Unsure of what to do?

Nevs said:

Hey Deepthought.

Hey Nev! :-)

Nevs said:

I just took the recommended self-tests. I won't lie, I did need a bit of help from my significant other. Some of the questions specifically on the EQ-10 test were frustratingly vague on a personal ability to answer them factually. 

The same can be said for the AQ-10, there was things I percieved in day to day life that the person who has stuck with me for four years definitely did not agree with and had multiple examples as to why. 

First time I did the AQ50 test I scored 32 ~ so enough to think about seeking a referral, but I could not answer some of the questions due to the vague factor thing, so I sought assistance from a friend who is a retired psychologist ~ and ended up getting 43 on the conservative side of the equation.

The thing with differing opinions about our psychological behaviour and physiological behaviourisms is in one respect like seeing only one side of an object ~ with some people for instance only seeing a square of a cuboid and another a rectangle, even if they are not the same square or the same rectangle, with the most important thing to keep in mind is that one side does not account for all in either case but that both perspectives are as such correct observations none the less ~ particular as people's internal character can be somewhat different to their external character, or their re-characterisations of which more usually ~ as depends upon where they are and who they are with, such as in private with people known intimately or romantically, and in public with people known socially or professionally.

That being stated ~ I always reserve the right or is it left to at least be wrong. Some people can for instance know us better than we know ourselves (such as my Autistic friend regarding Autism), or else they can be as much ignorant about ourselves as we can be ~ to a small degree at the very least.

Nevs said:

All of that said! The scores were as follows : -

AQ-10 = 7

EQ-10 = 4

I'll admit that on the EQ-10 I found it difficult to find a difinitive answer as to what any score would mean.

Well it seems according to AQ10 test that I was mistaken about an 8 or above score being indicative of a referral being worthwhile, as in the explanation about scoring it states "If the individual scores 6 or above, consider referring them for a specialist diagnostic assessment."

As for Empathy Quotient test scoring I have no clue myself about that one as I have no experience with that test myself, and I can find no explanation for the scoring either ~ so with the EQ test having been discussed numerous times on this website of forums, maybe someone experienced with that test can explain it.

Nevs said:

( The full tests seem a little more streamlined and if I have the time, I'll give them a try too.) 

I definitely recommend the AQ50 what with having done it myself, and having discussed the problems with the vague nature of some of the questions.

One of the vagaries I particularly recall was "I would rather go to a Library than a Party." which I thought depended on whether that was a library of old with books found on shelves (joy) rather than more these days involving a computer (groan) ~ or else an intellectual party with mellow music and fascinating discussions with specialists about their interests (joy), or one with loud music and intense dancing (once in a while yes but often no). The actual question involved though libraries as being socially calm and quiet and parties as being socially intense and loud. 

Going though the full test versions I think is wiser as they can help one to better understand and comprehend one's finer character traits, as might otherwise get missed. The shorter versions are more for the very limited time frames that General Practitioners use, and the longer versions for the assessors on the diagnostic teams ~ so going through the longer ones that apply to you would be helpful for the assessors if you decide to and your doctor agrees with referring you.

Deepthought gave a fantastically thorough reply there - so much so that I don't think that I can add anything extra but I thought that I'd throw a message on here anyway and second most of what Deepthought said.

Since your results are indicative of some autistic traits, I would go ahead and do the AQ50, possibly with your partner helping you and see if that sheds any more light on your traits. If you meet the threshold then it may be worth speaking to your GP.

Hey Deepthought. 

I just took the recommended self-tests. I won't lie, I did need a bit of help from my significant other. Some of the questions specifically on the EQ-10 test were frustratingly vague on a personal ability to answer them factually. 

The same can be said for the AQ-10, there was things I percieved in day to day life that the person who has stuck with me for four years definitely did not agree with and had multiple examples as to why. 

All of that said! The scores were as follows : -

AQ-10 = 7

EQ-10 = 4

I'll admit that on the EQ-10 I found it difficult to find a difinitive answer as to what any score would mean.

( The full tests seem a little more streamlined and if I have the time, I'll give them a try too.) 

