Struggling mid-assessment

Hi everyone. I'm new here, first post. So firstly, hello!

I'm 37 years old and I finally decided to seek assessment for both Autism and ADHD, as quite frankly I'm exhausted and have reached a point in life where I'm wanting some answers/certainty about why I'm different to others around me. That and I'm tired of pretending/masking to fit in all the time. 

My GP agreed to refer me for both and I've completed the pre-assessment screening tools and forms. My mum has done all the ones for childhood information gathering too.

I have a date for the ADHD assessment (31st July) and I'm still waiting for the Autism assessment appointment. 

At this point now, where I'm waiting for the final appointments, I'm really struggling. The pre-assessment forms really made me focus in on my traits which lead to 4 weeks of hyperfocus on ADHD and ASD which has been exhausting and probably quite unhealthy? But also, it made me revisit childhood trauma and various issues which I'd normally prefer not to think about.

I feel like I've bared my soul to an unknown stranger and now I'm left here feeling vulnerable and just waiting. The not knowing if I'll be diagnosed either way is driving me to despair. 

Anyone else in this position/been there? Any advice to help me while I wait? 

Parents
  • Ive just gone through similar, almost 50 and got diagnosis in Feb this year.

    I felt so much "more autistic" during the process and it became a big focus, quite distressing and exhausting. Lots of self doubt and worry.

    Since then things are slowly calming in my head, but there's a new clarity I didn't have before, I know what I'm dealing with, I'm not as hard on myself either.

    It does take time and it's not the nicest process, the big wait in-between steps and stages can feel draining. Try and find things to distract yourself if you can, hobbies and things might help, it's hard to not end up hyper focussed on it. 

    Try not to focus on negatives, think of how it's helping you make sense of some of the things in your life that didn't make sense at the time. That sort of closure can eventually be a good thing. Don't be hard on yourself, or spend too much time on regret when looking back. 

    Good luck, keep going, it won't be long till it's done and  it'll be worth it!

    And make sure you keep us posted:)

  • Thank you for your reply. It all makes perfect sense and it's nice to know I'm not alone with feeling like this.

    I hope that the assessment results will bring calm as I'll have an opinion either way with both diagnoses. But I am doubting myself a lot and have a huge fear that they'll say I have neither which will lead to more questions as there won't be an obvious explanation. 

    I've been setting myself some limits on obsessing over it all. In that I try not to read up on things after a certain time of night, in public places etc.

    But yeah, it's exhausting.

    I will of course update when I know anything. 

  • I think it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts and doubts, I certainly did.

    I'm sure you'll be fine and get the answers you need, try not to worry in the meantime. If they're not the answers you expect then thats ok too, just means there will be more steps to find out what it is your dealing with and you'll get there eventually.

    Feel free to ask anything that might help with the doubts or worries! There's bound to be someone on here that can answer if I can't.

Reply
  • I think it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts and doubts, I certainly did.

    I'm sure you'll be fine and get the answers you need, try not to worry in the meantime. If they're not the answers you expect then thats ok too, just means there will be more steps to find out what it is your dealing with and you'll get there eventually.

    Feel free to ask anything that might help with the doubts or worries! There's bound to be someone on here that can answer if I can't.

Children
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