Has anyone else on the spectrum spent most of their time on earth presenting as neurotypical? I spent many of my formative years, including all of my adolescence and now adulthood, trying to appear as ordinary as possible. I don't know if I'm 'high-functioning' or simply a good mimic.
This has included:
- keeping my niche interests and tastes to myself unless I know for certain that others will find them agreeable
- keeping physical tics to a bare minimum
- hiding my true feelings/opinions (this could be related to C-PTSD)
- mirroring the personalities or quirks of other people
I'm a deeply unhappy person with no real sense of self, no real friends and nowhere that I belong. That's what you get for trying to please everyone else!
If anyone has had a similar experience, feel free to share them here.
Thanks.