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Depression with Autism?

The Foyster
over 6 years ago

So, the past 5 weeks, have been horrible. I've felt completely worthless and inadequare, and upset to the point of crying constantly, everyday.
I don't get constant thoughts of dying, or wanting to. Nor the harming side of things.
But I feel lost in this world, I feel like there is something I am completely missing, but nobody seems to know what I'm talking about- They just throw the :
"You're doing well, stress is catching up. It'll all pass and you'll feel better. Things will get better."
The problem isn't me though since I have every reason to be upset, this world is messed up, I see people putting others' down, instead of showing kindness, and they're stuck in the ignorance that nothing is wrong.

I try to say how I feel and what's wrong, but it seems to go on deaf ears, and I seem to be looked at as if I don't make sense. 

Had enough of trying to fit into a society that doesn't want me, I long the numbness of feelings I experienced for years of being medicated. It's easy to be content in isolation, when you can't feel the crippling sadness and loneliness. But then, I don't know what answer or advise I'm looking for... 

It hurts keeping all these thoughts circling in my head, I'm sort of hoping throwing them out here, and seeing people's thoughts, feelings, experiences might help me.

Parents
  • over 6 years ago

    Hi there, I too have had a bad week with a crisis on Sunday night, which came to a head, no support at work and within community despite promises and as the NHS emergency GP said you have been left to 'float'.  I STILL have anxiety and stress and have now lost my job as measures were not put in place to support me in my role.  Their excuse was too many 'variables' in the place where I worked, so I am now on the sick, signed off for weeks whilst I lick my wounds.  My anger and stress got the better for me but I made the effort to celebrate May 1st in my favourite wood, made the effort to see my GP and tell him about self harming and that I need help.  So ring 111 in a crisis, I was sobbing down the phone and cried when I went to see my GP.  The next day I set about phoning UNISON, my Union and then had a meeting with my former employers and am now looking for supportive jobs.  Life as an 'Autistic' person can be very hard and we are expected to be beyond any mental health issues, any problems, to be invincible, well we are not and some of us value and appreciate support.  

Reply
  • over 6 years ago

    Hi there, I too have had a bad week with a crisis on Sunday night, which came to a head, no support at work and within community despite promises and as the NHS emergency GP said you have been left to 'float'.  I STILL have anxiety and stress and have now lost my job as measures were not put in place to support me in my role.  Their excuse was too many 'variables' in the place where I worked, so I am now on the sick, signed off for weeks whilst I lick my wounds.  My anger and stress got the better for me but I made the effort to celebrate May 1st in my favourite wood, made the effort to see my GP and tell him about self harming and that I need help.  So ring 111 in a crisis, I was sobbing down the phone and cried when I went to see my GP.  The next day I set about phoning UNISON, my Union and then had a meeting with my former employers and am now looking for supportive jobs.  Life as an 'Autistic' person can be very hard and we are expected to be beyond any mental health issues, any problems, to be invincible, well we are not and some of us value and appreciate support.  

Children
  • over 6 years ago in reply to Bardic Poet

    I find it's a good attribute, being able to pick yourself up, even after getting your face rubbed in the dirt. I'm not feeling fantastic still, but as people said previously, just finding one or two positives helps me feel slightly better.

    I hope you and your union, find a compromise with your work, if not somewhere better suited (although change is a b*stard)... Keep striving and pushing forward.