*Autistic Shutdowns collection* - Do you experience these ?

thanks for contributing to this collection

I'd thought i was midly bipolar for a long time, but then realised it was just obsessibe special interests, drive for purpose, stamina, and then a bit of a delusion crash, or just pure burnt out. It's not been a bad thing, it defines who i am, but is exhausting. Weird insight thinking seems to be quite standard in many autists. It's def valuable for me at work.

thanks for explaining your shutdowns, it's helped me better understand mine.

Yeah, i think i only or mostly read people's trauma, upset and sadness. I can't read normal everyday interpersonal stuff well, just an individual. Large groups are strangely easier for me than small groups, i read why in an autism book but forgotten. A friend who knows about autism told me it was on the savant scale, though not typically savant, though of course savant means all knowing.

No, being autistic is both the making and undoing of me. Same as being gay, making and undoing of me. Childhood and teens were hard, awful even, but 16+ things started to improve and by 22 were good. I'm a happy autist fundamentally apart from being single.

Yeah, I relate to that not being in my body, that it becomes a shell. It freezes and becomes super hard to control and get to do anything. I become super self conscious and fearful of moving. It really gets in the way when someone makes a move on me, i shutdown, freeze, and send all the wrong signals.

> Can't talk, can't process, retreat to safe place, sit and just sit, normally stimming. Can't control thoughts.

I don't think I've had the classic shut down experience that Raindrops on Roses described there.

For me, its more like "I'm DONE".

As if I have assessed the situation from a vantage point high above myself and have decided (like Ripley in Aliens) to "nuke it from orbit".

The bomb has "exploded", but my behaviour is not explosive.

Its super calm. My sole focus is removing myself physically from the situation as fast as possible. I will politely make some excuses and LEAVE.

It almost feels like some strange form of meditation. Like I retreat inside my own mind and leave my body as an empty husk. I’m still somewhat aware of my surroundings though. I freeze when I can’t make decisions/start to doubt myself or when I become too aware of my own mind/body.

There’s definitely been times that I’ve wished myself normal. But more recently, I’ve been more accepting of my own quirks and traits and just wish I would be able to function somewhat adequately. Even though I still don’t really feel like I know myself, if you got rid of those quirks and traits, it wouldn’t really be me anymore. 

I wouldn’t say I’m particularly good at reading people, but when I know someone is in distress, I really struggle with it. It’s the same when there’s any kind of conflict or tension.

its good to explain all these things,you both experience. Will neuro-typicals every get such special thoughts. If u had a wish,,,,  would u wish yourself normal ?

Wow I don’t know what to say. I find it extremely difficult to explain what I experience. I have bipolar disorder so I worry that a lot of the more surreal stuff was just manic delusions. Because close to everything makes me anxious, it’s extremely easy for me to get an adrenaline rush. Just writing these last few comments has made me feel so alive.

I've called myself pathologically empathetic. I find walking to the shops hard as i just read people's emotions and then i'm distraught at the state of the world and people's lives, misery, loneliness and trauma.

i absorb tensions happening between others and struggle to be in their presence.

And I can read strangers. Friends get me to say what i think an unknown person's life has involved from split second encounters with them, when they know them already. I can think into their bodies and just start summarising stuff. It's spooky and spooks them. And often i can't say what i see cos there's stuff people will want to keep private. Strangely seeing them in my periphery vision works best, and then i read about an accupuncturist who diagnoses patients like this.

Luckily I can chose not to read people, though it takes effort; and if they're engaging with me then it mostly drops away as it's a subconscious thing that i have to zone into. It makes me easy to talk to as people realise i've twigged, but also people can end relationships with me when they want to keep stuff hidden:(

i can rarely ever watch tv because of this.

That's what I've started call it: flight or fight, but I 'freeze'. And it's weird, there's kinda a nothingness and an everythingness, or hyper awareness, at the same time. For me it's fundamentally thoughts overwhelming me when i get conflicting information (body language not equating to their words or actions), or i just can't make sense of what's going on. You describe it better than me, esp as shutdown implies nothing is happening.

i have never met anyone like u ?  u sound absolutely extraordinary.

do u think you could start a thread about something you wound like to talk about. I think there will be a lot of interest in you views.

hope to talk again

Thank you for being so welcoming. I think I might be a super-empath and I experience physical empathy of sorts. For example, if I see someone with a missing limb, my corresponding limb starts to feel kind of numb. For this reason, I also struggle to watch violent/medical scenes in tv shows/movies. The thought of experiencing Virtual Reality sounds absolutely terrifying to me because watching tv already kind of feels like that but on a much smaller scale.

thats a very interesting shutdown...   I had a big one today i watched a Youtube about a real life gun battle in USA. As the battle/chase proceeded suddenly something triggered me and i just made it to my bed - i was out for 2 hours and woke up really cold and very groggy.

first time a video has triggered me ever. 

thanks for u're input 

good to hear from u 

contact me anytime about anything

I experience this sensation that I’ve come to call “freezing”. I easily get overwhelmed by the various types of stimulus in the outside world and all of the conflicting thoughts inside my head. I end up feeling confused and unable to make decisions and as a result I enter a semi-catatonic state where I become unable to do anything. I feel like I enter a state of hyper-awareness, it’s so surreal. You know if you become too aware of your own breathing it just doesn’t feel natural anymore? I feel like I become too aware of my own thought processes and as a result they end up feeling the same way.

just digging this one up in hope more newbies can contribute

thanks nice addition

No problem I forgot to mention if it happens at work I get the same symptoms but I will pace around fidget with a pen or anything I can get my hands on they last longer at work because I can’t do my usual ritual.