Autism and ADHD and many of the points struck a cord with me and made me look more into it.  It answered so many questions about my past and current life.  I’m currently starting my referral process after posting on here to ask whether it was worth doing.  Am pleased I’ve decided to go ahead.  

I am 52 and only realized about 2.5 years ago. I had some bad periods in my life but I struggled through them. That was the 1980's and 90's and I was never really given any alternative by my parents but to have a normal life. Having a job, house and being solvent were just part of what I thought I was supposed to do no matter what. It was in 2019 that I started to get much more anxious and depressed about everything and I went online and started to look at my symptons. If the internet existed in the 80's I would have probably been diagnosed then but I was very average at school and not disruptive so was never considered diffrent. 

Although I will get a full diagnosis within 6 months, what ever the outcome I am a changed person. I want out of the rat race, in the next 5 years my wife and I will sell the house and take the money, quit our jobs and go and live in a mobile home far away from London. Then get a mundane job and spend a couple of months a year in Tenerife. 

I knew growing up that I was different did not grasp things like other children.I was tested late in life came back autistic +development disability my dad always said I was slow and have been incontinent for along time.

Through catastrophic breakdowns (= autistic burnouts or catatonia) in a number of close relatives.  It took me ages to join the dots and realise that there was something familial going on and, by the time I did, lots of needless damage had occurred.  Only after several decades of such things did any MH professional utter the word "autism" and I still find it hard to understand how we flew beneath the radar for so long, often getting blamed or marginalised for our differences.  :(

I also have trouble with sarcasm and being in my own world with developmental disability dose not help.

Being unable to understand sarcasm, my intense interests and my general feeling of being 'different'. Oh and my insane sensory issues surrounding clothing

I honestly doubt the sincerity of this position. Would you consider it a presumptious assertion if the lady had a growing lump in her boob or her eyesight was rapidly deteriorating and she wanted to get those tested too? Is it not the same process of evaluating evidence and decision making that starts everyone down the path towards resolution?

I do hope you are a troll too, most amusing when they meet their match :)

I get that a lot....

There honestly weren't many they just said well prescribe you retilin for your ADHD and sleeping tablets cause you have insomnia due to your ADHD and Autism. Besides that nothing

"Wanting" to get tested is quite a presumptuous assertion. They call this a leading question, my lord. I think it must have been in February when I stopped **** my wife. 

[edited by moderator for breaking Rule 11]

Can you tell us details about the good things that happened because of the assessment. Ta.

On some level you always knew you just know.

Hi,

I was just diagnosed on Monday. I will get my actual report on Friday. I'm a 31 year old female.

I didn't realise that autism could be a thing for me because I can live independently. Unfortunately, that was due to lack of exposure on what autism actually is and the range of the spectrum. 

I went to university as a mature student at 28, and I think I had 4 different people ask me when I discovered I was autistic. 3 of those where autistic students and one was a support tutor who had worked with adult females with aspergers before. This made me think that's what made me look into it. A lot of the things I've struggled with matched up, so I asked my GP for a referral for an assessment. At the end of the day, I had nothing to lose if they said no and everything to gain.

Keep in mine, I was also diagnosed with dyslexia while at the university. That rocked my world, so autism did not seem unrealistic. 

I wanted to get tested because autism in females (especially adults) is still quite difficult to understand. A diagnosis would help me and others who are going to be diagnosed. If I was not autistic, they know what not to look for. If I was, they might learn some 'new' autistic features to look into :) I also felt like I had impostor syndrome until the moment they told me I had autism officially.

I hope this helps. 

I knew growing up that something was wrong with me could not reach the same level as the average child.I was tested after my 2nd marriage late 50's and found to have autism +dd which roughly means lower IQ Which explained a lot of my troubles growing up my dad always said was slow.Then soon after became incontinent my wife who has a high IQ helps with everything.

I watched too. I do like seeing more people coming out and talking about this, and clearly it’s opened one persons eyes already.

I've just watched a TV programme where a celebrity was talking about her recent diagnosis and it was like listening to myself!  I've been diagnosed with Anxiety which I've lived with for years and now I'm wondering if it is infact Autism.  

Everybody tells me that  I'm a one of a kind weirdo.

I started reading about it as my toddler was displaying traits. On this forum, a mum was very sad because her child had been diagnosed, and a fellow poster, autistic herself, said there was nothing to be sad about and directed her to one of Dr Luke Beardon’s books (the one about children).

I read it, and because it’s about the internal experience of being autistic in childhood, there it was, my own childhood!

I then joined the autistic community on Instagram and Facebook, and connected with people who were like me, and decidedto get a private diagnosis, which I’ve received as a 40-something old woman.

Awaiting my daughters autism assessment appointment, and I thought, how did we get here? Why didn’t I realise sooner? I’m a bad mum, kept telling her she was fine, she can feel this way or that warm and it’s normal because I was exactly the same…. And I asked myself, so if we’re alike, how come she’s probably Autistic and I’m not? “Thunderbolt moment”. Instantly realised I was as well. (Didn’t go down too well!). Put it out of my mind as it was too much to handle, and had a big burnout almost a year later