Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, hope the holidays are going ok?
My daughter has completely finished school now. She is 18 and she is coping extremely well but has starting complaining that there isn't much structure and she's getting bored and wants more jobs.
She currently does babysitting, some one off jobs, another every couple of weeks. She also has a cleaning job which starts next week. During the week, myself and my husband are working. My son, 10, will stay with Chloe or go to my parents or sisters house. My other daughter stays out with friends all day. Chloe is alone during the day with our dog. I'm usually gone 8-3/4.
During the day, I give Chloe tasks to do e.g hoovering, hang up washing, load or unload dishwasher. She is happy doing these. She will also either listen to music or watch criminal minds but she says it's kinda boring all day. Her brain needs to be busy and active, she can't just sit around and do nothing or chill.
One interest/hobby she has currently is making a scrapbook with her favourite things in: Criminal Minds, Family, Holidays and much more but she likes to do this in the evening, whilst watching criminal minds. Its and organising activity and calms her before bed.
Can you think of any activities she can do in the day which can keep her mind busy? Money isn't an issue as such and she can drive. She would usually go for drives but has finally realised the expenses of this and is driving a lot less. Any activities for at home?
Many thanks,
Lucy
Cool. I know apprentice are touted as way to get cash, a serious steady job. And degrees are very...unstable and in some cases worthless and useless in the real world, the competitive dynamics of the job market. So this friend from Toronto, oh you're so lucky to be able to keep friends, I cant for the life of me. Very sad, R.I.P lady from Canada. I'm assuming she was autistic too.
Update: She is starting to struggle with the lack of structure. Last summer holidays, Chloe had the same routine the whole way through until she went back to school, she had the same "home timetable" every week. Unfortunately, her work is really unstructured, it can be different days, times, people and jobs therefore this isn't possible. She is only interested in doing 3 things (Criminal Minds, scrapbook, criminal minds power-point). I don't really know how to create a "timetable" for her if every week is going to be different. She refuses to go out in public because of the heat, and how busy it is. If anyone has any idea on what a "timetable" could look like weekly, that will be amazing.
Thanks, Lucy
I replied and then it deleted everything :( I will try again but no message is as good on the second time and I am quite disappointed that it deleted :(
I was in the same position last year as I had just left school and was taking a gap year. I took a gap year for my mental health so I focused on doing things that were relaxing and that I enjoyed doing. Most days are the same but with slightly different activities and the order sometimes changed. I go for a walk every day and aim to be out for an hour, I read for 30-60 minutes (and sometimes do this twice a day), I do colouring or drawing or something similar for about half an hour, I do chores for about an hour, I spend an hour doing something music related like composing or playing the clarinet, I love learning so I spend around an hour learning a language or learning history, and in the late afternoon I often play video games or do a puzzle. Sometimes I plan an “out” day when I get the train (I can’t drive) to a nearby town and go shopping or just walk around somewhere different and I often eat fast food for lunch on those days.
I know that this might not be helpful as what works for me probably won’t work for a lot of other people, but hopefully there’s some ideas you can use!
I don’t know how much this will help, but I was in the same position last year! I had just left school and was taking a gap year so it was hard at first to go from a lot of structure to basically nothing. I took a gap year to look after my mental health so I wanted to do things that were relaxing but that I enjoyed doing. Most of my days follow the same structure but with slightly different activities or swapping when I do some stuff. I go for a walk every day and aim to be out for about an hour. I will spend about half an hour doing drawing or colouring or something similar. I will spend about an hour doing something music related - composing or playing the clarinet. I love to learn so I’ll spend about an hour learning a language or learning history. I do around an hour of chores a day, I spend 30-60 minutes reading (sometimes do this twice a day) and in the late afternoon I will often play video games or do online puzzles. Not every day is exactly the same but every day is very similar because I need structure in my life. Sometimes I’ll plan an “out” day where I get the train somewhere and go shopping or just walk around somewhere different and eat fast food for lunch. I know these aren’t the most exciting things and obviously what works for me won’t work for a lot of other people, but hopefully they give you some ideas.
Kinda like my life, only without the part-time work and TV.
At least she has youth on her side, and escaped the matrix of school. If I was her age, again, I would look for work/apprenticeship rather than waste time at Uni. My degree turned out to be a milestone around my neck. Not just in terms of money, but also in terms of jobseeking.
I had an online BFF, passed away May 2022, from Toronto who watched US Crime Drama religiously. Criminal Minds, Shades of Blue and SVU. She had a lot of bad stuff happen her, throughout her life. This December, she would be Sixty; if she still lived.
Hope your daughter does well. She has the potential. School wasn't the right environment for her.