*Autistic Shutdowns collection* - Do you experience these ?

no problem  thats the idea to help

Thank you. You just made sense of so much for me.

Yep

Yes, I'll second that. I'm learning a lot

just reopening this, in case there are any new people who want to add there shutdown experiences to this collection

Someone in another thread posted this blog article on shutdowns: https://spectra.blog/news-views/please-understand-me-my-walls-came-falling-down-autistic-shutdown-what-does-it-mean/. It was quite illuminating to me.

I could see my 1 hour to 1 day shutdowns quite clearly. But I hadn't seen these longer ones that they talk about. I'd labelled that 'not coping'. I'd been having a not coping well week that got worse Thurs. Reading the article relaxed me and meant I stopped pushing myself to fix things and be ok in my head emotionally. And then I felt better.

It also totally illuminated MrGG's shutdowns for me, which was hard. Helped me see howmuch he's struggling, but also how hard it is going to be for us to get together.

yes i have 2 types of tinnitus they are a pain always sticking their noise where it isnt wanted. I have discovered that i have alot of tension in my jaw which effects my tinnitus. So I relax my jaw and let my mouth stay open more. ie I seem to clench my teeth alot unconsciously. So kept an eye on your jaw when tinnitus is loud. I can sometimes lower the volume a bit.

Thanks , I worked very hard with my therapist and he suggested that headphones and playing my guitar is like you say the way i can meditate ,

but i cannot carry my guitar around everywhere so i created a track which i recorded and the melody is just dreamy , 

with headphones on & listening to it i can go to  places with a lower level of anxiety .

I do try the breathing exercises but tinnitus is a big problem for me and all i can here is EEEEEEEEEEEE when my brain is calm which again raises anxiety so its back on again with the headphones 

the bit about the headphones and guitar is so interesting. i suggest u mediate in the same position. I know that sounds daft but there just being in that position may be putting your mind into a different state. Its worth exploring. 

the bump on head trigger, again, do that while meditating and focus on what part of your body is tensing and focus on it to relax.

you have found a semi solution and one trigger which is pretty unusual

For me its a huge burning sensation in my chest which propagates to every part of my body ,

If i don't catch it in time my vision gets cloudy and start to feel as though my head is burning up then blackout .

Afterwards i feel a bit floaty and dazed , 

If i put my headphones on in time and pick up my guitar it just seems to melt away ,

I have never managed to use meditation techniques to stop it yet .

Other peoples actions is a trigger, but also if i hit my head or bump into something can also be a trigger.

This sounds like a really interesting topic, I have read a lot of what other people have written and found it interesting, as well as a relief that it's not just me!

I admit at first I read these questions and posts and commented to my partner that I don't have shutdowns, this sentence resulted in her laughing and pointing out that I may not be aware of it but I certainly do experience them.  We spoke about this and I have to say she is right I clearly do, but I have never really either thought about them or actually called them a shut down.

For me it seems like I can't hear or feel or smell anything outside of my own head, to people around me it looks like I am daydreaming as they say it.  My partner, and parents, all add that when I am tired or stressed out I am more prone to basically sitting almost still and staring out into space, which they don't mean the place that surrounds our planet but rather staring ahead but not actually looking at anything in particular.  Retrospectively I do recall with both vivid clarity and with benefit of other people also remembering that when at school I would often get halfway through the lesson and then apparently just drift off into one of these daydreams, I believe what may have been happening was a shutdown to use this new word that I will use almost constantly now, because in a classroom surrounded by noise and smells and lights and just lots of stuff that's too much I imagine it was too much just my brain couldn't cope with it so I switch off.  I certainly know that as an adult I can do this and sometimes frankly, it's needed!

How I feel afterwards is difficult to express. I think it is a combination of things, partially I am refreshed all reset and feel a bit more awake and with it, but also I am a bit annoyed with myself that I feel that in some way I have let myself down or not been strong enough to deal with the sensory inputs or stress that has caused me to have the shutdown.

I am lucky insofar that my partner and stepdaughter that I live with both understand that sometimes although I am physically in the room my brain is just having a break from what is happening around me, and they both understand that I'm not ignoring them or being antisocial, or that I have any control over it.

I think this is a really interesting topic, and I actually found it hard to find the words to explain things. I look forward to hearing what other people experience.

thats a bit of luck on your part, i mean your wifes sisters valuable experience. Please use her comments in any diagnosis process.  Its worth waiting for a diagnosis because finally there is an answer.  Please make use of this forum as a way to make friends online. Start your own discussion on anything from food , sport your hobbies,  questions u want answered

Thanks for replying.

I'm in the queue for a diagnosis.  My GP seems to agree that I need a diagnosis because I show so many signs.  I haven't responded very well to medication for depression (on my fifth type now), and the counselling offered by the doctors practice has not managed to make any change.  Finally, my wife's sister used to foster autistic children and sees a lot of traits in me.  She's been very helpful to us both in that regard with some advice on how to deal with certain things.

thanks for this contribution to the collection. U are relatively new so welcome ti the forum. You suffer from a classic type of shutdown triggered by stressful events again very classical. I recommend  getting  a diagnosis..

1. Don't talk except for simple yes/no answers.  Fixate on a point in space in front of me.  Stim with a clicky thing.  Sometimes if it goes on longer I'll tap my foot/shake knee.  Cold sinking feeling in stomach or raging pulse.

2. The process is usually fixate, stop talking, start stimming.

3. It can take a while for symptoms to leave, depending on what caused it, how long I was under a shutdown, etc.  Usually the symptoms go in reverse, so I may start talking more normally last.

4.  Any kind of uncontrollable stress - for example: if I've messed up something and am being told off, or (when I worked in a design agency) was in a meeting where I had to delay a launch of a site, or I have to express something I'm not comfortable with - like having to talk to my wife about my emotional state, etc.  Sometimes it's internal, for example when I think about how isolated I am - maybe I inadvertently looked at playing a multiplayer game (which I can't deal with), or accidentally watched a Youtube video featuring online gaming as part of the video.  Very occasionally I can't find a trigger and just end up going through the motions of a shutdown.

I guess that makes me feel a bit less weird

Yours sounds more acute than mine. Mine only gets triggered when I'm overwhelmed, mostly dating, then it happens loads.

Yeah, I've known other autists not have strong sex drives. I don't. But when I get into a relationship my sex drive seems to be ome normal. What i don't do is objectify someone, which is partly what you need to do for sex. My desire comes about through intimacy. So maybe you'll find you'll have more interest than you think. A few of my autistic friends said they were asexual until they met someone they actually fell in love with. And then there are women out there who feel the same, or don't want sex for other reasons. I could even see it being a positive if you put it on your dating profile. Not with most women, but enough.

I feel trapped because I crave intimacy but I have the self awareness to know that I’m vulnerable and very dependent on my close family. Even if I was in a position to date, I’m socially inept and I have an unconventional sexuality which would make it even more problematic. I’m attracted to women but I’m not particularly interested in sex.

What you’re describing definitely sounds similar to what I experience. If I become too aware of my right hand, I just can’t move it anymore. I struggle to answer questions at the best of times, but even when I know what to say, if I become too aware of my own mouth and anticipate myself giving an answer, I just can’t say anything.

thanks for contributing to this collection