Anyone Like Me Here ?

quote Susie "Hey and humans slobber and chew and lick things too!!"  That made me laugh out loud

Yes, sometimes, I think some animals(eg tigers, horses, dogs) are more human than some humans that we may know personally.  lol

Aw Paull, no heated debates for me either thanks! I think we all have stuff that we are uncomfortable about and none of it makes it right or wrong. I, quite obviously, love my dogs but I accept that not everybody is going to love them too. Differences in opinions is what makes us all unique (sp) and we should not be judged by them / for them - each to his own etc. I personally am more offended by humans(and their lack of hygene) Hey and humans slobber and chew and lick things too!!

Hi Hope,

yes I know exactly what you mean about certain breeds ! I cross over if I see one coming, if one gets on the bus/tube then I get off. I know a lot of people get joy and happiness from a pet and I can see why, but at the same time see all the negatives hugely overriding any positives.

I see all these behaviours as some kind of blight on my life but I know as most people don't have them then obviously they are my problem - but at the same time it doesn't help the problem go away because I can't change my behaviour because it is there for what I assume is a logical reason - eg I dont want to catch germs, I don't want to get bitten by a dog etc... but the thing is all these behaviours are based on a tiny chance of something happening - its like worrying about flying because the plane might crash but in reality there are million of flights a year and only a handful of crashes. I want to control my behaviour but can't stop it. I'm 45 this week and just getting tired of it all as it seems to get worse as I get older, I didnt really start the hygiene thing until about 7 years ago, so its like I am becoming worse as I get older.

Hello Paull,

I understand what you mean about dogs. I don't like it when strange dogs touch me, even if I am  told they are friendly, it is still unnerving. Consequently I have a phobia of dogs I don't know, although I am particularly wary of certain breeds that have a bad reputation.

I did, however, have a dog as a child, and I loved her with all my heart. She was a welsh collie/cross welsh spaniel, so think of a dog with a bushy tail, floppy ears, but a bit smaller than a collie. She had a red and white coat, and her name was Jessy. We had very strict rules for Jessy, so much so, that we joke about Aspergerising her!. She was only allowed in the hallway of the house, where her bed was, and could only enter  the kitchen when it was time to be fed. As a result, hairs were only confined to a small portion of the house, and she molted a lot - you just got used to it though.  We did have a spacious back garden, and Jessy could wonder in it when my Dad was gardening. But she was not allowed to poo in the garden - she was trained not to. We always took her out for regular walks. Because she was  highly trained, she was never on furniture, either.

I miss her like mad because you can form a real bond with a family pet, particularly since she lived until 16 years old.

Hi Susie

yes I know you are right about hygiene and your logic is flawless, but I don't think I can change this habit, but at least its good to get other peoples views, hopefully, if I keep reminding myself that I am taking it too far then I can start to address the problem.

I know in my posting I said "I cannot stand people who live with pets - like a cat or dog, I can't understand how these people allow pets to walk outside then inside and all over the carpet an furniture, slobber, hairs etc...I love animals but they belong in the wild."

...and you have dogs,... I don't want to get into a heated debate, but I genuinely want to understand things that I don't, and in this instance obviously you are happy with having dogs and thats your business and I have no right to tell you that you can't... but when I was young we had a dog, and I absolutely hated it, there were hairs everywhere, all over the furniture, all over my clothes, even after coming out of the washing machine, in my bed etc.... the dog would go into the garden and would do a poo, then come back into the house and sit on the sofa, no doubt with a dirty bottom, it would also slobber and chew and lick things, not to mention its feet being dirty from being outside and then inside without washing them, and even times when it did its business on the carpet, do you really live with all this or was my situation an extreme ?

Hi Hope,

yes you do sound like my shadow ...almost !!!

The kitchen flannel -  I have to make sure its been in boiling water, but still wash my hands after touching it, another problem is I wash my hands in hot water ot make sure all the germs are gone, and if I wash them too much then they get sore. Yes, when I eat fruit or fresh veg I always pour boiling water over them first as well !!!

If I go out and someone is coughing/sneezing etc then I've even resorted to pulling my coat over my mouth and nose, I guess I must look stupid but at least I am cutting down the risk of catching something. I thought about having a surgical mask ready, but infections enter though the eyes as well, so maybe I need glasses and a mask - hmm, think thats going too far ...so will stick with the coat over the head for emergencies !!!!

Yes, I know some places can have a high hygiene rating, but to me it still doesn't hold sway... I know I take it too far, but thats just the world I live in, I know if someone else made a sandwich for me then they will no doubt open a fridge/cupboard etc then touch food with the same hand, use a chopping board thats not newly washed etc...etc..it doesn't bear thinking about, I would rather avoid it and do it myself, thats the only way I can be 100%.

I forgot about perfume as well, I have to get off the bus - I wonder why people are sitting there not coughing and spluttering sometimes, the smell takes over the entire bus/room etc..

I dont get irritated by words, but people pretending to be sincere/care when they are obviously not, is this what you mean ?...I know some traits in ASD means some people can't understand facial expressions, but to me its the opposite, I understand them completely and can read people like a book, tell when they are lying, trying to hide something, acting etc...so in that manner people use words to try to disguise their true feelings - but they cannot change their expression to match their words and so expose themselves - but as you cannot challenge their expression and only their words then its annoying - sometimes its so obvious ...as if someone is saying "I love you" but pulling a hateful face.. do you feel like this as well ?

wow, its good to know other people have similar behaviour, yes Autismtwo, I also can analyse things too much as well, in fact I even have worked out how the universe recycles itself or as others wrongly call it - the big bang, as for likes then its probably anything factual such as science, history and I like quiz shows but also like anything that needs to be solved, I know the fat thing may be judgemental in other peoples eyes, but yes its more to do with logic because to me physical appearance is a reflection of ones mind - it's just how I interpret it - therefore by this logic a very fat person must be lazy, greedy and does not want to look after themselves. I smoke and drink alcohol sometimes maybe once to twice a month, and you have your reasons to dislike them, yes they are flaws, and no doubt if I was perfect I would not partake in those, no doubt if I did not smoke then I would probably think bad of others that did also. I guess as both my parents smoked, even my mother while pregnant - maybe I was born addicted to nicotine, as I started smoking at a very young age of about 10 years old. Ideally I would stop, in reality I don't because I don't have the will power, probably in the same way as a fat person does not have the will power to stop eating cakes so in that manner your judgement is correct !

