Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all,
We have recently noticed a change with my BIL particularly with regard to behaviour and communication. Hes 27 and lives at home with his parents (always has). He is one of 3 boys (including my husband, and i would be lying if i said they all were not spoiled through childhood, by that i mean no household responsibilities, waited on, etc.
However, recently they have been navigating a house move which brings considerable stress. My MIL has said she woud like for her and her husband to travel as they have not been away alone for over 27 years.
My brother in law refuses. And states he will be going. My husband tries to intervene, however hes responded to with foul language and i believe by that stage people just wish to difuse a situation.
I suppose im wondering is there anything we can do to support the transition? I would like to this this wpuld lead to conversation around moving out, or for future plans (eg after parent death) as they have never been discussed. I am trying to mitigate any major family fallout
Any advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated.
I can’t blame your brother in law. I mean he has been permanently disabled for the rest of his life. Who thinks about him? It’s always about the neurotypical person whose life is being ruined by the autistic person. I really feel sorry for him. I mean he didn’t chose to be autistic. Someone has to be responsible for that surely.
Im sorry if thats how the post came across. Being honest, i think he has been shielded which again has resulted in his detriment (i.e loss of full independence). He has so much scope to be independent, he holds down a job, travels to and from etc. However then reverts to this challenging ways when things dont go his way. Which i assume is related changes in environment in recent years?
However, it is always useful to see others peespective, however OG post was a genuine request to help navigate this issue with all parties in mind.