Still Here

Cheers! 

sorry to hear about the cancer, but glad you're getting some results from chemo. i'm not heavily into tanks, but i do like them. i saw a tank museum near portola valley or san mateo, the military vehicle technology foundation. i imagine you may have heard of it. it has since been dismantled - i mainly wanted to see the panzers. 

happy birthday.......!

I've developed a system to cope with the side effects - I can cope as long as it stays about the same.

Tanks are cool - I enjoy Bovingdon museum when we're down that way.

A couple of years ago, I asked if I could ride in a train cab - I ended up driving a train load of unsuspecting commuters into Central London.   

Your pre-birthday sounds very tasty!

Love the presents you got. I especially do love a game of Kerpluck - I once bought an olde fashioned one from eBay and though the sticks were a little bent, I loved it. It's like pick up sticks but with bonus marbles!

Yes, oncologists are pretty good at being blunt.  Chemo side effects sure do take their toll - I guess every day is another day of keeping on going.

Good on you for thinking of giving a go at driving a bus. There is a place not too far away from us, where you can go along and drive a tank. That's more my thing. Driving a bus and my visuospatial problems would not be the best idea, whereas a tank - it just doesn't matter!

He's renowned for his bed-side manner. 

Glad to hear it's working, your oncologist sounds charming.

Hiya

I definitely won't be here in 2 years - this cancer is always fatal and the chemo is the limiting factor - when my body gives up. I will die.   I will fight to the end.

While not trying to 'big myself up', I have burned the candle at both ends.     I identify strongly with Roy Batty.     "I have done things you people would not believe!"

I feel very, very cheated of the life I have worked so hard to create.    I've said before, I was months away from 'Life 2.0' and it's all been snatched away.

I spent most of my life oblivious to how very different I was to everyone else - blindly performing technical miracles 'for the greater good' without any recognition - while actually being used and manipulated by those benefiting from my achievements.

I remember every detail of my life - like looking at a huge array of photos.- It's frustrating to not be able to share the highlights and extremes with everyone..    

What do you think of your life, as you look back on it? Of course you may be here for another 20 years so it may be too early, but I wondered about your opinion.

Thanks  

Thanks - Yes - it was on my birthday - and it could have been good, bad or very, very bad news so we had my 'pre-birthday instead - we had some nice steaks and desserts the day before and we did presents in the morning - I got Buckaroo and Ker-Plunk and Wii Sports Resort along with some airfix models so the composite day was amazing.

I've asked the oncologist to be as blunt and honest as possible with me - I need solid data to work out what to do - having everything being so vague means I can't plan - so I just have to accept that some of the things he will say will sound so cold.

The limiting factor will be the side effects of the chemo - how much I can take and still want to go forwards.     There will come a time when either my body or mind says it's too much.

I'm still adding to my bucket list - the latest thing I've thought of is I want to drive a bus.  

I hope that you see 2022 and beyond.  I am sure that many people on this forum enjoy your good quality posts.

Hi. Thanks for posting - was wondering when you were going to get seen. Is it also your birthday?

Nice. Oncologists!

Great news about the chemo working!