17 year old daughter

Two things which may or may not be helpful:

(1) Is it possible she is studying late at night or in the early hours of the morning, then sleeping all day? A lot of autistic people have difficulties sleeping, and I was most definitely a night owl. At uni, when I no longer had the structure of school or my parents' support, I would study from around 1am to 6am then sleep for a large part of the day. It's quiet, dark and cool at night so there are far fewer sensory distractions, and even less people interruptions.

(2) Is it possible she's shutdown or burned out? Being a teenage girl is hard enough, but if she has been masking her autism for years on top of all the normal hormonal changes, exam stresses etc. then she may well be exhausted. Given she was only diagnosed in July, she also probably has quite a bit of processing to do i.e. thinking back through her life about misunderstandings etc. and now making sense of it all. Just that in itself is draining emotionally and mentally and takes time and space.

When she does get up, is she eating and drinking etc.? If not, then I can understand that would be a huge concern to a parent but, again, it's not that unusual for someone who is autistic to forget to do those things and other basic self-care. In terms of going to university, maybe she could do a foundation degree with the OU to help develop healthy study/self-care habits, and then do a top-up degree at another uni? To be honest though, it won't really matter what you suggest because, as Plastic says, she "knows best" (and "teenager" + "girl" + "autism" is that x100).

Absolutely - plus also look at local universities - she will probably qualify for a free taxi to take her back & forth so she can live at home - and that allows her to take advantage of free laundry & meals 

Have you applied for the PIP for her?   It's free money that can really help with uni costs.

We have mentioned PIP payments to her as she has to be near the phone we when we apply, but nope!!! Grrrrr... 

No to the DSA paperwork and I havent mentioned it

I'm not trying to do everything in one go, regarding PIP I was simply answering the question. 

Christmas fairy said:

Grrrrr... 

Unfortunately, you're making me feel this way too. I really do feel for your daughter and the extra stress your pilling on her when you've come to these boards as she already can't cope.

Why aren't you working on one thing at a time rather than trying to do everything and then complaining when your daughter can't do it even though she's severely depressed. PIP is an incredibly stressful process and applying now is unlikely to be the best time. If she waited until she was at uni she'd have a lot more evidence, such as her disability dept's Learning Contract and DSA Needs Assessment.

Asking a child to communicate with a benefits department when she's severely depressed is only going to make her feel worse and cause more resentment in the family.

In regards to the concern re the daughter and uni. From what I've read I'd find this home environment it comes across as being incredibly unsupportive and unsympathetic. I've worked with many AS students who came from unsupportive homes where they struggled but once the pressure was off they thrived at uni.

BTW the DSA form doesn't need to be sent off yet. I started my PhD in May, only had my interview in Jan, so I didn't send off my forms until Feb. Everything was in place for September. I've never applied until after Jan and have never had any issues. I have a BA, PGCE and MA.

The daughter's uni also needs to fill in their section. If she has a communication difficulty and is already struggling the daughter's going to find it incredibly difficult to communicate with uni at present, therefore, waiting until she's out of her depressive episode would makes things a lot easier. 

Christmas fairy said:

Grrrrr... 

Unfortunately, you're making me feel this way too. I really do feel for your daughter and the extra stress your pilling on her when you've come to these boards as she already can't cope.

Why aren't you working on one thing at a time rather than trying to do everything and then complaining when your daughter can't do it even though she's severely depressed. PIP is an incredibly stressful process and applying now is unlikely to be the best time. If she waited until she was at uni she'd have a lot more evidence, such as her disability dept's Learning Contract and DSA Needs Assessment.

Asking a child to communicate with a benefits department when she's severely depressed is only going to make her feel worse and cause more resentment in the family.

In regards to the concern re the daughter and uni. From what I've read I'd find this home environment it comes across as being incredibly unsupportive and unsympathetic. I've worked with many AS students who came from unsupportive homes where they struggled but once the pressure was off they thrived at uni.

BTW the DSA form doesn't need to be sent off yet. I started my PhD in May, only had my interview in Jan, so I didn't send off my forms until Feb. Everything was in place for September. I've never applied until after Jan and have never had any issues. I have a BA, PGCE and MA.

The daughter's uni also needs to fill in their section. If she has a communication difficulty and is already struggling the daughter's going to find it incredibly difficult to communicate with uni at present, therefore, waiting until she's out of her depressive episode would makes things a lot easier. 

I'm not trying to do everything in one go, regarding PIP I was simply answering the question.