Published on 12, July, 2020
Several days ago, I found myself on the receiving end of a Friend Request from a new member, which immediately caused me to feel unnerved and suspicious.
I question if it's a generational thing, or if it's just me. At the time that I received this request, there had been no prior interaction on the forum between myself and this member. Furthermore, their member profile was completely blank. Therefore, I had no way of knowing if this person was on a similar wavelength to me, or if we had anything remotely in common.
Yay glad to help
I'm using mobile not sure what it's like on computer if you're using that. But I hope you can find it :) took me ages to.
Starfox took a pic, that's how it looks on mine.
Huge thanks Luna and Starfox
Done.
That's made my day
(I sent you a friend request today - ironic I know - to see if it was the same person who I thought it was, but this message seems to suggest it is indeed that person, so feel free to delete my friend request if you don't wish to be adding more people given the current situation x )
under your friends section, then it lets you click people and click unfriend :)
I looked yesterday but couldn't find anything.
I will look again.
Thank you
I'm sorry your finding this. I've had this too and had to remove someone.
If you go to your profile page, click friends there should be an Edit button on the top left, click that and you should be able to delete and unfollow the member that way.
:)
I don't think you can.
I think we are talking about the same person (see my post above) and my 'solution' although I don't know if it works.
I have turned my notifications off too so don't know if I am being messaged unless I seek that info myself.
Does anyone know how to unfriend someone? I made an error of judgement earlier today (accepting a friend request) and feel uncomfortable with the resulting situation. Stuff isn't adding up (one minute the person has a kid, the next they are at school) and it's weirding me out a bit. I wanted to help, but I'm seeing red flags - could be rampant paranoia, and I'd hate to leave someone genuine who's genuinely (?) isolated and confused feeling even more so, but nonetehlesss...
As a friend? Sure. Appreciate it.
No one has friended me yet, but, that preferable tbh as it's exhausting trying to be friends with people in life and online.
I have to say I've only friended two people on here and only because they friended me first. I'm not entirely sure what the benefit/point of it is. Is it just to allow private messaging? There are plenty of people here whose contributions I value and read with interest, but I was not sure what would happen if I friended them -- what would happen in terms of the site, but also how they would react i.e. would they be offended or puzzled. Now I wonder if I am doing this "wrong."
I am often wary of starting unstructured conversations (particularly in real life, but sometimes online) for fear of rejection, or just not having anything to say. This is probably social anxiety-related. However, as I met my wife when she sent an email to me via my blog, maybe I should not be so fearful!
Can I add you please
Sorry, not a parent so probably best of those who are advise on that one.
Okay
Actually, two other people local to me are in intermittent contact too, at least for now and as long as I ration my waffle no doubt. But that's much more recent. Nevertheless, I made it sound like nobody's ever kept a conversation going and that's not entirely accurate.
I'll try :-) Within my limited capacity to do so!
Hello can you help me please
It's an interesting thing with Friend requests. I've understandably had very few, and would never presume to initiate one (self esteem issues!). The few I've had (for which I am grateful) seem to operate in dormant mode - honorary rather than functional. That's OK, just the prevailing etiquette I suppose! It's just kind of someone to make the gesture, and that's enough.
The one exception was a lovely person who was on here for a while, sent me a friend request, would initiate actual conversations, and a nice friendship with intermittent contact was tentatively developing. We talked about/shared music, favourite tv, and a little about life in general. Then they changed their name overnight. I sent them a message to say that if they were indicating they no longer wanted to talk privately, I understood but hopefully they'd still be around on the forum as they were a really nice person whose posts were always really positive and encouraging to anyone on here. They then suddenly removed all their friends, and a day later disappeared off the forum altogether. It left me feeling pretty low as it was the latest instance of making me realise yet again what a 'small doses' person I am. To the extent that even ND people will sooner of later flee from my overly-wordy way of talking. Of course, it may have not been me (or just me) at all. Other stuff may have been going on in their life, or they may have been someone who really burns through their special interests (this place as 'the answer' so to speak), 100% into it and then suddenly not.
Goodbyes and disappearances are always hard, probably best to assume any interaction with anyone could be one's last and never get complecent.
Anyway, I can understand your caution Sparkly, especially in light of some stuff you went through a while back. Trust must always be earned, and if something feels too out of the blue, or pushy, I'd say you're wise to tread carefully.