Struggling to support partner

SSRIs are usually prescribed, but can often cause various side effects such as nausea, headaches, dry mouth and diarrhoea. There is another type of medicine for anxiety & depression called mirtazapine - it can cause sleepiness, but it does help people who have trouble sleeping too. A doctor can prescribe the lowest dose initially, to see how the patient reacts, then increase it if necessary, I find CBT capsules, which are available without prescription, can help me if I'm anxious but they don't help everyone. It's best to ask his doctor what they would recommend.

You also need to look after your own mental health. If he has a meltdown in the same room as you, remove yourself to another room and give him time to calm down. If you feel depressed or anxious, talk to your doctor and think about trying therapy if you think it might help and you can afford it (I believe counselling on the NHS is currently either non existent or has an extremely long waiting list) Or talk to a trusted friend, or post on here and we'll do our best to support you.

I imagine that your partner needs to release his stress, and the home is the only place to do so, but he doesn't want to be around people when that's happening, and needs personal space to release pent up stress. I'm sure he doesn't want to involve you in all that, so I hope you could find somewhere safe to be in, or go to, when he's having a meltdown. 

It's definitely a disheartening situation. Medications may help, I've been on an antidepressant for a short time, to help with anxiety, but I decided it was not right for me. I hope you find something that helps your partner. 

NAS79234 said:

Thank you, much appreciated :) 

You're most welcome!

NAS79234 said:

he has tried a few but a lot made him feel exhausted. Do you know any with not too many side effects?

We're not allowed to give medical advice here (rule 13), which is why I didn't recommend any specific antidepressants or other medications in my previous replies.

But if your partner is currently without medications - or doesn't feel that any current medications are helping enough, or feels that he's experiencing issues with side-effects - then I'd definitely recommend that he talks to his GP again, to explore other options. 

If appropriate (eg if they've already tried everything within their armoury), they may also refer him to secondary care, who - in my area, for example - have additional prescribing options.

Medication efficacy and side effects can vary hugely from person to person, so it's really best to rely on professional advice rather than anecdotal feedback (which is what I'd say even if it wasn't a rule here).

No problem 

Thank you :)

Yeh I am on fluoxetine it’s quite good. I heard about an antidepressant recently which can treat severe anxiety and major depressive disorders- it’s called tianeptine. 

Thank you, much appreciated :) 

Thank you, he has tried a few but a lot made him feel exhausted. Do you know any with not too many side effects? 

Yellow tree 118 said:

I also knew a guy with autism who would slap himself across the face if he did something he believed to be wrong. How do we explain this behaviour?

The "self-injurious behaviour" link that I posted earlier in this thread refers.

I also knew a guy with autism who would slap himself across the face if he did something he believed to be wrong. How do we explain this behaviour? I think it’s a low self esteem/confidence thing tbh.

Part 2 of 2

Apologies for splitting my reply, but including too many links within a single post can incur the wrath of the automatic spam filters! :)

Although your partner doesn't yet have a diagnosis, his employer still has duty under law to provide reasonable adjustments for him. This article explains more and provides several links to further sources of information:

NAS - Support at work - a guide for autistic people

In respect of improving understanding and communication between you - including helping you to decide whether there is a viable future for your relationship - you might (both) find this book helpful, perhaps alongside therapy or counselling either individually or as a couple:

Amazon - Loving Someone with Aspeger'ss Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

Antidepressants might help. SSRIs are good. Help with depression and anxiety. They’re the only ones I know can help meltdowns. 

Hi and welcome to the community.

Part 1 of 2:

I'm so sorry to hear of your and your partner's struggles.

Unfortunately, there is no medication for reducing meltdowns (just as there are no medications for autism itself). Meltdowns happen when we become completely overwhelmed. The NAS has helpful information about them here, including advice on anticipating and preventing them, identifying causes, minimising triggers and more. 

NAS - Meltdowns

There's also a separate article about self-injurious behaviour, which you might also find helpful. This includes such things as banging one's head against a wall:

NAS - Self-injurious behaviour

As a result of our difficulties, many autistic people struggle with mental health issues. In this area, your partner's GP may be able to offer support in the way of - for example - medication (eg anti-depressants) and/or therapy or counselling. Again, there's a great article about that here:

NAS - Depression