I need some advice

ian poolton said:

i changed my diet 4 years ago to low fat and no sugar.in the last two years ive been bringing up lots of snot.my ears feel like theyve got wax corks in and my brains started working in the last six months.i could only breathe out of one nostril before(aspergillosis of the sinuses)and im shocked at how ive lived my life and a bit embarassed(45 now 30 years too late).ulcerative colitis nearly killed me and ive had a headache for a few weeks.autism isnt pleasant and i was always looked at as being vulnerable.doctors and hospitals are useless.not diagnosed or helped.i need a vacuum cleaner in my head but my panic attacks have stopped.what happened to my life.i must have missed the bus

Get off the soap box, Ian.

i changed my diet 4 years ago to low fat and no sugar.in the last two years ive been bringing up lots of snot.my ears feel like theyve got wax corks in and my brains started working in the last six months.i could only breathe out of one nostril before(aspergillosis of the sinuses)and im shocked at how ive lived my life and a bit embarassed(45 now 30 years too late).ulcerative colitis nearly killed me and ive had a headache for a few weeks.autism isnt pleasant and i was always looked at as being vulnerable.doctors and hospitals are useless.not diagnosed or helped.i need a vacuum cleaner in my head but my panic attacks have stopped.what happened to my life.i must have missed the bus

hi bombshell93,

 I hope you can get the help and support you need, please follow all the advice that has been posted. It is important that you recieve the benifits like DLA that you are entitled to.

Im a mum of 4 kids my eldest has AS and dyspraxia and we have known since he was born that he had difficulties like dyspraxia and hypotonia but he didnt recieve formal diagnosis of AS untill he turned 16 and most people except that he does have AS now but not many people understand. My youngest son is now going through the dx process and here im meeting a lot of ressistance from family members, telling me things like he is just immature and a bit hyper and a bit fidgety but "will grow out of it" i find it very frustrating that because my oldest also has physical problems they accept things far more easily with him, not that they help me they just arnt as negative about him.

As a parent i do hope that i will be able to help and support all my children through the difficulties that you are facing, however i do understand that there are a lot of people  who arnt capable of giving this support to there family members. I hope that you will contact the services available to you and get support from them.

Dont know if this has been any help to you, just wanted to add to other people who have posted that you are not alone.

sam

xx

I can understand how frustrating and difficult it must be for you when those around you are unable to fully understand autism or accept it. 

My son has AS and his grandparents will never accept it.  This is particularly difficult for my husband (his parents).  They are very insensitive and hurtful at times, however, after a long time, I have come to a stage of accepting it is their weakness and I feel sorry for them. 

The world is changing and we are all part of the positive change that is occurring in the understanding and acceptance of difference.  Be proud of yourself and what you have already achieved.

We are all right behind you, believe in yourself and take support wherever you find it.  You deserve it.  There is a massive community of people in the UK whose lives are touched by Autism and we should all be proud, but I understand, it takes time and support to get there.  Hold on to the positive support in your life - there is lots out there.

Take care of yourself and well done taking those first steps for you.

Hi there,

Just 2 let u know it will get better but just takes time.

I have a similar issue with my family. My mum get autism though not to the level I need. She had help from other agencies, stuff I've printed out from NAS (in other languages). My brother is not so easily convienced. He accepts ASD finally. Though doesn't really understand how it impacts my understanding of certain situations and the usual triad of impairments stuff. This is despite having imput from different agencies and stuff I've told him. 

I'm 18 too so get how ur feeling. When I try to act as a normal teenager they don't like it. When I act "autistic with OCDic" they don't like it. Its a lose lose situation @ the moment.

Hopefully it will get better and sos to hear 'bout the Psych.

Gr8t u went to the Job Centre - u need 2 reward ur self for every little positive thing u do - it does really really help.

Also claim every benefit u can. Its there 4 a reason to help those who REALLY DO need it. And from what you've said about the job centre and not being able to get out of the house it might help.

I will hopefully make a contribution to society through taxes when I get my job after I start my degree nxt yr.

urspecial.

Hi Bombshell

I've just read this post and wanted to say how much I admire your courage.  My oldest son is 7 and was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD two years ago.  My middle son is going through the dx process at the moment. Like Dee, my parents isn't so supportive of the dx and thinks that my boys will "grow out of" it, similar to what your parents have said to you.

You're going through something now that my boys will probably be going through when they get older ... I hope that, as parents, my husband & I can support and encourage them.

GG

Hi just wanted to say i can relate to you what you said in your first post. Its good your planning a venture with your friend for the future. Have your parents never been understanding even tho you were diagnosed at 10?

Hi Bombshell

My son is seven years old and he has just been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.  I am a teacher and I knew there was something unusual about my boy but my mum is very negative and often tells me I am cruel and "trying to find things wrong with him".  I can relate to how you are feeling in two ways.  I cannot talk to my mum about Leo because she won't acknowledge anything.  I am an anxious person myself, I have been diagnosed with Panic Disorder and I know how you feel about facing people you don't know, and I can't talk to anyone about it.  Leo is an anxious boy too, but I hope that I can draw on my own experiences and help him to understand his feelings in a way that your parents don't seem to be able to. 

I know I am not much help, but I just wanted to let you know that someone knows where you are at the  moment. 

I managed to sign on for job seekers today. a big push for me, my parents were outside and it was a very short session, now all I need to do is go in for about a minute every 2 weeks. I've managed to calm myself about the situation.

@ Hope
I was diagnosed when I was 8 (10 years ago) but I was only told very recently when asking my mother about why I saw a psychiatrist (its a touchy subject because they are now my biggest phobia)

@ wolfbear
I don't think I'll sign up for DLA unless I get to a point where I stress as much as yesterday again.
As for jobs, job seekers doesn't help you find jobs oddly enough, I only need to look for jobs and tell them I am. I think I'll look within my comfort zone, graphics and gaming programming.
As for turning a hobby into a money maker, I can do a large variety of things on the computer (programming, web design, graphics) I just can't seem to find a way to turn them into money makers quickly. But I do have a long term project I'm working on with a friend which should lead us into our own independent games studio. (we've been planning for 3 years)

Thank you everyone for the help,
Just knowing there are people who understood my situation allowed me to calm down.
I doubt I'd have slept while that worked up.

Parents can be your worst enemy.

When were you diagnosed with AS and were your parents supportive at that point, or have they only recently started to disengage from your problems?

As an 18 year old adult, you can claim DLA regardless of your parent's view.  Your parents do not have ownership over your life any more, and do not have any authority as to which benefits you can or cannot claim.

well my nerves gave way in the end and I couldn't leave the house. I tried explaining to my mother again that I'm terrified of being surrounded by strangers, I don't know what to do when approached in conversation and she seems to have ignored me and tried getting me another job seekers meeting.
I mentioned DLA to her, she won't allow me to say anymore she just says no, end of. I don't know what to do, I'm being forced into a situation where I will need to be looking around for a job or I'll be broke and we're not doing that well financially without me getting full-time education benefits (as I recently left 6th form).

Hi Bombshell,

Afraid I can't come up with any specific advice for you but hopefully other people will be along who have experience of similar situations.

I did want to recommend speaking to our helpline though, if you think it would help, to give you some support during today.

You can call them for free, even from a mobile and the number is 0808 800 4104

And I know it might not be the most helpful thing but there's a directory of Job Centres on the following page -

http://www.totaljobs.com/Content/Jobseeking_plus/Job-centres.html

And if there's anything specific people can help with today do let us know, sorry to hear about how rough things are for you at the moment.