Depression with Autism?

Good to hear that you are feeling a bit better! The best thing is to move at your own pace in my opinion. I hope things keep on the right track!

I didn't think of that, I guess kind words can be a positive. :) 
I'm feeling a bit better the past couple days. Then I've been trying to put less pressure on myself, but still do stuff.

And,,,!

3) hearing someone’s words and saying to them”keep striving and pushing forward.

“I hope you and your union, find a compromise with your work, if not somewhere better suited (although change is a b*stard)... Keep striving and pushing forward.”

A kind few words and a positive giving to another. 

X()x

Positives:

1) I found the courage to see my CPN, and tell her how I've been feeling, and problems im experiencing.
2) Today was better than yesterday.

I have already got to the point I avoid all news and gossip, doesn't seem to do that much for me..

I guess I'm going to have to start working on my blinkers, I don't think I can survive bearing the weight of the world's problems on my shoulders.

I find it's a good attribute, being able to pick yourself up, even after getting your face rubbed in the dirt. I'm not feeling fantastic still, but as people said previously, just finding one or two positives helps me feel slightly better.

I hope you and your union, find a compromise with your work, if not somewhere better suited (although change is a b*stard)... Keep striving and pushing forward.

Hi Foyster,I hope you are finding positives, even tiny ones are so good,

1) today the sun came out and warmed my soul,

2)I got to talk to a really good friend which lifted my spirits.

3)helped to give directions to an old couple back packing in the rain, they were very grateful and I wished them a safe journey and received two genuine smiles.

You are not alone in feeling helpless with all that is wrong in this world, I stopped watching news and reading papers, it all got to much. I also see or sense sadness in others, I feel a need to help. I do help where I can, Just like Ellie said” I am a humanist”. I think it is so true of many of us here, we have huge empathy, we see so much others don’t, we care, but as cloudy mountains  ,cassandro and Bardic poet have said, we need to blinker ourselves to survive, we cannot help everyone, it hurts to think like that but necessary, it doesn’t make us bad people, most never even stop to think let alone worry about others, 

take care and please know you are not alone and surrounded by friends who really do understand.

x()x

Hi there, I too have had a bad week with a crisis on Sunday night, which came to a head, no support at work and within community despite promises and as the NHS emergency GP said you have been left to 'float'.  I STILL have anxiety and stress and have now lost my job as measures were not put in place to support me in my role.  Their excuse was too many 'variables' in the place where I worked, so I am now on the sick, signed off for weeks whilst I lick my wounds.  My anger and stress got the better for me but I made the effort to celebrate May 1st in my favourite wood, made the effort to see my GP and tell him about self harming and that I need help.  So ring 111 in a crisis, I was sobbing down the phone and cried when I went to see my GP.  The next day I set about phoning UNISON, my Union and then had a meeting with my former employers and am now looking for supportive jobs.  Life as an 'Autistic' person can be very hard and we are expected to be beyond any mental health issues, any problems, to be invincible, well we are not and some of us value and appreciate support.  

I like your outlook. I think you don't see people as a lost cause. You see people with some worth. You still see the potential people can have. It's a catch 22 because it seems what's getting you down too.

Hey, I know how it is. It's a shitty feeling. Especially when you feel like you are actually in a position to help. Some people are on their own journey in life, they learn more from their own mistakes. I've seen people get helped again and again, some don't help themselves until everyone stops helping. They take everything for granted and become reliant on people other than looking what they can do for themselves. I'll admit at stages of my life I'd have been that person who didn't want help.

Then there are people that might feel resentful if you help. I've given people advice and when they haven't taken it, they have sort of taken it as an "I told you so" when they didn't take the advice. I never judged them or said "I told you so" but it sort of made them resentful.

I used to work in drug rehabilitation and I haven't always been the straightest arrow myself. I was pretty much a "bad apple" until my mid 20's. I had substance problems myself until my mid-30's. So I've had experience on both sides of the helping and being helped situation. I've seen some pretty dark situations. I've had to walk away from some too because it would put me in a similar situation. You can get too deep into helping sometimes. Some people like negativity, it actually gives them solace and pleasure. It sounds crazy but there are people out there like it.

Then there are situations you can do literally nothing about except feel like *** about the world and yourself. Literally nothing. You are so removed from their situation, location or circumstances it's impossible.

The world is a terrible but beautiful place. Beautiful things can be ruined, but out of terrible things, beautiful things can thrive. This is going to sound really schmaltzy (if the last part didn't, lol) but I've never lost my sense of awe in everything. It's the thing that has kept me alive. I've sort of found a grey area between not wanting the world to be perfect anymore and not looking at the world as if it is trying to destroy me. I'm still as anxious as *** but that's my senses!

