Daughter biting

Oh no that's not good. I'm sorry you are all going through that it must be unpleasant to see him doing that and to be on the receiving end. Laura has never hit or kicked, just bites but it's not in a horrible way or violent. She just likes biting and chewing. I put her to bed last night, lent in and kissed her and she bit me then. 

With your son, have you contacted the GP or any specialist to help? We're currently in touch with the national autistic society hoping to get help for Laura with the biting and other problems she has. We have also got her some chew and bite toys which we hope will help stop her biting us and things around the house.

My son is around that same age and he prefers hitting, nice right? But on rare occasion he will bite. In those situations it has been self defense during an altercation with another kid (at daycare, his teacher confirmed) or over excitement and almost a random “gahh I have so much energy in this moment and I don't know what to do with myself oh hey there's moms leg CHOMP”. But the hitting...100% frustration and/or retaliation. We said no to him...hit...dog ate one of the snacks he dropped...hit...He will hit people, objects, even on rare occasions himself. Not so much advice but just commiserating.

Thank you :-) I completely agree with all of the above. Mistakes unfortunately are a part of life but we can correct and change things to better them and hopefully make less mistakes.

Happy to help! And, honestly only good mums hunt down these forums and find help. I genuinely believe one of the best human traits we can acquire is an openness to growth. All of us make mistakes along the way, creating new disciplines/habits that are helpful can change everything. It's how we facilitate recovery, how we create new and better responses that make us who we are. I don't think any of us can ask for better parents than ones who are honest and also open to growth.:)

Hi Roy thank you for replying. Aw I'm sorry your mum did that to you. That must have been awful for you! I'm sorry. We don't bite Laura back you'll be glad to know. I don't approve of that and would never do anything like that to her. 

I'm glad that you found something else to chew in the end instead of your classmates. Laura hasn't bitten any other boys and girls yet but she did bite the teacher, very awkward. A kind member suggested googling chewable things online which my husband did and we're going to get some for Laura so we can give her them when she needs them :) 

You are an excellent parent the way you raise your son and how you encourage him in the right way and don't stifle his growth. I fear I don't always do a great job with Laura, at times I'm a bad mum think. I'm trying to get better at parenting though. What you put above is really interesting and extremely helpful, thanks so much really appreciate it. My husband has googled things that appropriae to bite and chew and we're stocking up on things for Laura, we're going to carry a bag around with us with all chewable things in it. I just hope her school will be ok with her having it there as se bites at school too. Thank you for your help with this. You are a star

Hi again. Yes you're right the gps aren't very clued up on Autism unfortunately. But thank you for suggesting contacting social services, I have done so and am hoping they will contact me soon regng this

I went through this when I was about 4 years old. I would bite other children. Unfortunately with no understanding of autism in the 70’s, my mother thought the cure was to bite me every time I did this, thoroughly don’t recommend this. There was a post a few days ago on chewelry it might be worth searching it.

It is a sensory need that she needs to fulfil. Taking it out on you is her frustration, to me it was a stim as well. I went on to chewing paper, chewelry wouldn’t have been available then so I suppose that I used the paper as a replacement.  Sorry that I can’t help more. She will hopefully grow out of it or move on to a different way of expressing herself, which I know isn’t much help at the moment. I do get the,”she will grow out of it” for every issue, people think they are being helpful, we know differently.

Stephen said:

Self harming

or others. it took me a long time to comprehand that, I think I was 10 and I punched my sister and her nose started to bleed, Before that I don't recollect thinking about it at all. I had million accidents and 2 serious head injuries

If someone has a sensory need, then they will find a way to meet that need. It’s best to find safe ways for them to do so. GPs don’t usually tend to be hugely informed about autism. Do you have local autism services who you could contact? Most areas have a ‘local offer’ (found via a quick Google search) which would inform you if local services. Also, social services tend to hold a list of local resources, sure they would send it to you if you asked.

More points for maths!

My oral fixation is to bite my tongue and back lips with the front incisors. I was good at Maths at school; even though I was a Secondary School Pleb.

Anxiety is my chief culprit.

All children need redirection to a thing they CAN do with a particular desire they have. Suppression and bottled up aggravation can foster worse problems, unfortunately. All the males in my family eat ice. They all have this need to chew on things, so my father (who also chews ice) introduced it to them at a young age. He has one of those ice makers that creates small pieces of it. My son loved chewing, so I would also just buy him gum. Any kind and whenever he wanted it. There was no limit. But I grew up with these fixations not being denied. My grandmother would leave nuts and cut fresh veg out all day which my father would pick at. I think my son goes through 2 apples a day now. He has zero cavities.

Everyone with this oral fixation in my family seems to have great teeth. I don't have an oral fixation. AND I've had several fillings and 2 root canals... but I've also read teeth issues can be genetic. (I'm pointing this out in case it's a worry)

These aren't exactly bad habits when re-directed to the correct things. And they've lessened as everyone gets older.

There are a ton of things one can google to chew on from licroice root to human chew toys. When she needs to bite something keep things on hand and always just give them to her. Never use this as a punishment, she will feel suffocated and unsafe. But redirection can be a responsible way of helping them understand what is OK and what is not. My son would want to throw rocks at the beach. So, I'd walk him to the water and ask if he saw any people (the coast is too cold, so no). Then I would remind him he may throw rocks here. Not back on the sand. And I would even help him or show him to approve a few times. I did this with everything. 

I fear it's important to not deny your children the things they are drawn to when it comes to something biological or creative,  as restricting something which is not of grave consequence can become a larger problem in society. Everything can be redirected and supervised. If a child wants to cut things, buy them things to cut and supervise them. Cheap fabric, paper, fruit, leaves, etc. If you're in the middle of a thing, stop that thing when you can and allow them to draw or bite or cut things. Do it with them and help them want to do these things near you. Indulge their curiosity as it creates relief. It might also turn into a career. If they want to cut and mend you might not have a budding seamstress but a future mortician or surgeon. Oddly, it seems to me tho, that I've known a good deal of Maths majors who have oral fixations. 

Hello. Thank you! Yes I wondered the same as you, and chewelry is something both my husband and I thought of trying for her. But I wasn't sure I don't want to make it worse which is why I thought I'd ask here as we will understand Autism and may have experienced this or similar.

I'm going to try this and change gp so we can get her as much help as possible.

Yes my husband wants me to. I think I should change gp but it's the whole change thing it stresses me out because you have to meet new gp, talk to them, etc. Very stressful but I realise I'll have to do it soon. 

We have both tried to stop her biting. Grounding her, no toys or tv but it doesn't work. I don't think she really understands that it's a bad thing and she shouldn't do it. We have both tried explaining to her.

That's what my husband said the same as you. Thank you, no offence taken. I will try to change gp tomorrow before the weekend.

Hi there, this biting seems like it could possibly be a sensory need. Have you tried giving her chewelry or other specially made chewable toys to chew on instead of you?

You should change GP.  If I caught one of my 7yr olds biting they would be grounded for a week. I don’t allow my ASD 3yr to. 

Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m simply suggesting your GP is a tad clueless thinking it’s expectable to suggest  a 7yr old will grow out of biting and really your daughter needs a referral sooner than later. Self harming, she doesn’t understand self harming, never the less she is

Hello. She is nearly 7 now.

Hiya… how old?