Published on 12, July, 2020
I would say one of my biggest faults is jealousy.
I don't know why, but it is. I don't like it. But looking back over my life it has caused me most problems.
I don't know if jealousy is linked to autism or not.
Does any else find this a problem?
I'm very jealous of women who get on well with other women. I would really like some close friends but I have no success making friends....over the years women I've met and have liked have not shown any desire to form a relationship with me and yet they do with many other women. I've listened, I've shown compassion, honesty, humour, generosity, but still they don't want to know. I despair.
Oh yes, me too! Seeing groups of female friends together laughing, joking, sharing secrets. I'd LOVE to have that. My cousin said when she had a baby, she met 'a great group of girls' in the postnatal class and they're forever friends now.
After I had a baby, I was just bullied by my post natal group members and so had to find another group. That group too viewed me with suspicion and I never got this group of female friends I wanted. I don't know what I do wrong.
I'm sorry that's happening to you too. I never made any friends in post natal class either. I had given up /didn't have the confidence to try because of previous failures to make friends (I was an older Mum of 35 when I had my son so I'd had plenty of experience to conclude that I was rubbish at forming friendships). I was just an outsider, an observer of the other women forming bonds. It felt so unfair.
I'm interested to know how you found maternity leave? I had a terrible time. I felt so isolated and in a state of permanent fear and dread. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Don't get me wrong - I adore my son, he is 11 now and I am a completely devoted mother, but that time when I was looking after him as a baby was the bleakest time I've ever known. I wanted to run away.
Thank you. I think I deserve a medal tbh. The perfect wife and mother- I brought my daughter up and didn't hurt or abandon her. I didn't run off with another man, however lonely and frightened I was. I gave absolutely everything to my family. It's only recently I learned to put myself first.
I agree about the nurture. There are so many people on this forum who have difficult relationships with their mothers. Could it have affected us?
I'm so pleased that your daughter is now well. And yes, you should feel really proud that you got through it and raised your daughter well! It sounded like a hellish situation.
There is another similarity in yours and my circumstances. I had a very difficult relationship with my mum too.
I read that ASD isn't entirely genetic, that there is also a nurture aspect to it. I wonder if our relationships with our mothers in our formative years contributed to our ASD? It could go the opposite way too: did our ASD contribute to our relationship problems?