Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, My names Nev, I am 26 years old and I am currently at a bit of a loss with how to proceed in certain aspects of my life. Very vague! I know! I haven't been diagnosed, however I have had multiple people who are very close to me suggest that I could be on the spectrum and surprisingly thats a very confusing thing as I now try to educate myself on the subject. My biggest question is just 'how do you know?'My partner and I have been together for almost four years now and I know that a lot of my behaviour can and does upset her from time to time. I also thought I was particularly ok in social scenarios as I've worked in bars most of my adult life and locals and I usually get along really well. I've also had it pointed out by my partner though that I can be great... As long as I can be bothered or if my moods in the right place. Emotions in general are a particular hard spot as we differ in our approach to things. I tend to look at most events practically and logically and if there's no benefit to feeling a certain way about something I wont. Although I do experience swings of exhaustion and depression for seemingly no reason at all, it's just what the day has in store for me. I have a friend with Autism and he directed me to speaking to others about it and to see if anyone can shed some light on my circumstances or if I can possibly relate to others in similar predicaments. I guess I am just a little lost with all the information lately and I could use some help with it, if anyone finds the time to read this ... what is now lengthy post. Thank you. I hope I can get to the bottom of it all.
Hi Nev,
God! I've been going through that too...
I guess question number one is: do you think it's interfering with your life and could knowing one way or the other make a difference to you?
If so, there are loads of online tests on reputable sites out there, google and try a few. The one the NHS use is called the AQ10. You should find that one the NHS site. They aren't a diagnosis in themselves, but will give you an indication as to whether the possibility is worth looking at.
Then, if you want to pursue it, approach your GP or get a private assessment.
I've been shocked actually at how many of my idiosyncrasies, both the ones causing me distress, and the ones I don't care about, I'm also hearing expressed by people on the spectrum.
Like you, I'm not a social phobe - One of the reasons, this has all been a bit of a shock for me. But, like you, there are times I am so NOT in party mode and need to withdraw. And I absolutely get where you are coming from with the logic.
Let us know how you get on.
Dawn
..Also, a lot of the assessment stuff is on childhood development. If you're on good terms with those who raised you, try asking them about your childhood! Any wierd foody things, emotional melt downs over strange stuff, who did you play with and what did you play with etc...
I had a brief conversation with my mum the other day. To spin some perspective, I grew up with juvenile RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis). It's not a problem anymore, however I suppose I seemed to grow up a lot faster than other children as I was dominantly around adults the majority of the time between the hospital and a limited capacity for sports until I started to get older.Anyway, she seemed to completely dismiss the fact as an impossibility. Which I can understand from her perspective, but since I was old enough to live on my own, I did, I even moved to England ( Scottish ) for university and have a rather bad habit at keeping the majority of people at arms length so I can deal with them on my own terms. So It's hard to take her judgement very seriously as we don't spend a lot of time together and even as a child I was hiding any sort of pain or abnormality from my family on a daily basis.
i have issues with time and dates :)
I'm happy to find someone that feels the same. I get teased for not being able to ride a bike. I think my weirdest thing is I can't tell the time, no matter how much I try, I'm never sure which hand is which and what way they go around the clock.
For most of my teenage years, sports was the only thing that interested me. I imagine I had a chip in my shoulder from the JRA. But picking up skills with my hands and body felt pretty natural. I ended up jumping around many different sports from Football, Volleyball, Rugby all the way to amatuer boxing. ( I'd love to say they were the glory years, but looking back I was just a glutton for punishment. )
It's so comforting to know I'm not alone in that lol
And I suddenly feel so much better - thank you - about all the games teachers who shouted at me for running away from the rounder's ball. Well, if I hadn't we'd have been sitting in A&E all afternoon.
I'm pretty good at hitting a ball with my face, as for riding a bike, it's more likely I'd learn to fly.