Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi again. I was here a few months ago, I intended to stay and get to know everyone better but life took over as it usually does.
I need some help and guidance with my daughter. She has a diagnosis of autism and originally was obsessed with nibbling everything, her toys, me though never her dad and her clothes. But this has got worse in the last month. She's gone from gently nibbling to actually biting very hard, so hard that she has made my hands bleed and hurts her teeth. I did want to take her to the gp but they won't see her, only doing phone calls here still but the gp was so unhelpful said that she'll probably grow out of it. Well that's not good enough, she's hurting herself and hurting me. I'm worried she'll chip a tooth in the end as she literally bites everything. Please help us with this.
All children need redirection to a thing they CAN do with a particular desire they have. Suppression and bottled up aggravation can foster worse problems, unfortunately. All the males in my family eat ice. They all have this need to chew on things, so my father (who also chews ice) introduced it to them at a young age. He has one of those ice makers that creates small pieces of it. My son loved chewing, so I would also just buy him gum. Any kind and whenever he wanted it. There was no limit. But I grew up with these fixations not being denied. My grandmother would leave nuts and cut fresh veg out all day which my father would pick at. I think my son goes through 2 apples a day now. He has zero cavities.
Everyone with this oral fixation in my family seems to have great teeth. I don't have an oral fixation. AND I've had several fillings and 2 root canals... but I've also read teeth issues can be genetic. (I'm pointing this out in case it's a worry)
These aren't exactly bad habits when re-directed to the correct things. And they've lessened as everyone gets older.
There are a ton of things one can google to chew on from licroice root to human chew toys. When she needs to bite something keep things on hand and always just give them to her. Never use this as a punishment, she will feel suffocated and unsafe. But redirection can be a responsible way of helping them understand what is OK and what is not. My son would want to throw rocks at the beach. So, I'd walk him to the water and ask if he saw any people (the coast is too cold, so no). Then I would remind him he may throw rocks here. Not back on the sand. And I would even help him or show him to approve a few times. I did this with everything.
I fear it's important to not deny your children the things they are drawn to when it comes to something biological or creative, as restricting something which is not of grave consequence can become a larger problem in society. Everything can be redirected and supervised. If a child wants to cut things, buy them things to cut and supervise them. Cheap fabric, paper, fruit, leaves, etc. If you're in the middle of a thing, stop that thing when you can and allow them to draw or bite or cut things. Do it with them and help them want to do these things near you. Indulge their curiosity as it creates relief. It might also turn into a career. If they want to cut and mend you might not have a budding seamstress but a future mortician or surgeon. Oddly, it seems to me tho, that I've known a good deal of Maths majors who have oral fixations.
You are an excellent parent the way you raise your son and how you encourage him in the right way and don't stifle his growth. I fear I don't always do a great job with Laura, at times I'm a bad mum think. I'm trying to get better at parenting though. What you put above is really interesting and extremely helpful, thanks so much really appreciate it. My husband has googled things that appropriae to bite and chew and we're stocking up on things for Laura, we're going to carry a bag around with us with all chewable things in it. I just hope her school will be ok with her having it there as se bites at school too. Thank you for your help with this. You are a star
Happy to help! And, honestly only good mums hunt down these forums and find help. I genuinely believe one of the best human traits we can acquire is an openness to growth. All of us make mistakes along the way, creating new disciplines/habits that are helpful can change everything. It's how we facilitate recovery, how we create new and better responses that make us who we are. I don't think any of us can ask for better parents than ones who are honest and also open to growth.:)
Thank you :-) I completely agree with all of the above. Mistakes unfortunately are a part of life but we can correct and change things to better them and hopefully make less mistakes.