School invoicing for broken ipad ? fair or not

im afraid i disagree with the school they should've supervised your son with such an expensive item and prevented him from biting it i would be included to tell them it's their own fault and as such they will have to bear the cost

Mine was executive function issues that lead to burn out which meant I couldn’t even open a bill. It doesn’t matter why a person can’t pay their bills, it most likely means they need some support, that’s all. I’m getting help through autism plus with managing executive functioning etc so I can learn to pay my bills etc. It doesn’t matter why we can’t manage such things without help, there’s no shame. When I work I earn good money but that doesn’t make it any easier for me to manage money and activities of daily living, such as eating and drinking. They’re just skills I haven’t learned yet, for me to sustain long term independence, I’m not ashamed of that and I’m now learning them, slowly, one step at a time. 

Not being able to financially isn't the same as executive functioning issues.

I wasn’t paying my bills for over a year and only partially for a year, but I don’t find the question insulting. I thought it was a logical question to ask. There’s no shame in not paying your bills and in fact it turns out, that loads of people apparently struggle at some point in their lives. Step change and citizens advice who have been helping me say that there are thousands of people in my situation for a whole host of reasons. So don’t feel bad if you can’t pay your bills some times.

On a site for autistic people that may have problems with executive functioning (like I do, despite having a high IQ and degree), I find that question a bit insulting. 

People have debt because they don't have the money to pay ours was caused by a Switch between full benefits and work they took us to court for it prior to decision being made on benefit claim and despite being entitled to 9 months of the year with full benefits they billed us for the lot and sent it straight to bailiffs who would not accept payment plans so they got nothing. Now the council has it again we are paying. Despite it leaving me with nothing. 

Isn't it just easier to pay your debts or at least get something sorted rather than doing it like this?

So why didnt you pay your council tax?

I'm sure only high Court bailiffs can enter your property without you, normal bailiffs can if you have ever allowed them access even stepping in the door counts. But they can remove goods from outside ie cars unless they are kept in locked garage or other private property that they don't have consent to enter. ( this came from cab and was verified by bailiffs that have been threatening to take my stuff for 7 years) they got nothing and passed debt back to the originator in my case council tax. 

Hmm - so you ignore letter from debt collectors? you know they changed the law a few years ago regards to private parking don't you? i.e. you can't ignore them any more?

Don't you ever watch that TV programme "Can't pay or we'll take it away". Sorry but someone is going to get a court order like they do, and remove good from your house if you don't pay.

You are definitely right that it should be a 2 way street. It is more important to see how it can be avoided in the future than it is to replace the damaged one. 

Ha good idea!! Funny thing is he doesn't like to eat cake 

On the bright side, on his 18th you get to make his cake in the shape of an iPad.... Just so that his friends have to ask why

I agree, a bit of partnership working would be nice and more productive. Currently the schools approach feels a more punitive

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you all

It is great to get a diversity of opinions. I guess I was most upset about how the school approached, asking for money without approaching the  issue of why it happened ( he has 1:1 and significant sensory issues) and how we can help to avoid this in the future.

Just hoped for more of a 2 way street approach

Ordinarily I would say yes. But in this case.... he has 1:1? Where was that when he was eating technology? Chips are bad for you anyway!
I'd argue the case that this should have been stopped before it happened and try to come to a compromise over the costs.

No problem. I work in a school so I can see it from their point of view. Having said that. I would question whether the school have understood that this is a need to bite down as opposed to a temper tantrum as there is a big difference between those scenarios. I don't think it'd make much difference as to whether you had to pay for it. But I don't think it's important the school have understood that.

Fair enough 

I would imagine the school is probably trying to avoid having to use their insurance policy as a) it would take a long time and there would be a lot of paperwork involved b) they may have to pay an excess which possibly isn't worth it for 1 iPad c) it may not be covered under accidental damage even though it was not done on purpose. Insurance companies are not well known for wanting to pay out. I agree it may not seem fair when it is not the child's fault but I can see why the school would do this.

I would take it to the heart. I would sit down quietly and meditate on it. I would ask my heart, what is the most peaceful, the most loving and the kindest response that I can give to this. The school have an iPad that needs replacing or repairing. I would ask my heart, what is the most peaceful response I can give. Then I would follow what my heart dictated, without question. I wouldn’t allow myself to get into a dispute in my mind about whether this is the right or the wrong action to take. I trust that my heart always takes right action in that it’s the path of peace and non resistance. 

Whatever method you use to help you come to your decision about this, trust it, and see what happens. We are only responsible for what we do or say, so as soon as you’ve made your decision, and you’ve carried out the action, let it go. 

What do you want to achieve? My objective is to always maintain a level of peace, forgiveness and gratitude etc, so I can measure my actions or decisions against them. Would my decision bring these things to me? If not, I make a different choice. 

You can also kindly request to read their policy on broken things. And if you feel like giving them an explanation, just tell them that you always like to read the small print, that it’s just you’re way, it helps keep the mind balanced. You don’t have to fall out with them. This is a perfectly reasonable request, and it’s not wise to hand money over to anybody without reading the small print. And if it turns out you are responsible and/or you agree to pay, you also have the option of paying at a level that’s acceptable to you. 

You could also ask to look at their insurance policy and you can look at your own, you might be covered there somehow. It’s up to you how you approach this. As you suggested, it’s reasonable to ask for a full explanation of what happened, leading up to it etc, none the least so they can try to avoid a repeat etc, but also to justify their request. My way is to go to my heart, because I like a harmonious stress free life and reading documents etc and dealing with this stuff stresses me out, but that’s not to say my heart would necessarily say pay, and if it didn’t, I would follow its direction. But at all times I would maintain a friendly relationship with the school and remember that you both have equally valid voices in this. And above all else, to you even have the money to pay for it? There are many considerations to consider. I hope writing about it and reading other people’s view points etc will help you come to a satisfactory decision. Good luck