Published on 12, July, 2020
Exactly what it says...
I'm so sorry folks. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so drunk.
I went to an AA meeting, which didn't really help, but it stopped me from drinking for 2 hours. I've drunk so much over the last couple of days that I can't even think straight any more. I'm due to go back to work on Tuesday, and I'm freaking out. Can't face the narcissist. Can't face the exhausting responsibility. I need to go to my GP tomorrow, and I promise I will. I know now that I need help. I've drunk two bottles of wine today because of the anxiety, and now I'm still drinking. I can't go on like this. I broke down in tears at the meeting. I want to live. But, at the same time, I hate my life.
Please... don't worry. I'll go to bed now and call my surgery in the morning. If it means going sick from work, it does.
Thank you all for your concerns. I assure you all I'm not attention-seeking. My head is simply in a complete mess.
I'm so grateful to you all. Ellie... thank you xxx
I assure you all I'm not attention-seeking
There is no reason that you shouldn't be. You need attention paid to the causes of your drinking, your grief, work issues, and general difficulties with being autistic in a non-autistic world. There is no shame in seeking attention if attention is what you need; I'm sure we would all rather that than for you to slip away silently and lonely.
I'm so sorry that I missed what was going on, Tom; you and the other guys on this thread are part of the reason that I returned to the forum after such a long break; there seemed to be a settled bunch of regulars again with good hearts and unafraid to talk about the difficult stuff, after the chaos a few years ago that put me off the forum completely.
Ironically, I had been distracted by reflections on my own battles with alcohol dependency after reading your other thread; I really felt that I ought to have something to say which might help, and as usual, got bogged down trying to find the words to express anything. You have surely been through enough for one day, but I will try to rejoin you on that thread when you have a clearer head, even if it's just to compare notes about how different our experiences of alcohol problems are.
I assure you all I'm not attention-seeking.
That was the last thing on anyone's mind. People here want to help, although some of us don't feel good at it.
It did sound a few days ago like the demon drink was raising its head again. Would an AA mentor help? What's best for the work situation? Maybe there's some counselling available at short notice.
Hope you sleep it off OK.
Glad you're safe and getting help Tom! Hope you can get a good night's rest and things go well at the GP. We're all wishing you good things and here if you need us. x
Not me.. but the ND army.... ! You have a whole team behind you!
Tom it really is hard to reach out for help, I become overwhelmed if someone does something kind for me without my asking, hang on tight my friend, together we will get you through this glitch, take care and let me know how tomorrow goes, ()
This is truly my lowest point. You people are all I've got. Thank you for being there, from the bottom of my heart. xxx