Sleep

I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since I was 5 years old. Which was just about before I started primary school, come to think of it. I remember staring at the stucco walls of the bedroom I shared with my younger sister, watching as the streetlight and bushes transformed the blobs into witches and animals.

It's a common thing for neurodivergents to have overactive minds during what should be rest time. We don't really just lay down and settle in, as most people would. Your daughter's in a stage of her life where it's particularly hard to have a relaxed mind, so I understand you feeling anti-anxiety meds could help. I spent about 6 months of last year trying them out, to find no effect whatsoever. That could just be my tolerance mind, but I've also heard that due to the autistic brain being wired differently, the effects of anxiety medication can be muted.

Tiring the mind has been helpful for me. If it's natural for you to do so, you could try having conversations leading up to bed time, encouraging her to share things that are on her mind. Or if she likes books, reading time. Of course, if her sleep problems are affecting her classwork, it could also be good to teach her studying habits so that she can try to catch up with the material in the comfort of her own home.

On the other side of things, it's probably a good idea for you to keep a mind on the possibility that this could be something she has to learn to function with. Does part of her sleep hygeine involve getting up if it's taking too long to fall asleep? That was early advice I got, and I've found it easier to deal with broken sleep with gaps of being active, than forcing myself to stay in bed all night wide awake.

I "had good sleep hygene" forced upon me ever since I was a child (not accusing, just relating my own similar but slightly different experience) and since I did not have parents working the problem with me, they just insisted that I go to bed at a certain time, I would read, or (at the age of 14) listen to my shortwave radio long into the night and I'd fall aseep when I fell asleep usualy about 10-12 at night, for a 7:30 start the next morning.

Practcally this just meant I could do my day at school, but an hour or so of kip was sometimes required after I got home...

Recently I've had the opportunity and circumstances to just experiment and find out what happens when I just sleep when I want to and wake when I do... 

I end up going to sleep around 4 and waking between 10 and 2, and later in the day I might take a 1.5 hour kip at the end of the afternoon. some days however (not many, but maybe on average 1 a week, I need to get up "early" say 7:30 so I go to bed before 2, get up at 7:30 have my day which can go as far as 6 or 8 pm before I get home, and sometimes I'll then need a short (hour and a half = 1 sleep cycle)  before I can get back up and go my thing until the wee hours again. 

Today, I feel like a relatively early bed time...

Sleep and Hydration are absolute keys to health and well-being. We know, scientifically, a lack of both is deadly. I don't know how else to say this... 

Fizz said:

I think she needs anti anxiety meds

You're not wrong, but it's also not a long-term solution. She's quite young, but you may be able to see a private to get a small dose for emergencies. But you'll want something specific -

Autism can come part and parcel with biological stress-induced 'anxiety'. On the surface, symptoms of anxiety-over-excitement can appear the same as our non-autistic peers. The difference can be with lower GABA. 

I take a half to quarter dose of Xanax if it's pushing 3am and my head is racing with all the ways I can save the planet or the orchestration I should write. Melodies will whirl away looping into infinity. At 50, I've learned to the signs of anxiety as a doctor told me at 35 I needed to take something or I'd have a stroke by 40. 

But these aren't a daily solution. 3 doses in a row are enough to start an addiction. Further, grapefruit will cause overdose, and the jury is out as to bitter orange in marmalade. 

My daily routine includes an herbal hormone balancing suppliment and a mushroom tonic with Reishi and Lions Mane. There are a great many nootropics out there, all of which  boost alpha waves (I'd had mine tested, so I know these things work), which creates a sense of calm. They contain building blocks for GABA, responsible for internal 'inhibition' (a little better filtering and shutting down excited thoughts), and then aid immune system and gut-health, better focus and clarity and so on. 

But then I've also gotten to the point where I don't have to be around toxic behaviours, I have the agency to exit if something is stressful and Opt out of anything I want. I know the yoga poses to aid physiology. I can change the lightbulbs in my home to halogen (natural sources), buy unscented detergent, minimise polyester (which is plastic) in clothing to near nil, and spend a day in a quiet environment. I've exited bad relationships and stuck my nose in enough books to work out how to identify boundaries vs abuse. How to navigate and see harmful behaviour and identify it, which was a giant stressor most of my life. Schools to day sound completely anti-human :( This is a whole lifestyle, and I can honestly say, the meds did help make certain decisions 15 years ago to embark on them so I didn't need to rely on them. Now it's maybe every other month I might need the extra boost. 

Last, to note, I'm reading too many stories of kids being given anti-depressants and SSRIs which have a side effect of further lowering GABA. Not all but many do. And in a case where it's Autistic or ADHD and this is the key issue, it feels irresponsible.

I'm not a doctor, so best to speak with one first. However, the nootropics and functional mushrooms might do the trick, though they take a while to kick in.