bad days

thank you longman. my mental health advisor (who I am not even allowed to SEE anymore, because I dont attend university anymore) was very good at preventing meltdowns when she was with me she was harsh but it interrupted the thoughts and it was what I needed. But I don't have her anymore. And I am a girl. I don't know how to show that on here other than have a pink avatar or something. But that's not very me Im not that girly and have gender issues because i hate having breasts and want them cut off. But I still identify as female.

Went to a talk today about Health Watch. It's something set up in place of LINK by the Quality Care Commission. There are supposed to be 152 of these round the country.

You should be able to find a website for a Health Watch team at your local authority. If there is a website there's a report form. You can use the form to tell them about a problem, like your GP not respecting your anxieties about the effects of medication.

Don't know it it actually works. But Autist, you might just have a test case to place before them. Good Luck.

Paull did make a good point about positive thinking. Autist needs to look for "break" messages he can use to stop negative re-inforcement.

Trouble is autist is hanging around for weeks not knowing whether he is going to get help, and getting very unsympathetic help from his GP.

Hence there is considerable potential for him to dwell on the negative aspects of his situation, particularly following through consequences of every possible action. Autist needs to cultivate some "break phrases" - thinking about good thoughts like "egg on toast for breakfast" or the World Cup as Paull suggests, isn't sufficient. You need something sharp and quick to pull you out of a phase of spiralling negative thinking.

One technique is to have several big rubber bands on your wrist which you pull back and release sharply on the palm side of your wrist - the pain will interrupt bad thoughts. Another is to sharply flick your ear. Or if you can devise a phrase that is strong enough to break the thought train like STOP THIS NOW!  With practice you can break out the loop.

Another option is to write down your thoughts in a notebook. Putting them down on paper enables you to evaluate them on paper, and reduces the load on your mind.

People on the autistic spectrum may have this predisposition to analyse all the worst options from the need to analyse social situation when not properly understood. I think it generates an aptitude and possibly releases some chemicals that make it easier to keep doing it for everything. It quickly clutters the brain and contributes to sensory overload and melt downs.

low dose Sertraline has a little bit of anti-anxiety effect.

Pleased you are feeling better.

thank you everyone. I am feeling much better. I ended up being very silly and walked all the way to the centre that diagnosed me and lay on the floor in their waiting room with some hay and a water snake until someone came to find me. I felt better there immediately because I knew someone would understand me and what I needed. One of the ladies who assessed me found me and said she was just finishing typing up my letter and let me wait until it was finished and I took it home with me. That made me feel much better. I still don't know about the medication. What medications benefit other people with ASD?

Autist said:

i take 10mg escitalopram daily. I was on 20mg. my doctor decided to take me off them cold turkey because I took an overdose 2 weeks ago. A week later I had unbearable side effects, saw a doctor at the out of hours surgery and told him I had ssri discontinuation syndrome and needed to go back on my medication. He told me I was wrong even know I KNOW what ssri discontinuation feels like when Ive forgotten to take my medicaiton and one of the side effects is very distinctive. If he decided that wasn't it then he should have been doing lots of tests and admitting me to hospital to find the cause of the brain zaps in my head. But he didn't. He said because Id been off them a week that it coudlnt possibly be withdrawal even though I KNEW it was and refused to give me my medication and instead prescribed me diazepam.

I have not had an assessment with the council. I have a support worker where I live but she is not here today there is nobody in the office today. This is very frustrating a day is a VERY LONG TIME for me and I am NOT good at waiting. I am still waiting for the letter from my diagnostic assessment. Even though it has now been 3 weeks since I was diagnosed.

BSOD is blue screen of death which is what happens when computers are about to die. And that is what is happening inside me. I cant find any other way to describe it.

As Alex the Mod said...

Give the NAS helpline a ring on 0808 800 4104. The staff will be able to give you advice and support. It's open 10am-4pm every weekday.

Likewise, you could try visiting your local branch of MIND, who may be able to talk to you about your feelings 

http://www.mind.org.uk/

There is also the Samaritans

http://www.samaritans.org/

I would also suggest you try booking an emergency appointment to see your GP and get a prescription for some anti-depressants, which may help.  

If you are feeling seriously emotionally unwell, then you can visit your local NHS accident and emergency dept and seek urgent psychiatric advice.  Alternatively, contact your local mental health NHS Trust; A&E should have their details.  

