I love malapropisms: similar-sounding but incorrect words, which sometimes have a humorous effect.
Here are a couple of recent ones:
Have you seen any funny word stuff? If so, do share!
I love anything like this. I can think of a few pacific (!) ones...
Stationary Shop (you mean one that doesn't move?)
Complimentary gifts (gifts that tell you how nice your hair looks)
I saw some graffiti on a wall once saying 'Skinheads are basted' - to which someone had added 'Yes... but much nicer sauted'.
Incidentally... today (if you leave off the first zero) is a palindromic date: 81118
There's a joke about a little boy saying to his mum 'Don't ever take me to Thames Station.' His mum asks why not. He says 'Because in the Lord's Prayer, it says 'lead us not into Thames Station.'
Then there's the old Dave Allen one. He says when he was a kid, he was at a funeral for an uncle or someone. And he felt sure, as they stood by the graveside, that the minister said 'In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and into the hole he goes.'
I had some cod for dinner once, and it was horrible. It was the piece of cod which passeth understanding.
Sunflower said:Emotion Paint (Emulsion Paint) for sale on Marketplace
Might be quite nice for a sensory room!
Yes, hadn't thought of that!
These are great!
I loved the bit in Good Girl where the shop assistant says "F*** you" instead of "Thank you" to the customer.
Loving your 'pacific' examples!
So glad I know about today's date before it is over - being off work I hardly know which day of the week it is, let alone the date.
Then, course, there's that famous Spoonerism, when James Naughtie on the Today programme introduced 'Jeremy Hunt, the Culture Secretary' - except he got the 'C' and the 'H' the wrong way around...
Someone else did it, too, a little later. Seems it was perhaps more of a Freudian slip. Or, as a colleague of mine at work years ago used to say 'A fraudulent slip.'
Oh that's so perfect!
The eccentric landlady of a shared house I once lived in told me her husband was 'impudent' (impotent)!
Does that mean they never had sectional intercourse? (nicked that from Spike Milligan in 'Adolf Hitler, My Part In His Downfall')