Nevs said:

Hello, 

My names Nev, I am 26 years old and I am currently at a bit of a loss with how to proceed in certain aspects of my life. 

Very vague! I know! I haven't been diagnosed, however I have had multiple people who are very close to me suggest that I could be on the spectrum and surprisingly thats a very confusing thing as I now try to educate myself on the subject. 

My biggest question is just 'how do you know?'

Hi Nev ~ well in my case I was sort of like yourself told I was on the spectrum, and that I should do the Autistic (Spectrum) Quotient 50 question test (more generally known as AQ50 test) with a score of 32 or more indicating that an Autistic assessment could be worthwhile. The streamlined version of AQ50 test is as suggested above the AQ10 test, with a score of 8 or more being the indicative total on that one.

Here follows a listing of downloadable tests regarding autism:

Cambridge University ~ Autism Research Center ~ Downloadable Tests

At least perhaps go for the AQ10 and the EQ10 ~ to start with, and if you get the indicative 8 or more ~ maybe do all the tests that apply to you as an Adult, and include them in your referral request ~ which can be assisted by way of an information pack that can be ordered by leaving your name and address at any time of the day or night via the NHS telephone helpline: 0808 800 4104

Nevs said:

I also thought I was particularly ok in social scenarios as I've worked in bars most of my adult life and locals and I usually get along really well.

I did the same in respect of pubs, hotels and restaurants, where I got into management starting from kitchen porter (dishwasher) and moving up through waiting and bar work ~ with the usual stress of social interactions being streamlined out by the structural transactions of getting people fed, drunk and accommodated as occludes and prevents multitudes of social sins that would normally otherwise occur.

Nevs said:

I've also had it pointed out by my partner though that I can be great... As long as I can be bothered or if my moods in the right place. 

Emotions in general are a particular hard spot as we differ in our approach to things. I tend to look at most events practically and logically and if there's no benefit to feeling a certain way about something I wont.

Hi Nev,

It's great that you've reached out on this forum. Are you serious about wanting to know or is it just a mild curiosity?  If you are genuinely interested about finding out whether or not you have autism, then there is only one option - get a referral for an autism assessment. It's very easy to do and there is some good information on this site and on the NHS website on how to go about it. If you use the NHS, there's no cost involved either. It involves a series of interviews with experts and everything is explained to you at each stage.  At the end of the assessment period, you are either given a positive or negative diagnosis. It really is that simple. Typically, there is a long waiting period for the assessment due to a lack of people trained to carry them out. Another avenue is to go for a private assessment, which is much quicker, but also very expensive. 

In the meantime, you can find a lot of very useful information on this site and others about the general traits of autism and some of the ways you can adapt your lifestyle to better suit your needs. Experiment with them. The worst that can happen is that they don't make any difference. 

For autistic people, navigating intimate relationships can be very challenging. The fact that you are in a long-term relationship suggests to me that your autism may not be of a severe nature, as this is typically one area of life that most autistic people greatly struggle with. But again, that's just pure speculation on my part.

Keep in touch and good luck!

Hi Nevs, who are these "multiple people" who are suggesting you may be on the spectrum? What gives them the expertise to be able to make such claims? What traits are they noticing in you that brings them to the conclusion of potential ASD? There are so many things that can cause difficulties.

What were you like as a child? Any developmental delays? Hyperactivity? Any special interests or high intellect, but difficulty learning despite this? Were you able to engage with other kids or did you hang out on your own? Did you always feel different to other people but had no idea why? So many potential things that could be markers. To be honest, nothing you have said really screams out ASD to me. To be fair you haven't written enough to form any judgment.

Did you do the AQ10 test online, as suggested? This really is your starting point. Apologies for all the questions, but if you go for an NHS ASD assessment you'll need to be able to explain why you think you have ASD & why you need a diagnosis. They turn you down otherwise. I do think that if finances allow that getting a private diagnosis is the way to go. Save yourself 2-3 years waiting. Good luck. 

i have issues with time and dates :)

I'm happy to find someone that feels the same. I get teased for not being able to ride a bike. I think my weirdest thing is I can't tell the time, no matter how much I try, I'm never sure which hand is which and what way they go around the clock.