The other day someone said to me "I have ASD, ASD doesn't have me". I've got to say it was a pretty mature outlook. I'm going to apply that to all of my problems. Depression and anxiety included.

I think your outlook on the world is good. You seem like a positive person. Don't get lost in other peoples problems, unless you know you aren't pissing in the wind. That might change your outlook. I think you will sort things out. Like I said before you have been reflecting on improving the situation. That's a big first step.

Cloudy Mountains said:

We can't save everyone.

I guess this is the thing I want to accept, but it's hard. 
I hate people suffering, especially since I have- quite a bit. I get this overwhelming sense like empathy whenever i walk past people, I presume they're not happy, and think about how I can help, but end up being at a loss and not knowing what to do, even if they were.
It frustrates me a lot, but I guess it's a lesson I'm going to have to learn.
I guess I also shouldn't beat myself up for not being able to help people, if they can't even help them self.

The Foyster said:

My soul is screaming in agony at this point, but then I don't know how to feel better.  I've tried the "Walk it off." - "Eat better." - "Talk to someone." - "Push through it."  is where I'm at, at this point.
How do I feel better at this point? Is probably the a) make your message clearer. 
I'm already on the b) ... you lot are my change of audience.

You sound like you are at a pretty decent point. I don't think of some of those things. You are putting your plans together admirably!

Lists are a good strategy. Good post. Counselling can help if you are a bit shy for a group.

I can totally empathise with your post. It may sound a bit paradoxical but I suffered with bad bouts of depression and anxiety for years, the turning point for me was being diagnosed.

I was either self-medicating or being prescribed medication (and still am) since the age of about 13 or 14. I was 38 when all the answers came. At first I struggled with it but the actual feeling of knowing what was causing the problems I had had was a massive relief. I think that everyone ASD or not struggles with emotions at times. Looking at everything I've seen over the years it's the people that you least expect that can be worse off sometimes. I knew a guy who killed himself and I just couldn't believe it. The guy was always smiling, outgoing and looked healthy. He had a wife and kids. I never spoke to the guy and he wasn't joking about everything. He was never moody, nasty or even distant. I think that was the problem. No-one saw it coming. I don't even think he did. The only thing I can think of is that he didn't show it and was dying inside.

I think your attitude is admirable. You've sat down and thought about how you feel. Most of all you are looking for a solution that doesn't involve any harm to yourself or others. You want to get out of the situation unscathed and make improvements, you aren't resigned to spiralling further.

I'd also say that looking at the rest of the world for answers isn't too healthy in my experience. We can't save everyone. Especially if we aren't feeling well. We can only do things with things we have control over. I wanted to save everyone and that was part of my depression at times. Trying to guess the future, trying to guess what people were thinking, and worrying like mad when something did go wrong.

I think that you are dealing with things well but seeing the world as a place you have no part in isn't a way to go in my opinion. I can imagine that there are lots of places you make a difference but you don't see it. I don't always feel a part of this world myself but I have to accept I live in it. Seeing myself as an "other" was a route I started to go down but I realised that it wasn't for me. 

I keep a diary list of positives, and try to write down three per day, often completely unexpected things. It helps a bit.

IMHO it's good to express other stuff as honestly as you can too. I'd suggest keep writing down the things that are bothering you and I hope people will begin to understand - maybe more autistic people will get it at first, and we might have stuff in common.  A lot of the time I can't explain even to myself why I'm feeling so bad. Injustice in the world is part of it. You might also check out depression self-help groups - Mind has a list.

You’re a pleasure to talk to..

Then hold onto that...but don’t push too hard... life is tough, but by asking for help aids understanding as it helps us to process and understand what we truly need 

Aye, my positive thoughts has been gone for the weeks I've felt down, but thinking of a few positives a day, might be a good thing.
Thanks for chatting to me, I feel better, if only a little.

...and that is why I do what I do. There is a forum member, @missfit61 whose mum always said... think of three positive things each day that have happened.

for you...

1. youve been brave enough to reach out
2. youve made a new friend
3. youve realised that you are not worthless

x

Seems about right. I'd like to help people, I feel I do the opposite sometimes, but then you reminded me, of something my friend said to me. He said I'd changed him for the better.
So maybe I'm not as worthless as I think.
I'd love to help more people, not for recognition, but just to see them thrive and improve. 

I am a humanist

There is a saying..

people may forget what you said, or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel