I feel like an alien

Next time you step outside wear visible ear defenders or over ear headphones. Then your neighbour will assume you can't hear her and hopefully soon give up. 

I too hate it when something like that happens. I tend to just smile and nod, a problem if what they decide to talk about is not appropriate to smiling and nodding. If I do try to reply usually only one word comes out and often it isn't even the word I meant to say. I desperately want to escape but do not know how to politely.

I had one neighbour (years ago) who used to pop her head over the fence and try and talk to me whenever she saw me in my garden. I considered it an intrusion, because I was in my own personal space in my garden, and it made me even more anxious about stepping outside. 

Thankfully that neighbour moved and the others stopped trying to speak to me years ago. I suspect I am now considered very strange by them and treated as such.

My neighbour used to do this too over the fence, I hated it so much, the garden should be my private space. They don’t do it anymore because last year I was pushed to the limit by the screaming kids of the kids while I was in the living room at night, one of them was chasing the kids around shouting rahhh really loudly and it went on for an hour, I ended up losing it and banging on the wall and screaming. Well now they think I’m a psycho and she tried to guilt trip me over email. I explained how intrusive it was and she actually apologised but we don’t talk anymore thankfully. However they are still completely intrusive in my space, they installed cameras last year that can see in my back and front garden, they are always climbing up ladders and cutting bits of tree off and looking in my kitchen. Never known anything like it, I’d never be that intrusive into someone’s life. 

That is bad and intrusive behaviour by your neighbours. I have had incidents like that where neighbours seem to have taken some sort of obsessive unhealthy interest in my life. At one stage they used to brazenly stand outside and stare in. I had vertical blinds installed on all my windows but I really am not that interesting! Then they installed cameras which face my house. Their presence adds to my feeling that I am being watched whenever I step outside. I think that's partly why I react so badly when a dog barks at me, as the dog alerts everyone in the area to the fact that I am there. I just want to live my life quietly and go unnoticed by others. I consider myself a quiet and considerate neighbour, but I guess they just see weird loner.

It reminds me of when a murderer is caught. You see the neighbours being interviewed on the TV news saying things like "well he was a loner", "he always seemed weird", "he never went out much", etc. No wonder autistic people are perceived negatively by some people in society. They clearly think we're all some kind of psycho!

The local kids drive me mad too. They seem to be constantly screaming and shouting, sometimes for hours non stop. I couldn't stand that noise when I was a child myself in the playground and I certainly can't stand it now. Then they set the local dogs off barking when they ride past on their bikes and scooters.

Why do so many people put those huge trampolines in their gardens? They just encourage all the screaming and squealing. A house near me has a very large garden and they seem to have turned it into a mini theme park for the kids, massive trampoline, zip wire, swings, pool, etc. Just another reason I end up staying inside with all my doors and windows shut. Other people don't understand why it gets to me so much 

That is bad and intrusive behaviour by your neighbours. I have had incidents like that where neighbours seem to have taken some sort of obsessive unhealthy interest in my life. At one stage they used to brazenly stand outside and stare in. I had vertical blinds installed on all my windows but I really am not that interesting! Then they installed cameras which face my house. Their presence adds to my feeling that I am being watched whenever I step outside. I think that's partly why I react so badly when a dog barks at me, as the dog alerts everyone in the area to the fact that I am there. I just want to live my life quietly and go unnoticed by others. I consider myself a quiet and considerate neighbour, but I guess they just see weird loner.

It reminds me of when a murderer is caught. You see the neighbours being interviewed on the TV news saying things like "well he was a loner", "he always seemed weird", "he never went out much", etc. No wonder autistic people are perceived negatively by some people in society. They clearly think we're all some kind of psycho!

The local kids drive me mad too. They seem to be constantly screaming and shouting, sometimes for hours non stop. I couldn't stand that noise when I was a child myself in the playground and I certainly can't stand it now. Then they set the local dogs off barking when they ride past on their bikes and scooters.

Why do so many people put those huge trampolines in their gardens? They just encourage all the screaming and squealing. A house near me has a very large garden and they seem to have turned it into a mini theme park for the kids, massive trampoline, zip wire, swings, pool, etc. Just another reason I end up staying inside with all my doors and windows shut. Other people don't understand why it gets to me so much 

Yes, interoception if you are aware of internal body states, which many people are, but you are hypersensitive to it. Definitely not caused by anxiety.  I think its more not being able to filter out, ignore things that the brain senses but normally aren't helpful, and some aspects of autism are like that, notice too much, feel too much, and not able to focus clearly because of all that.