As for your diagnosis delay, try making a polite phone call and see if they have typed up your letter of diagnosis yet?  Unfortunately, sometimes NHS and other healthcare staff are snowed under with work and  yours is one of a number of possible ones they need to type up.  A polite phone call may help speed it up.

As my own GP said, regardless of Autism, we all feel depressed from time to time.  Unfortunately, Autism can make people more anxious and worrisome, as is my case.  You are not alone.  

Dear Autist,

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time of it. I recommend that you give the NAS helpline a ring on 0808 800 4104. The staff will be able to give you advice and support. It's open 10am-4pm every weekday.

Best wishes,

Alex R - mod

I would ask to see a different GP and explain what you have done here regarding the meds.  The GP needs to take into account that we are often very sensitive to medication (increased side-effects etc.).

Do contact the council regarding assessing you.

I know how you feel, I am not in a good place right now either, although I am not suicidal, but you really do need to call someone like Samaritans.

Also check out the NAS website for what's going on in your area by way of support groups or a local helpline.

i take 10mg escitalopram daily. I was on 20mg. my doctor decided to take me off them cold turkey because I took an overdose 2 weeks ago. A week later I had unbearable side effects, saw a doctor at the out of hours surgery and told him I had ssri discontinuation syndrome and needed to go back on my medication. He told me I was wrong even know I KNOW what ssri discontinuation feels like when Ive forgotten to take my medicaiton and one of the side effects is very distinctive. If he decided that wasn't it then he should have been doing lots of tests and admitting me to hospital to find the cause of the brain zaps in my head. But he didn't. He said because Id been off them a week that it coudlnt possibly be withdrawal even though I KNEW it was and refused to give me my medication and instead prescribed me diazepam.

I have not had an assessment with the council. I have a support worker where I live but she is not here today there is nobody in the office today. This is very frustrating a day is a VERY LONG TIME for me and I am NOT good at waiting. I am still waiting for the letter from my diagnostic assessment. Even though it has now been 3 weeks since I was diagnosed.

BSOD is blue screen of death which is what happens when computers are about to die. And that is what is happening inside me. I cant find any other way to describe it.

There is no point in this going any further.  This thread is for a desperate soul who needs advice and support, not bickering.

how it came across when incorrectly read, yes.

Paull said:

The thread is about someone asking for help, not about someone rubbishing anothers advice.

I don't know what you mean by this.

I don't believe I did misunderstand.  I'm just pointing out how your response came across.

You incorrectly judge my attitude simply because you misunderstand. The thread is about someone asking for help, not about someone rubbishing anothers advice.

Every action has thought at it's birth, if one thinks negative one will act negative, to curb this one must think positive to stop the spiral of negative thinking which can lead to doing something wrong.

It means think about something good that happened, think about something good that might happen in the future, there will definitely be something, everyone has things they like.

If I feel bad I cheer myself up by thinking of something that makes me feel good or want to look to the future such as it's the World cup next year, tomorrow I am going to have egg on toast for breakfast, this week is Strictly come Dancing halloween special, ..etc..

That kind of "pull yourself together" attitude does not help someone in the depths of despair Paull.  It can even make them feel worse because it can confirm what they already believe, that people are heartless.

I don't agree with wallowing too sympathetically either, but you need to show a little more compassion.

Seek professional support Autist, so that you can get on a more even keel and cope better with what life throws at you.  You will have better days.

If you seriously consider that it's not worth living anymore then you have to change your way of thinking. Everybody has good and bad days you know.

If you allow yourself into the spiral of negative thinking then you are more likely to have negative actions. You have to find something postive to concentrate on or look forward to doing in the future and remind yourself of good days you have had, because despite the bad days there will always be some good ones.

What is BSOD?  It's not true that you cannot ask for help if you don't help others.  Eventually at some point, you will be in a position to offer help and guidance to others who are going through the same things you went through, anyway.

Have you had an assessment of need through the council, as an adult with a disability?  That could bring much needed support.  If you Google your areas adult social services and go from there.

If you are suicidal ring Samaritans and ask them to guide you to the right place to get help.

Are you on any meds?  If not, do see your GP even if you are against them per se, sometimes just a few months on them can see you through.