2am. Just woke up again and can't sleep.

When I am sleeping it's just nightmares.  I've just woken up from one.

So I'll just blog about my days.

My days are busy,  but I can't find a paid job to pay the rent. 

I get referred from one advisor to another.  My mental health employment advisor has now referred me to scope, the scope advisor has recommended more training and courses to fill my skills gap.

In the last few weeks I've done week long courses on:

  1. Introduction to customer care. 
  2. Customer care plus.
  3. Introduction to business administration. 
  4. Introduction to retail. 

One day courses on:

  1. Managing personal finance.
  2. Health and safety. 
  3. Equality and diversity 
  4. Healthy living.

Now I'm taking the functional English course, trying to get up to an acceptable level 2 in English. The formal grammar and jargon is gobbledegook to me.

Tomorrow I also have an interview for more unpaid volunteering work, greeting people arriving in hospitals.

What a life. I wish I was born an eccentric millionaire. 

  • Good Fortune Sir, I shall try to be succinct, with this Post.

    I appreciate Posts about "enforced courses" since they show Me how very many different manners in which a Person can be caught out or put into a trap. I still stand by what I said at first and to try to press it... and also here what I replied to "ItsMyMind".

    But this...

    'what do you understand by equality and diversity? ' and 'how would do ensure equality and diversity in our organisation? '

    It sounds as if they were sort of fishing for specific answers, and if the correct answer is given, then One is accepted, otherwise, 'ooh, no maybe not, not sure of *that* person!'... I have had this as well happen to Myself, so I TOTALLY understand it! I hope it helps to know that You are not alone in this Multiple-pathway-Quandary (including Age) as well, Sir...

    I would maybe not be forced that way Myself, since I am clearly  "an ethnic minority" (*ahem*)... but if I were Your Good Self,  I would have explained exactly as You wrote there (explained the history of One's own Family). Then I would have added that I did not know about how their "Organisation" yet would "try to do the best that I can." (i.e. flatter them. (!))

    ...The thing is, a lot of Companies think that They 'are the only ones in existence'... I am not joking, there. They expect People to have known their Own entire history, before applying for a Job there... They have no concept of Money, or Unemployment... only their own Company. This is what I have found out, and is another thing which is not fair.

    I shall finish by saying that I completely understand Your "bluffing" there now. And I STILL mean absolutely everything which I have so far said upon this Thread. (Plus look into what "ItsMyMind" said below, about an "Agency". And I did say to get an official diagnosis, which does open up certain areas of good support.)

  • To clarify a few matters.

    The equality and diversity interview questions, were along the lines of:

    'what do you understand by equality and diversity? ' and 'how would do ensure equality and diversity in our organisation? '

    I thought on my feet and tried to bluff.

    The English problem is a long term issue.  I am white and I was born in the UK.  But my father was a wartime refugee arriving in 1942.  My mother was a not quite legal immigrant who arrived in 1957.  And I only started to learn spoken English at the age of five.  Then, I missed weeks and months of school at a time.

  • I also need the English qualification for teaching maths.

    ...Hi, Me again. I wrote a longer reply to "ItsMyMind", below. Also, to reply, My (uninformed?) opinion, including asking You about any "Equality / Diversity" business... Maybe, as an "ethnic minority" Myself, I might get this less blasted at Me (!)... but I would just press forwards, as I said, with emphasising the SKILLS. I know that life here is not fair, I honestly cannot emphasise how good at what I said You are that You are, Mr.Robert123...

    I guess that there once was a time when skills spoke for themselves, but now it seems to depend upon Luck and Money. Of course I cannot advise about that! I can only support You.

    To close for now, I would just say not to "bluff" through anything and just be honest all of the time, except in feeling threatened/in self-defence. It helps with the memory not to bluff or to lie, and pathways present themselves clearer. But it might still not be easy or fair. (Once I get too negative, I tend to leave off from Posting --- But again I say that I really meant what I said!)

    Just recognise any limits and push through them, or push harder to get others to recognise them to gain correct support... I do not know what else to say apart from that.

  • Greetings, this might be long, but...

    I’m not usually in the random topics section but popped in and saw this.

    ...Pretty much the topics aspect in this forum is not always paid attention to, so I would say to not pay attention to that. E.G. Parents with Children... they are *everywhere*...

    If you are going insane with the banal courses you are being put forward for maybe consider asking the agency which is helping you to focus their efforts on getting you a decent apprenticeship...

    ...This sounds like good advice. I really mean that. The thing is... not everyone has an "agency", You probably know that, though. I identify with Mr Robert in the "having 'fantastic amazing skill(s)' but no *recent* qualifications, also and being 'old' (i.e. NOT aged under 30!)... and the thing of gaining a qualification only to have it outdated less than a week after". I have found that it is "who you know not what you know" that is the thing in this reality...

    There are a lot of traps and pits, yet there are boosts and hills in life... it is not fair and I do not like it... so Thank You for Your advice, here. Please take Money into account as well. Again I say that I totally meant everything which I said earlier in this Thread. (I write this for Mr.Robert123 to see it as well.) I wait to see how this Thread progresses. Thank You, "ItsMyMind" in any case.