Have you heard of Willard Wigan, a fantastic autistic micro-sculptor - makes figures, scenes, that fit in the eye of the needled - he slows his heartbeat and sculpts between beats so the slight pulse tremor doesn't affect his work at that scale.  He must sense his heartbeat else wouldn't know if slow enough, or when to make the next move.  Taught himself to use the feedback to control of his heartbeat, to enable what he what he wanted to achieve, no courses, that is hyperfocus + special interest + obsessional thinking all in one

His websites not working but plenty online about him

Willard Wigan MBE — Brunswick Art Gallery 

I didn't know he has done a TED speech so watching that, anyone autistic should watch.       

I've explained it to several GPs over the years. Their response has always been that is caused by anxiety. However when I went through the assessment for autism they said that such hypersensitivity is an autistic thing. I believe it is called hypersensitive interoception.

I've had it so long that I don't worry about it, not that I'm aware of anyway. However I still find the sensations unpleasant, especially when I'm trying to sleep and can't distract myself from it quite as well. Whichever side I lay on I'll feel my pulse near that ear and often in my arms and legs as well. On my back I'll feel it more in my back and neck.

It can get very overwhelming when my heart rate surges in response to unwanted noise or any other trigger. I suspect there may be some subconscious feedback loop in play, one that started at an early age and happens without my being aware or consciously worrying.

I found an interesting article online. It says that not being aware of the pulse of the heart might prevent anxiety and that there is a specific region of the brain whose task is to suppress it for our own good.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/05/160504121336.htm 

That part of the brain must not be working properly in my case and may explain why I can never turn off that anxious feeling.

If I can find some calming sounds that are helpful I will try playing those at night. Hopefully they will provide some distraction from the sensations.

You should read up about being aware of your pulse, either hearing or other means, because it causes a feedback loop to the brain - it can be positive for some, comforting, but for others they can react to it and worry its too fast or a heart problem etc., feeds anxiety which makes the pulse faster or even cause palpations which is going to be worrying.  People have to learn to interrupting the feedback, notice or be aware of it, but without the worry - any concerns with the heart are best read about, or see your GP for advice, worrying about your heart rate is like worrying about your driving when driving- much more likely to cause a problem than solve anything.  

That is a helpful perspective, thank you.

I have been focussing on the unwanted noise far too much. Trying to block it out has almost become a new obsessive interest for me. However I have come to the realisation that the approach I have been taking is not working and I need to rethink it.

I experience exactly what you describe when I use noise blocking solutions, such as ear plugs or ear defenders. Whilst it isn't zero auditory input I soon become overwhelmed by the noise from my own blood rushing and pulse racing inside my head.

Being aware of my own pulses in my body is something I have experienced throughout my life. I find the only thing that really helps to take my mind off it is distraction, but it still a problem when trying to sleep. 

I guess what I would consider 'quiet' in the middle of nowhere isn't really silence. The sounds of nature, the gentle breeze, the leaves rustling, the birds, are still there and I am able to enjoy those. I will start looking online for some of those natural sounds.

Noise is difficult to avoid, or reduce, its easier to work on tolerating it, by focussing on better things.

I don't know if you've been to a really quiet place, but the phrase 'the silence is deafening' is fairly true, its not the relief you might expect, and some autistic people struggle with zero auditory input and is disturbing to them. Most people might hear the silence + (quietly) blood following in their ears, and hearing your pulse racing is not good as it can increase anxiety/stress.

Soft, calm, sounds benefit more than silence, hence rise in ASMR videos, and listening to long natural videos on youtube can help, like mountains streams, its finding ones that don't trigger you at all, many might find babbling water annoying and then it isn't helpful.

Murders was maybe an extreme example to use   As you say that isn't the case at all, but it can feed the negative way people outside of society norms are portrayed in the media.

I am trying to take a break from my triggers at the moment. I think I've got to the stage where I've burnt out and can no longer tolerate any noise. That's never going to be achievable, not on this planet anyway. Hopefully I will try venturing out into the world again once the school holidays are over.

You say about murders by 'loners/weird' people but much more regularly are murders by people you can't say are loners/weird, so no need to feel judged in that way and just go out as you are and work on being comfortable as you are. 

Many triggers in life when autistic, and usually no control over any of them, so its living with them as best you can, and make time to have a break from them where/when you can.