Do people look at you as though they know you're odd

Yes. I had this recently when I was sat in a waiting room. But if I go shopping, I move round as fast as I can so I wouldn't notice in that situation. I also get paranoid that it will happen if I walk past groups of people.

Groups of people are the worst. My secondary school had a bridge where people would sit and hang out. To go to or from the school you had to pass those groups

Groups of people are the worst. My secondary school had a bridge where people would sit and hang out. To go to or from the school you had to pass those groups

I wear mostly t shirts and jeans, not many dresses are in my wardrobe. I also don’t brush my hair all that often. I try not to touch my hair, it feels really strange to me and last year I accidentally scratched my hair and skin causing it to bleed. Now I do what I’m comfortable with and it works well for me. I sometimes wear dresses for special occasions but very rarely.

I'm the same. I like clothes to be comfy. I've never liked girly clothes. My mum used to try and make me but gave up pretty early on.

I think they ask partly because I'm never in a relationship either. I just don't have interest in stuff like that. I find people too hard to have a proper relationship and I'm happy by myself so I don't see any issue with that.

Eh, what?

That sounds like what my father used to say: dress more in a feminin way, won't you?

It wasn't really happening then or now.

These days I wear oversized hoodies and jogging pants. If I have to go somewhere I'll wear jeans, and an oversized hoodie.

Things like questioning my sexuality and gender identity because I don't dress as females my age typically do.

What do they ask?

I've tried to point out the problem with what they say. Problem is they see nothing wrong with what they say and neither do others around them. What is happening now isn't intended as bullying as it was when I was at school. They see it as I'm different so its my fault not theirs. They often say well you have to understand why we would ask. Well no actually I don't understand. Just because I don't fit the norm doesn't mean people should just be able to pick apart my personality.

It wouldn't amount to anything if you were to bully them back, but why accept such behaviour?

I think I was physically quite fast to react, and verbally strong. As far as I can remember noone bullied me.

But I had massive problems with a colleague at work who singled me out and really bothered me. Once you're no longer a child, hitting the other person isn't acceptable anymore.

People have never made sense to me. Watching the kids I work with now though. When I see them making hurtful comments to others (usually those more vulnerable than themselves), I think there is a huge element of them doing it to feel better about themselves. If only they could realise the lasting impact of their comments.

The thing that gets me is the people I know that make comments now - they generally don't seem meant to be hurtful. But some of the judgement I see in these comments still really stings. Especially as they know me, so they're not just seeing the weird kid people saw at school. But because I don't fit the norm, they see it as ok to judge me. If I were ever to do it back it would be completely unacceptable, so why is it ok for them to do it to me.

I did. Multiple times a day. It was years later that I asked a former senior pupil 'You really hated me, didn't you?'. She said: 'Well you no not really. You were okay. X was the stupid one, she was so boring we called her X-bla.'

That's when I stopped trying to understand people I guess. It just didn't nake any sense to me.

I think my school days are what has caused the paranoia about groups. As I couldn't really pass a group at school without horrible comments being shouted at me. It really did have a very negative impact on me. I don't envy you having to cross a bridge. I'd have dreaded that every day.

Mine, too.  I had to cross it to go from one part of the school to the other.  It was always a horrifying journey.  Always the chance of being set upon.  Same on the bus to and from school.  Many's the time I'd stand all the way, enduring jibes, laughter, pellets and rubber bands flicked at me.