2 year old concerned

thanks for this information. we our currently doing all these strategies at this moment. my main concern is her social skills. have you found them improving with play therapy? Our daughter just ignore her peers. Adults she plays with better or on her own. She has good eye contact  with us and when name is called etc. when she at Nursery it like her peers aren't there? Currently at a loss what to do. we try and socialise her as much as possible play dates,nuserys, parks and social events. she makes like of noises and somethimes babbles. if we say mamma she will say daddy like a game i suppose. im just unsure how we more forward.thanks for you information really is priceless.

I have a 2 year old daughter that sounds like yours. Basically, she was developing typically until she was 14 months and then it was like her development froze. So she stopped responding to her name or generally, babbling completely went and she became obsessed with the tv. I took her to the GP and she was referred to ENT, they sent her for usual tests like hearing and fluid check etc. All that came back normal, but then a couple months after they repeated the pressure test for fluid and it was present. The locum however told me that even though she requires grommets i should not think that it will make my daughter "miraculously speak" as she should have still had a certain level of speech already but my daughter is non verbal at the moment.

The GP referred her to speech and language immediately after her second birthday and present were an OT and SALT. Both agreed after observing and trying to interact with her through play, that she has social and communcational difficulties with repetitive behaviour (obsessed with pens/pencils and scribbling). My daughter is still mouthing things to and has a tendency to stuff things up her nose, especially beads. They decided to put her on the waiting list to be assessed for autism which can take up to 9 months in our borough due to funding and level of needs. However they have said that in the meantime they will put her down for play therapy when a place becomes available. The OT said she has very good fine and gross motor skills and stuffing things in her nose could be a sensory thing, oh and my daughter loves the swings ( i think because of the motion) she has a melt down if we take her off.

The SALT recommend that we have a few toys out at home and take her lead, my daughter hums every so often so they said that we should join in when she does. Due to her being non verbal the SALT showed us a couple of signs for example "waiting and more" and said to encourage her by making sure we look at her and showing her. Any inclinations that she is either wait ing or requesting more we should follow through and praise. My daughter is really messy with food as she uses her hands too but weve been told to let her explore and at meals to hold up 2 options and just say "banana or apple" this is to help with speech. My daughter understands commands linked to her routine only. The other thing they recommended for eye contact was to play witj bubbles as this really excites her, or peek a boo or with a deflated balloon which u inflate and let go so she can follow with her eyes. As she doesnt respond to her name or will so on her terms, the SALT said always lower yourself to her and look at her then call her name, play should be done on the floor with her at all times. I found it quite difficult to accept at first that she is different as my other 3 kids are "typical developing", I even felt guilty because Ive worked with complex and typical developing children for 8 and a half years at primary schools. I think it was because I could shut off work at the door but having my own child with autism was harder to cope with and she is the first in our family history that we know off, so I didnt have anyone to of load on as no one understood. I have been and sometimes still do have good days and bad days but when I get my focus back, which is making sure my little girl has all the support she can get in order to live a life where she can function in the world around her with as much ease as possible. 

That’s ok. What I mean is that most nhs occupational therapists are sensory trained (not all are) but they’re not funded to do a lot of sensory intervention so they mainly focus on fine motor skills, we did get some minimal advice on sensory issues but not much. Luckily there’s a charitable organisation called brainwaves, it’s private but because they’re a charity they’re a lot cheaper than most private places and you can apply for a bursary if you’re on a limited income, they have physios, SALT and OTs, I’ve booked for two OTs to come and assess my daughter as she has MAJOR sensory issues and needs a full sensory needs assessment and a sensory diet not just the odd bit of advice for her stimming behaviours which was all we got from the nhs really. She’s been discharged by nhs physio as her fine motor skills are ok now but her sensory issues are not ok

thanks for the information. Just a question you found Nhs limited with sensory issues? could you explain this.? ie did you get support help advice.Is there any outlet you were able to use .thanks again for the information helps loads as we have no idea were to start.

Thanks so much for this information much appreciated. We currently our following her lead through play. which is currently working really well. thank you for the idea with the potty training something we will use.

Hi there, my youngest daughter is 2 and very similar in many ways, especially insisting on eating with her hands despite physically being able to. She’s not talking yet either, her eye contact used to be good but it’s got really bad now. She does parallel play but doesn’t play with her piers. There’s loads more with her but I’m keeping it brief. Luckily she’s been in the system for over a year and had both physio and OT input, though the scope of nhs help tends to be limited, they’re not always so good with the sensory stuff. If paediatrics think there is a significant developmental delay then the paediatrician should do a section 23 referral to the local authority which would entitle her to SEND support at Nursery. Again if the paediatrician thinks there is cause for concern you might also be able to get 15 hours free nursery hours for 2 year olds; DLA and carers allowance. I’m not sure that I’m exactly answering your question but I’m passing on some information that I’ve learned along the way. 

My elder daughter was playing with sand, filling forms in and then emptying them for hours. Went to grammar school and is OK.. Playdough rings the bell as well.

I started worrying about my daughters  in year 2 at school, so I am sorry to say I don't have any experience on how to help toddlers. I hope somebody will come with more advice.

This being said, I think you just need to create opportunities and stimulate her to try to develop the next developmental milestone or basically skill without going all panicky and obsessively controlling about it. Being on the spectrum myself with 2 autistic daughters, I think autism is a different learning pathway, not a glitch in software, but a different operating system.  It has its on coherence and algorithm. So use that instead of disrupting that. She will develop following her algorithm, but you need to provide the right opportunities.

For example, when my daughter was 3 I struggled with potty training. My mother in law was all intense and obsessive about that, but in spite of all efforts it was going nowhere. I was more relaxed. I had a potty training video. It was made for the parents, but was accessible enough for toddlers ! We watched it together several times and I shown her that it was important to me and to her. She asked to watch it repeatedly, so eventually I put it on the repeat loop. After a couple of weeks without any action from me she took the potty and started practicing how to sit on it. A week later she used it properly and told me proudly that she used it. So she understood all along what I wanted and that she needed to learn. 

I guess if she plays well with adults she knows, arrange that regularly, preferably daily and play with the items and games she likes, try to name things and verbs, try to expand the range of things she experiences, like colours, more shapes, more textures. But let her lead and control her play, don't go all oppressively controlling. 

On the organisational side, try to refer her to the occupational and to the speech therapist.