Struggling mid-assessment

Thank you so much for replying and I'm really sorry I haven't responded sooner. I wasn't notified of a reply and haven't been back on for ages because of the lack of notifications amongst other things. 

Anyway, those are really helpful tips and I agree there is definitely a gap in services. I am lucky that I work in the NHS and so I eventually approached my clinical supervisor for some support and she kindly offered me an hour of 1:1 time every 2 weeks until my assessments are completed. It's been such a lifeline. Confidential, private space to discuss things as you said. We normally only get these sessions once every 1-3 months. 

Yes, I've been experiencing the exact same thing, so much so, I had to take a break from the forms. Raking up the past is painful to state the least. I’m now having constant flashbacks, as I’m obsessed with detail, and beyond pedantic.

You may find it helpful to talk to someone about your experience, you could get a referral from your GP, or use an anonymous charity phone line to get it off your chest. Personally, I find journalling cathartic, a good way to instantly vent my angst! Plus, you can keep it, rip it up, or burn it when your done.

Wsh there was some support available, specifically for late diagnosed women, I feel so strong about it, that I’m considering getting professionally involved in some capacity.

I think it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts and doubts, I certainly did.

I'm sure you'll be fine and get the answers you need, try not to worry in the meantime. If they're not the answers you expect then thats ok too, just means there will be more steps to find out what it is your dealing with and you'll get there eventually.

Feel free to ask anything that might help with the doubts or worries! There's bound to be someone on here that can answer if I can't.

Thank you for replying and your experience and advice. I'm glad your son had you to help him.

I'm in a fortunate position in that I do ok with form filling mostly. I work so have to do this kind of thing a lot. But...these forms threw me a bit as I found some of the questions difficult to understand or took them a bit too literally and initially answered no when actually the answer was yes. I'm married so enlisted my husband's help. I filled them myself but used him as a second opinion and we went through the questions together. He was able to help me interpret them better and offer up things I'd missed. 

Equally, before even approaching the GP I asked family for their opinions and any traits they thought I had. So was able to use that too. 

Thank you for your reply. It all makes perfect sense and it's nice to know I'm not alone with feeling like this.

I hope that the assessment results will bring calm as I'll have an opinion either way with both diagnoses. But I am doubting myself a lot and have a huge fear that they'll say I have neither which will lead to more questions as there won't be an obvious explanation. 

I've been setting myself some limits on obsessing over it all. In that I try not to read up on things after a certain time of night, in public places etc.

But yeah, it's exhausting.

I will of course update when I know anything. 

Ive just gone through similar, almost 50 and got diagnosis in Feb this year.

I felt so much "more autistic" during the process and it became a big focus, quite distressing and exhausting. Lots of self doubt and worry.

Since then things are slowly calming in my head, but there's a new clarity I didn't have before, I know what I'm dealing with, I'm not as hard on myself either.

It does take time and it's not the nicest process, the big wait in-between steps and stages can feel draining. Try and find things to distract yourself if you can, hobbies and things might help, it's hard to not end up hyper focussed on it. 

Try not to focus on negatives, think of how it's helping you make sense of some of the things in your life that didn't make sense at the time. That sort of closure can eventually be a good thing. Don't be hard on yourself, or spend too much time on regret when looking back. 

Good luck, keep going, it won't be long till it's done and  it'll be worth it!

And make sure you keep us posted:)

Hi :) In all honesty the whole system sucks and you should not be being put through this and.my heart goes out to you...my son had to go through all this but fortunately for him he was 17 and I as his mum and carer did all the paperwork so he was eased of that burden...not meaning to.make you feel like a.kid as you're an adult ,however there is no shame getting another adult you trust to help you with this if you can..get them to go through the stupid paperwork they give you and to help you answer the questions by this I don't mean that you need help as you're incapable of answering something but I mean more that your friend may know you well and be able to answer them after discussing it with you...I know.my son for example would answer a question like do you have trouble going outside with "no" ...when he is.in fact and has been housebound for more than 10 yrs due to the stress and other complications of going out side.Good luck.