I'm with all of you on many things and thank you for posting that Paull. Personally I take the middle line with hygene - sterilisation of everything in my view is not healthy and likewise bugs are not always so bad. Read somewhere once that kids don't eat enough dirt nowadays to be healthy and I can see the logic in that. Hate chemical cleaning stuff too.And strong smells like purfume - they "hurt" me. Noise is a big problem - that "hurts" me also. Dogs are not liked by everyone but my own are a huge and beneficial part of my life. They love me unconditionally for a start and I'm yet to find a human able to do that. They provide me with a "no excuses" reason to get out into the big scary world every day - without them I could quite easily be housebound. They work with and for me, as sheepdogs, I wouldn't be much of a shepherd without them. They are so tuned into my mental health it is spooky - observation of their behaviour is a big indicator of how I am. I find them so much healthier to have in the house than humans and a whole lot more sociable too! I do not treat them as humans  simply because they are not - they are dogs and I have learned a lot from them, not least their gift of acceptance which is something I wish more people had...

Wow Paull! You must be my shadow, for I can relate to all  of this, apart from the bit about fat people, although I do get annoyed about similar things.

I am a hygiene obsessive, to the point of OCD. If I touch a flannel in the kitchen, I rinse my hands for ages under hot soapy water, to get rid of any bacteria that the sponge might be harbouring. I also have to wash my hands after unplugging the sink. I can't touch raw meat, either.

My mum is the only person, other than myself, who can prepare my food, and I always make sure she washes her hands and washes the vegetables. I have to rinse vegetable in hot water, particularly salad ingredients.

If someone has a cough or sneezes, I have to excuse myself, and I feel really anxious until I am out of the situation. Then I worry that I might catch their disease. Some people are disgusting with their hygiene: they don't put their hand over their mouth when they cough/sneeze, for example.

I can only eat at cafes that that a 5 hygiene rating (the highest level), and I tend to eat at one cafe that I know is hygienic - if the toilets are clean, the kitchen is usually clean!.

Noise: why are people so loud? You get drunken students shouting out obscenities near my flat, a neighbour who thinks it is acceptable to play loud music at 6am, noisy car engines and honking horns...

Language: Some words irritate me a lot, particularly if they are repeated. I hate the word 'bless', for example. Some people use it all the time, even after talking about something that is far from sweet or cute. When I was talking about violent prisoners, for example, this person said 'bless them'!. I am a language pedant, and hate slippery, vacuous speech. I also hate sentimentality and sugar coating. Some accents irritate me, too.

Smells: cigarette smoke, hand cream, clinical smells, strong perfume, makes me feel very tense.

I have strong morals, too.

Regarding the bit about fat people: I do, however, get annoyed when people stuff their mouths all day with snacks - the grazing culture. I can only eat when I am sat down at a table - 3 square meals a day. While I don't begrudge people an occasional snack, it is the constant eating while walking or on the bus thing that irritates me, mainly because the sound of people eating, and the smell, really annoys me.

Hi Paull,

I have noise sensitives, loud bangs, white noise, general overload.

Hygience, I am probably the opposite with personal hygience, I am clean but not dirty. I do the old rinse the cup and teaspoon with boiling water act. But I hate chemical cleaning sprays and air freshers,,, I believe having a biobacterial world in your environment is good for your health long-term, like gardening so dirt is my friend. Bugs and germs have to live it is there world also. I hope I make good compost one day.

The cat/dog thing does effect me also, especially as people treat them like humans. But this is normal to members of my familiy who have a cat and a dog. The animals are all right, but I would feel more comfortable with them outside in the garden.

Ethics,, don't go there  it is like world is wired to another set of rules, whilst saying these are the rules you must follow, so my ethics are probably rigid thinking due to my autism mindset. I wish, I could park on double yellow lines, play loud music in home, fight, scream and shout without regard to others, a selfish life seems to be rewarded in our society.

Overthinking as well, modelling behaviours and frameworks , theories on everything, correlating a single muse on a million angles, good for an analyst job, but hellish for day to day communication. As my doctors says, MIND GAIN brings PAIN.

The fat thing is a judgemental thing for you, but probably more to do with logic and rational not offence judgement. I have the same with people who smoke, take drugs, drink alcohol, watch crowd sports,, it actually scares me,, mass behaviours.. of others. But I am just scared of the humanrace, especially groups or gangs, be it on the street corner or a political willed boardroom. Individually, I really like peer to peer relationship, the true open person.

I love foreign languages, they are at a slower mind pace for me when speaking. I seem to collect foriegn friends, I have asked them why this is so,, they say I have more open higher intelligence so I am really interested in cultures. They say the common british person culturally dumb but there is vein in britain which is not so. I love the french accent, german is nice on ear and jewish accent is cool. It is a shame that I can not travel, I find the british normally to be coof, locked into an isolation mindset of egotistical culture in lieu of an actual cultural per say which is based on gimicks.

Good post Paull, made me reflect , outwith your negative bias thoughts what are your positive likes.