Anger issues with autism

I get angry sometimes - perhaps not for 'no good reason' but maybe just for different reasons than other people? For example, when someone does something unfair or is mean to another person I feel angry. I also feel very disturbed when I hear people shouting. 

For me it is good to try and find a way to express the anger - for example I go to the gym as I find that exercising is an amazing way to do this. I would suggest trying different techniques as something will probably work in expressing it for you - as it is not good to have a build up of anger inside with no outlet. 

Yes. I get extremely irritable about things that are a big deal to me and probably not a big deal to others. The thing is with me is that I bottle it up and bite my tongue for a while until I get to the point where I lose patience and become SO frustrated and then I lash out.

I think most people get angry at inanimate objects. I've yet to work with anybody that doesn't at times swear at their computer.

What causes an angry reaction from me is sudden noise. I find I'm reacting violently before my brain has even engaged, it's a purely primal response. When the brain catches up I regain control but I've punched a couple of cars for hitting their horns next to me because of this.

It's not nice, and I'd rather it didn't happen. Sadly it's not one of the things I'm getting better at as I get older :(

I think everyone argues with self service tills! At least I do (alot! ) and im just a highly stressed nt 

Hey,

I thought I was the only one, I often catch myself hating or being angry towards myself, other people or things. I flipped out the other day at college over something someone had said to another person which upset me, even though it wasn't directed at me or about me. So I totally understand how you're feeling.

I get angry with the self service tills in shops and sometimes end up swearing at them and arguing with them if they don't work properly, people must think I'm an absolute nutcase!

Well youre very kind for going out of your way to help! 

Traffic  especially town centre drives me mad. The other night i drove us to a small town, there were taxis taking up parking spaces, cars turning down narrow streets behind me, windows were steaming up, it was raining, my partner was trying to tell me where he had seen a car park etc..i did well as often im ashamed to say that i snap but theres too much input! With a colleague this is completely different as i imagine you have to maintain the calm!!

I know what you mean aboyt events throwing you out. Its not like 20 minutes makes any difference to anything but maybe because being late was out of your control you felt the way you did. 

At the weekend my parents came to help plan a garden project. Id already marked out where it was going then my dad said we would be having to move it 2 feet further down. 2 feet is neither here nor there is it. But oh no i was going to lose space for the veg parch! He knows best and he is doing most of the work for me. But i could feel the tension rising in my chest as this was going against what i expected as id had it marked out for 2 weeks. It threw me. I maintained my calm and after he had explained properly i was ok. 

In other situations it feels like the other people are conspiring against me because they think my idea is rubbish and they always know best. Like they will discount my idea just because its come from me and not because of its value. This makes me feel angry but its how i interpret the situation and often have given things a lot of thought so feel my idea or decision is the best one.

love your username lol .. i can definitely relate to the smashing pcb there is something so satisfying about punishing an inanimate object probably because it's generally frowned upon for doing the same to a human being though if i had my way there would be a lot of annoying people with flattened heads

I remember building a pre-amp for my guitar when I was a teenager. It worked, but suffered from a scratchy background noise that I couldn't eliminate. I checked for dry joints, cleaned the PCB, everything I could think of. One day, I took the circuit board outside and flattened it with a lump hammer. It didn't bother me with the noise after that.

Seriously though, I can relate to getting stressed with things that *should* work but *don't*. So when you're booting up the PC and typing into one window and another pops over the top because it thinks it's more important than what you're doing. Look you damned PC, *you* work for *me*, not vice versa! Likewise when swipe access at work beeps to say OK but then the door doesn't open.

As well as ASD telling me that people should be logical and courteous, my dad taught me that everyone else is an idiot (anyone who couldn't strip and rebuild a Land Rover gearbox was a waste of oxygen in his opinion). No wonder I've exhausted myself by using my intellect to exhibit empathy and tolerance :-).

I suffer from a lot of internal anger. It is easily triggered when people around me do chaotic things that affect me negatively. Their actions and mistakes rob me of my time to rectify the completely avoidable errors that cost me time, stress, money and precious energy. This was particularly prevalent in the work environment.

I have measured that NTs blunder around in a chaotic way and they stumble from disaster to disaster, so I have to allow them enough slack to be themselves - but at enormous cost to myself. (I'm the 'different' one and the only one to be affected by their normal lives).

Unfortunately, when I become stressed and angry I lose the ability to communicate coherently so I withdraw into myself a little further to avoid the explosion and confrontation which will make me look bad and enable them to even say their mess-ups are all my fault.

When I can't cope any more I meltdown. There's no point telling anyone because I can't express myself properly so I just have to swallow it.

These meltdowns are completely internal - I just become very quiet and withdraw but the downside is I become ill. The anger has to go somewhere so I can literally feel my body breaking and bleeding internally.

Part of me wonders if I should have been put in some kind of home and just left alone to do my own thing.

I think that's exactly it. 

I remember in my last job a colleague asking me one night if I wouldn't mind dropping her home as it was raining.  She lived less than a mile away, but in another part of the town, which meant driving through denser traffic.  I didn't want her to get wet, so I reluctantly agreed.  I think she was alarmed, though, at how uptight I started getting once we hit the traffic.  I ended up having to go home a different way, which made me about 20 minutes late.  That really threw me out for the evening... and I ended up going to bed later and not sleeping.

I used to have it a lot, especially when I was being bullied at work and had a couple of months of with depression before finally quitting the role, but I'm a lot calmer these days, especially with my medication - are you on any?

Could it be to do with flexibilty/rigidity of thought and how your expectations and reality of the event differ?

im exactly the same tom

i actually feel like its done it on purpose like a glass has a mind of its own stupid but well ya know

I knocked a glass of wine over the other week.  Wasn't much left in it, but it went over a side table and necessitated a clean up that didn't take long... but I was almost screaming with rage.  No damage done at all - except to my blood pressure.

Hi there,

You say for no good reason... but if you sit down and think about it, it could well be something quite small that's triggering you each time.  I get unconscionable degrees of anger through the simplest of things.  Often if it's about being clumsy or foolish. It especially happens if I do something that, whilst small, can delay my rhythm in some way.  If I'm at the bottom of the stairs hoovering and I pull the cleaner a bit too hard so that the plug comes out at the top of the stairs and I have to go up and plug it in again... that'll get me shouting with rage.  Or dropping a buttered knife on the floor.  Nothing very much, but is sends my anger right up the scale.  Running into a traffic jam that'll delay me even by as little as a couple of minutes - and even though it won't make me late, anyway.  Getting lost when driving is the worst.  That can really bring out the rage.

They seem like minor inconveniences a lot of the time.  But to me, they're a very big deal.

hi and yeah i get angry all the time especially at inanimate objects.. literally 20mins ago i got a glass of juice carried it living room set it down on side table flopped on settee then knocked juice on floor.... result opened door and threw glass outside to smash reason god knows