For most of my teenage years, sports was the only thing that interested me. I imagine I had a chip in my shoulder from the JRA. But picking up skills with my hands and body felt pretty natural. 

I ended up jumping around many different sports from Football, Volleyball, Rugby all the way to amatuer boxing. ( I'd love to say they were the glory years, but looking back I was just a glutton for punishment. ) 

It's so comforting to know I'm not alone in that lol

And I suddenly feel so much better - thank you - about all the games teachers who shouted at me for running away from the rounder's ball.  Well, if I hadn't we'd have been sitting in A&E all afternoon.

I'm pretty good at hitting a ball with my face, as for riding a bike, it's more likely I'd learn to fly.

Well the sports thing could be due either to arthritis or ASD, or a bit of both.

I could not as a kid and still cannot now hit a ball with a bat or ride a bike

Lol I doubt you're just an A-hole.  A-holes don't trouble themselves with these questions, they're just happy being A-holes.

It could be that even if you are sub-spectrum there are a few traits there...I'd try the tests.

An answer which said you were or you weren't in this area or that might help other people understand you better, and you might understand just where you might be seeing things a bit differently.  As long as those around you are supportive, it can only help.

I had a brief conversation with my mum the other day. To spin some perspective, I grew up with juvenile RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis). It's not a problem anymore, however I suppose I seemed to grow up a lot faster than other children as I was dominantly around adults the majority of the time between the hospital and a limited capacity for sports until I started to get older.

Anyway, she seemed to completely dismiss the fact as an impossibility. Which I can understand from her perspective, but since I was old enough to live on my own, I did, I even moved to England ( Scottish ) for university and have a rather bad habit at keeping the majority of people at arms length so I can deal with them on my own terms. 

So It's hard to take her judgement very seriously as we don't spend a lot of time together and even as a child I was hiding any sort of pain or abnormality from my family on a daily basis. 

It's a difficult thing to really pin down for me! I get really unsure about my partner in particulars emotional reactions to certain things and there is a constant need for hugs that I understand the comforting aspect of it. But majoritively it just seems like a 15-20... 60 second waste of time while I'm trying to get something else done. 

Which sounds so harsh when I write it out like that. I am normally pretty good at reading people, and knowing whats going on, so a lot of the times when people feel the need to explain the story from the beginning it can be quite frustrating as if I can't infer the relevant information from connecting the dots. ( I could just be an A-hole.... who knows, but I think a lot of that stems from people not thinking im capable, or at least me thinking that's what they are thinking.) 

..Also, a lot of the assessment stuff is on childhood development.  If you're on good terms with those who raised you, try asking them about your childhood!  Any wierd foody things, emotional melt downs over strange stuff, who did you play with and what did you play with etc...

Hi Nev,

God!  I've been going through that too...

I guess question number one is: do you think it's interfering with your life and could knowing one way or the other make a difference to you?

If so, there are loads of online tests on reputable sites out there, google and try a few.  The one the NHS use is called the AQ10. You should find that one the NHS site.  They aren't a diagnosis in themselves, but will give you an indication as to whether the possibility is worth looking at.

Then, if you want to pursue it, approach your GP or get a private assessment.

I've been shocked actually at how many of my idiosyncrasies, both the ones causing me distress, and the ones I don't care about, I'm also hearing expressed by people on the spectrum.

Like you, I'm not a social phobe -  One of the reasons, this has all been a bit of a shock for me.  But, like you, there are times I am so NOT in party mode and need to withdraw.  And I absolutely get where you are coming from with the logic.

Let us know how you get on.

Dawn

Hi Nev, I’m also undiagnosed but the suspicion has always been there. I have a job and a husband etc so diagnosis isn’t something I’ve actually pursued although I do think about it from time to time. I understand where you’re coming from about emotions and being practical, my husband has just received some bad news at work that they need to investigate, I’m googling things they may have overlooked when he probably actually just needs a hug... I’m getting better slowly at emotions but it’s hard! I can pick out the very obvious but not the subtle ones so well, even in myself. I have found following autistic people and hashtags on social media (particularly Instagram) quite helpful to see what I relate to and to learn. Looking through this forum is useful as well, lots of topics and people seem to help each other out