  • Hmmm. Thanks Desmond79. Will check this out :-) 

  • Is that Belfast?

    It looks like the view from the train close to Lanyon Place Central Station.

  • There's also SleepWithMe by Dearest Scooter from Nashville;

    www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/

  • Just a thought. Have you ever tried Sleep/Relax/Happiness/ASMR videos/sounds on YouTube???

    There are a tonne of them. I could not survive without binaural/isochronic tracks at work for focus and I have other tracks I use to bring me down if I need to calm/switch off/go to sleep especially if I wake up in the night.

    I am also a podcast addict, listening on Stitcher. I am often asleep within seconds of tuning back in to a gory true crime podcast after random wake-ups in the night. Podcasts are a whole new world for me to escape and get lost in.

  • I always studied Art and English but stumbled into being an Information Analyst for the NHS many years ago. I had a degree but went in at entry level. I fell in love (seriously) with Excel; Access was my bit on the side. I never knew that the logic of each would speak to me in the way that they did.

    I hope you find what works for you :)

  • Hi

    I’m not usually in the random topics section but popped in and saw this.

    Quick thoughts: have you ever considered an apprenticeship as a way into work? They are not like they used to be in the 70s/80s (I’m in my 40s).

    You can go in at different levels right up to Masters equivalent so give them a proper look. Government agencies such as the NHS will do them but also private companies. If you have an interest in photography maybe your local newspaper would consider a photographer apprenticeship???

    If you are going insane with the banal courses you are being put forward for maybe consider asking the agency which is helping you to focus their efforts on getting you a decent apprenticeship...

    I am useless at photography. You obviously have a passion and a real talent: make it work for you.

    Best wishes 

  • For reasons of anonymity and confidentiality,  I decided to delete two of the photos.

    Some of these courses are very useful, such as the equality and.diversity one.  This year I had two interviews where they asked equality question.  I tried to bluff my way through.  Now, I realise,  how and why I failed.  Now, I understand the equality act of 2010, the protected characteristics and in the way they are applied legally in society.

    I also need the English qualification for teaching maths.

  • ...Sorry about this, anyone reading. I have to sign off, now. ("Personal reasons".) I really meant what I said in My first two Posts there, though. Please try to be nice here, Goodnight.

  • ...Hey! As I was typing, there were 3 pictures, now only one? What happened?

  • *...* ...Um, Yes as usual, this is ferlipping EXCELLENT Photography! But I am going to say somethings which might get Me voted down a bit, maybe... It seems clear that You were poised to post/discuss this... but I am not primarily interested in that sort of thing - courses which do not help Myself, that is.

    That these Photographs are so very brilliant, I wonder if, if You showed them to the people actually in the building, they would say:"ooh these are good photographs! Can We use them, please? To promote our Course/Building/Area?"

    ...Like I said, this is maybe a bad thing; but I have had this happen to Myself - Drawing, not Photography, though. They say: "Ooh this is a great drawing, can We use it in out promotions, please??" ...And I said "Yes" but gained nothing after that. This is why I said what I said in My first two Posts...

    YOU ARE A BRILLIANT PHOTOGRAPHER, Sir! To ensure ongoing wellbeing and security... please pursue that talent (& Maths) and cash and Security! Ask for contents to put into a portfolio and present that as Your main Skill!

  • And on the non rainy days I do a bit of photography around the area.

  • ...Umm... Yes, Thank You Kindly, and "Nice to hear from You" is certainly reciprocated. Continuity is a thing important to My own life, certainly. Not sure what else to say, there, apologies (!), since I meant what I said with My previous Posts. Really, very very much. I guess that I shall see how this Thread goes, then, Y'know... 

    I really meant what I said with My previous Posts, though. Seriously. Good Fortune, again.

  • It's nice to hear from you.

    I actually have two jobs at the moment,  both are casual on a zero hour contract, on a as required basis.  I am an exam invigilator in both a school and a university.

    The jobs I am applying for this week are:

    1. Bus service analyst
    2. Bus network planner
    3. Database administrator 
    4. Project assistant
    5. Customer service assistant.

    My Maths is excellent but my English is dodgy, I never passed my English language O level.  The highest grade I got at school was a 'D'.

    One of my employment advisors told me to use my common sense and just say that I passed.  Because nobody will check or ask to see a certificate. 

    So now I'm taking a part time English course.  It's quite enjoyable and the place is more tolerable than the schools I attended.  We have a nutty secretary /administrator,  who livens up the place, she told me that she suffers from ADHD. 

    To break the training monotony she comes into the training room and announces, 'would you like to play a game?'  games include: Hangman, the alphabet game, speed dating and quizzes. 

  • You are quite the writer, it's fun to read your comments, 

    I also have bad dreams but I like them it's refreshing plus sometime I feel exercised afterwards. 

    How often do you dream? 

  •  ...P.S. I also have Bad Dreams most Nights. I wake at 5AM and cannot sleep again until about 8AM. Upon previous Threads I suggested not watching "bad" films, but maybe this only works a little for Myself. 

    ...P.P.S. (!) - I just recalled something else: I might be wrong, however, are You not one of those upon this Forum who has not gained an Official Diagnosis of Aspergers/Autism? Please mention this and try for this, it would help You a lot, really.