Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, My names Nev, I am 26 years old and I am currently at a bit of a loss with how to proceed in certain aspects of my life. Very vague! I know! I haven't been diagnosed, however I have had multiple people who are very close to me suggest that I could be on the spectrum and surprisingly thats a very confusing thing as I now try to educate myself on the subject. My biggest question is just 'how do you know?'My partner and I have been together for almost four years now and I know that a lot of my behaviour can and does upset her from time to time. I also thought I was particularly ok in social scenarios as I've worked in bars most of my adult life and locals and I usually get along really well. I've also had it pointed out by my partner though that I can be great... As long as I can be bothered or if my moods in the right place. Emotions in general are a particular hard spot as we differ in our approach to things. I tend to look at most events practically and logically and if there's no benefit to feeling a certain way about something I wont. Although I do experience swings of exhaustion and depression for seemingly no reason at all, it's just what the day has in store for me. I have a friend with Autism and he directed me to speaking to others about it and to see if anyone can shed some light on my circumstances or if I can possibly relate to others in similar predicaments. I guess I am just a little lost with all the information lately and I could use some help with it, if anyone finds the time to read this ... what is now lengthy post. Thank you. I hope I can get to the bottom of it all.
Hi Nev, I’m also undiagnosed but the suspicion has always been there. I have a job and a husband etc so diagnosis isn’t something I’ve actually pursued although I do think about it from time to time. I understand where you’re coming from about emotions and being practical, my husband has just received some bad news at work that they need to investigate, I’m googling things they may have overlooked when he probably actually just needs a hug... I’m getting better slowly at emotions but it’s hard! I can pick out the very obvious but not the subtle ones so well, even in myself. I have found following autistic people and hashtags on social media (particularly Instagram) quite helpful to see what I relate to and to learn. Looking through this forum is useful as well, lots of topics and people seem to help each other out
It's a difficult thing to really pin down for me! I get really unsure about my partner in particulars emotional reactions to certain things and there is a constant need for hugs that I understand the comforting aspect of it. But majoritively it just seems like a 15-20... 60 second waste of time while I'm trying to get something else done. Which sounds so harsh when I write it out like that. I am normally pretty good at reading people, and knowing whats going on, so a lot of the times when people feel the need to explain the story from the beginning it can be quite frustrating as if I can't infer the relevant information from connecting the dots. ( I could just be an A-hole.... who knows, but I think a lot of that stems from people not thinking im capable, or at least me thinking that's what they are thinking.)
Lol I doubt you're just an A-hole. A-holes don't trouble themselves with these questions, they're just happy being A-holes.
It could be that even if you are sub-spectrum there are a few traits there...I'd try the tests.
An answer which said you were or you weren't in this area or that might help other people understand you better, and you might understand just where you might be seeing things a bit differently. As long as those around you are supportive, it can only help.