Unmasking experience

Has anyone else on the spectrum spent most of their time on earth presenting as neurotypical? I spent many of my formative years, including all of my adolescence and now adulthood, trying to appear as ordinary as possible. I don't know if I'm 'high-functioning' or simply a good mimic.

This has included:

- keeping my niche interests and tastes to myself unless I know for certain that others will find them agreeable

- keeping physical tics to a bare minimum

- hiding my true feelings/opinions (this could be related to C-PTSD)

- mirroring the personalities or quirks of other people

I'm a deeply unhappy person with no real sense of self, no real friends and nowhere that I belong. That's what you get for trying to please everyone else!

If anyone has had a similar experience, feel free to share them here.

Thanks.

Parents
  • i feel the same way. the only time i’m truly myself is around my parents and even then i’m never truly behaving the normal way for me/not masking. i go to school in the uk so throughout secondary school i’ve been masking especially well in fear of bullying and ridiculing. i sometimes let slip and my friends (or ex friends now) made fun of me and little quirks which was weird because one of them is sd adhd? i have a few months off school now so i’m looking for autistic friends / maybe a support group :) i don’t have any friends right now  

  • yeah i knew a guy with ADHD in school, trouble maker very hyper. but the social kind that everyone likes and is the life of any piss take lol that type of person will always jump on anything to mock or take piss out of. hell guy i knew with it used to snort rubber and sugar and even a live spider in the middle of class like it was cocaine, teacher never cares because they are only there for wage and dont really care about doing their job or even safe guarding the students from their own stupidity.

  • I give you the upvote for making me laugh!

    (Poor little Spider... Vacuumed up into some idiots hooter)

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