Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.
e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.
Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.
I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first.
I hope this has been helpful
Yeah, it might be helpful to some, but the only worry is that if you ask someone, they might actually tell you! And then you're stuck trying to put on an interested face and ask follow-up questions.
that's meee, I like sitting in silence or doing practical things w people, but chit chat is the worrstttt. hate making stuff up. unless the person I'm talking to is very dedicated to carrying the convo and doesn't mind my awkwardness.
or unless I'm genuinely interested in that person (sounds rude but )
yes, I say, be sure if you want to hear an answer before you ask a question, My colleagues often make that ''mistake''
It's just part of conversation, I've decided. If I want to get on with people, I have to put up with it.
Yep! What I don't understand is, I've read several times that people on the spectrum take the "how are you" question literally. However, I answer with a "yeah alright, you?" . I do find, people who I would assume not to be autistic, in fact take it literally and think it's an invitation to go on about themselves.