Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.
e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.
Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.
I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first.
I hope this has been helpful
Yeah, it might be helpful to some, but the only worry is that if you ask someone, they might actually tell you! And then you're stuck trying to put on an interested face and ask follow-up questions.
Yep! What I don't understand is, I've read several times that people on the spectrum take the "how are you" question literally. However, I answer with a "yeah alright, you?" . I do find, people who I would assume not to be autistic, in fact take it literally and think it's an invitation to go on about themselves.
Yes, me too but it's just the way things are. Most people prefer small talk so if I remember to do that first, THEN I can get to the actual business talk.
Yes, it definitely is what most people do, but I hate it hah
I think a lot of the time it's just part of a general greeting. I teach my EFL students "hi how are you? / I'm fine thanks, and you?" . I think this generally what most people do.
I would much prefer to skip small talk all together, however if I make the effort to ask how someone is, it means I genuinely want an answer. I hate it when people just reply with something vague.
If I don't want to know, I wouldn't ask, you know?