Cried through into church service

If you ever need support or want to talk to someone who might understand, consider checking out https://whenyouneedgod.com. They might have resources or people who can help. Remember, it's okay to take things at your own pace, and there's no need to feel embarrassed about your emotions. 

I'm really sorry to hear that your return to church was such an overwhelming experience. It's totally okay to have strong emotions, and it's brave of you to share your experience here.

Hi Magnolia,

Its lovely to hear a post from a fellow Christian. I totally understand about the mask issue, thankfully my church doesnt insist on them but I can imagine it must be very difficult to go to one that does. 

If you dont mind me asking was there anything else that triggered you? I had some very bad experiences at church with people not being very nice to me and it took me years to be able to go back. even now I get quite nervous

I think we are all figuring out our faith as we go and God understands that so please dont feel bad. Being a Christian is the easiest thing in the world, its people who complicate it and make it so hard for us

If you ever want to talk let me know 

i think u're new so welcome to this forum

all the time

Definitely - that's why I suggested a direct response.

They love and care for you but we Autistic people misinterpret their responses. 
I view this as a caring message to you from above

i left my religion of birth some time ago.

But I still value the work and role of the Churches in the UK. I even value the role of religion to truly religious people.

As long as there is separation between state and religion I have no problem with religion/churches.

I agree with your comparisons made to supermarkets. 

I am from Northern Ireland

I know a lot of people have been complaining of the treatment of religion over the past while. It is fashionable to be anti-religious these days, but the Scottish judge Lord Braid found places of worship had been illegally discriminated against over the lockdowns. I've always joked that they should meet in the large supermarkets - under the current rules they seem to be able to do whatever they want. I understand the panic from being shut out of society for so long. The patronising comments from the authorities don't help. scottishlegal.com/.../outer-house-judge-finds-closure-of-scottish-churches-disproportionate-interference-with-human-rights

That's why I gave you Samuel. Go read and learn, you're responding to the Boss just fine. You don't need anyone to intercede or interfere, just know that something, someone's there. Even a simple Yes? might do.

That's just so very hard. Where do you even begin ?

you're welcome 

You're looking the wrong way. You don't do the flavouring, the Boss does, through you. Stop trying in yourself, let him help. These things don't matter, your love on high does. The opening verses of the Book of Samuel speak to me for you, how the child learned to listen to the call. It's called being in the world, but not of the world.

The church is full of people and people are flawed. 

I am not sure how much flavouring I can do at the moment as my faith is so weak. 

The bits of the sermon I heard through my sobs were about how society has become a society which lives under a collection full of isms: 

Subjectivism - if it feels right it is right

Hedonism - if it feels good or gives me pleasure it is right

Utilitarianism - if it doesn't harm anyone else it is right 

Tribalism - if my group of people think it is right then it is right 

Nonjudgementalism - I am free to do whatever I want or censor my behaviour. Your judgement is greater than what I have done

This makes being a Christian so very difficult. 

Thank you for your kind words. 

I think it was a mixture of lots of different things topped by the mask issue which still bothers me as they are still requesting their use and I don't want to stand out in my lanyard.  So I will stand out by being the one sobbing in the foyer instead!

Watching services on YouTube is far easier then being there in person!

In the mid 80s, the Church of England (Church Army Seminary Principal, to be precise) landed a put-up-or-shut-up test on me which I passed with flying colours, causing the metamorphic development of a seer medium gift, which could be highly dangerous if copied. It led me to very deep meditation on Matthew 6, and the studied conclusion that Organised Religion is highly unhelpful. Not all are called to faith, and their paths are individual. I'm comfortable in my orientation on the "know them by their fruits" basis, mine were recognised when the team won a Nobel Peace Prize, although it's rather boastful, sorry.

But when I consider the mess dogma's got itself into, I look back at the various attempts to keep things straight and realise there's very little actual faith in the Church. We're not supposed to live in a holy huddle once a week, but to flavour society continuously by being who we are unaffectedly where we are. So perhaps you were responding to a call to simplify.

Don't be embarrassed, the people ( congregation )  in the church will understand. The people trying to talk to you are just trying to help thats all.

Was there something which triggered this ?  like a memory from when you were younger perhaps.

I have cried in Churches but usually funerals and memorials

when the service are boardcast on radio 4 -- they bring back to when I was a kid attending Church --- can be very atmospheric with the stain glass windows etc

Please do not let this incident stop you attending church if that is what you want to do.

Fear is a man's best friend! (song by John Cale)

Normally, I look forward to Church services. But I was able to keep up with outreach over the past eighteen-odd months. Hearing stories like these makes my blood boil.