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Women's experience of autism

Deleted user
8 months ago

This is quite a broad subject and there is a lot of information available on this nowadays in the form of books and video.

However, I'm unable to access these due to an inability to read factual matter nowadays (I've tried 2 books on autism and gave up on both) and I simply can't process the spoken word properly.

So part of the reason for this thread is to learn from others.

It's not exclusively for women to post here.

It was sparked by comments on another thread about beauty and people's perception of how a 'beautiful' woman should behave.

I've had a disagreement with another member here before who felt that an autistic woman who was attractive could just dress a certain way and the men would follow.

However, my personal experiences of this is very different.

I don't want to make this introduction too wordy but I'm hoping that others here will want to contribute.

Women present differently to men and I read on this forum quite a lot of comments (based on incorrect assumptions) that appertain to men, not women.

'The different way in which girls and women present under the following headings have been identified below; social understanding, social communication, social imagination which is highly associated with routines, rituals and special interests. Some examples are:

  • Girls are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other children and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of Asperger syndrome (Attwood, 2007).
  • Girls are often more aware of and feel a need to interact socially. They are involved in social play, but are often led by their peers rather than initiating social contact. Girls are more socially inclined and many have one special friend.
  • In our society, girls are expected to be social in their communication. Girls on the spectrum do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication. The idea of a social hierarchy and how one communicates with people of different status can be problematic and get girls into trouble with teachers.
  • Evidence suggests that girls have better imagination and more pretend play (Knickmeyer et al, 2008). Many have a very rich and elaborate fantasy world with imaginary friends. Girls escape into fiction, and some live in another world with, for example, fairies and witches.
  • The interests of girls in the spectrum are very often similar to those of other girls – animals, horses, classical literature – and therefore are not seen as unusual. It is not the special interests that differentiate them from their peers but it is the quality and intensity of these interests. Many obsessively watch soap operas and have an intense interest in celebrities.

The presence of repetitive behaviour and special interests is part of the diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder. This is a crucial area in which the male stereotype of autism has clouded the issue in diagnosing girls and women.'

https://autismhampshire.org.uk/about-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum

Parents
  • 21 days ago

    Anyone with thoughts on having children.

    I reckon that it's probably less likely (possibly a lot less) that autistic women do.

    I didn't and now, retrospectively, and especially with my awareness of my autism, I could give a fairly good anaylsis of why.

  • 20 days ago in reply to Debbie

    I have a daughter. It’s hard. I love her and I can’t say I regret having her, but I would appreciate if I knew the challenges in advance. Well I already forgot how much I suffered in school. Now as she is growing up she reminds me about it. I’m happy I found out before I agreed to second child. That would make me crazy for sure. One child is manageable, but it’s challenging especially if I get dizzy overwhelmed from something from outside and I have to do both - soothe myself, calm down and at the same time look after her. My best friends - earplugs help me a lot. Last time I had such a situation in the emergency room. There was one child screaming a lot. Of course I’m not angry at the child. It’s normal, children cry and scream but for me it was super irritating, stressful and I had to put extra effort to stay silent and be with my daughter. Stimming helped me I did some rocking and covered my ears. It was much easier. Thank goodness I found space where no one stared at me stimming. So my opinion about having children is that: who wants, who can - yes! Have them. But I don’t like when someone is trying to convince me or others generally that everyone should have children. It’s not to you of course, but generally. There are many ways of enjoying life. Plus having child equals much less time for hobbies and interests. 

Reply
  • 20 days ago in reply to Debbie

    I have a daughter. It’s hard. I love her and I can’t say I regret having her, but I would appreciate if I knew the challenges in advance. Well I already forgot how much I suffered in school. Now as she is growing up she reminds me about it. I’m happy I found out before I agreed to second child. That would make me crazy for sure. One child is manageable, but it’s challenging especially if I get dizzy overwhelmed from something from outside and I have to do both - soothe myself, calm down and at the same time look after her. My best friends - earplugs help me a lot. Last time I had such a situation in the emergency room. There was one child screaming a lot. Of course I’m not angry at the child. It’s normal, children cry and scream but for me it was super irritating, stressful and I had to put extra effort to stay silent and be with my daughter. Stimming helped me I did some rocking and covered my ears. It was much easier. Thank goodness I found space where no one stared at me stimming. So my opinion about having children is that: who wants, who can - yes! Have them. But I don’t like when someone is trying to convince me or others generally that everyone should have children. It’s not to you of course, but generally. There are many ways of enjoying life. Plus having child equals much less time for hobbies and interests. 

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