Worried that I might be told I’m not autistic

I think I scored just below 30 the first time I took the test but when I retook it a couple of years later I scored 36, probably because stress made more traits come out and also I became more self aware.

The test result is only an indication, it's not perfectly designed and most of the questions are open to interpretation.

It doesn’t sound stupid to me at all, I also score around 30 on the AQ test and torn about assessment even though I’ve been pondering it for a few months now! I’m not sure my GP would be interested as I have a good job but private assessments are so expensive. I think I’ve also had the mindset for my adult life at least that I’m just a bit weird/different/what is “normal” anyway? It’s hard to get out of that and think actually there might be a reason.

I think a lot of people write out lists of all the reasons they think they’re autistic which they can print off or email to their doctor. I have a phone album absolutely full of relatable memes (mostly ADHD and quite a lot autism), I’m not entirely sure how to put that into list form!

If you don't go for an assessment,  you will be left wondering for the rest of your life. 

Hi Petalsforarmor,
It doesn't sound stupid to me, I can relate to how you feel.  I am in the process of getting an assessment.  I didn't score very highly on tests, probably because sensory issues and stimming aren't a big issue in my case, but I have lots of autistic traits and a history of social mistakes and awkwardness.  

Like you, I'm worried that I will be told I'm not autistic, because I think I would feel that I'm just weird.  But I'm trying not to think like that.  I think Caelus's reply is helpful - I will learn what else I have, if it's not autism.  I am reading a lot about autism and learning how autistic people make adjustments to their lives to make things easier.  If I'm neurotypical and some of these adjustments help me, I guess there's no reason why I can't use them.  I'm meeting other autistic people, online and in person.  I find that I can relate to these people a lot.  If I'm neurotypical they can still be my friends and we still have things in common.  But I do relate to how you feel - I really think I'm autistic and hope that it's this because I just want to understand why I find certain things difficult.

If you write down every issue or problem you have, you might notice a pattern that is more along the lines of autism.    There are lots of tests - you have to ask yourself if are you double-guessing the 'right' answers or how well do you really know yourself - and are you being totally honest with your answers.

How do you deal with sudden change or dealing with the unknown?   Are you able to deal with stress and anxiety?

You could self diagnose unless you need an official diagnosis for work or to get help.

thing is if your not on the spectrum they could direct you to something else you may have instead perhaps... if thats how it works.... my GP told me that they do discuss what other things you may have and try to direct you to the right place if it does come up negative. so they made out that either way you will get the help you seek... but then again reality never does go as smoothly as people say.