Published on 12, July, 2020
My 14 year is really struggling with sleep. She takes melatonin, has a sleepy tea and has good sleep hygiene but it isn’t enough. She is highly anxious about school, is barely there, CAMHS have so far refused to see her. She was awake last night for the whole night. I went into her on/off. She is now asleep but I won’t leave her to sleep in for too long for fear of it effecting tonight. I think she needs anti anxiety meds which she can only access through CAMHS. I gather she has to have tried to take her own life before they will even put her on a waiting list… any suggestions? It is so heartbreaking to be in this position… Like so many others
she has a bath, listens to audiobooks which she likes, we use aromatherapy, she can use a weighted blanket… I am so worried about the lack of sleep and then the lack of education.
I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since I was 5 years old. Which was just about before I started primary school, come to think of it. I remember staring at the stucco walls of the bedroom I shared with my younger sister, watching as the streetlight and bushes transformed the blobs into witches and animals.
It's a common thing for neurodivergents to have overactive minds during what should be rest time. We don't really just lay down and settle in, as most people would. Your daughter's in a stage of her life where it's particularly hard to have a relaxed mind, so I understand you feeling anti-anxiety meds could help. I spent about 6 months of last year trying them out, to find no effect whatsoever. That could just be my tolerance mind, but I've also heard that due to the autistic brain being wired differently, the effects of anxiety medication can be muted.
Tiring the mind has been helpful for me. If it's natural for you to do so, you could try having conversations leading up to bed time, encouraging her to share things that are on her mind. Or if she likes books, reading time. Of course, if her sleep problems are affecting her classwork, it could also be good to teach her studying habits so that she can try to catch up with the material in the comfort of her own home.
On the other side of things, it's probably a good idea for you to keep a mind on the possibility that this could be something she has to learn to function with. Does part of her sleep hygeine involve getting up if it's taking too long to fall asleep? That was early advice I got, and I've found it easier to deal with broken sleep with gaps of being active, than forcing myself to stay in bed all night wide awake.