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Struggling to support partner

NAS79234

Hello, 

I have been with my partner for 10 years now and he is currently waiting for an autism diagnosis.

Throughout our relationship he has really struggled in work and often asked to leave but no explanation as to why (mainly agency work). I love him dearly but I feel I am walking constantly on egg shells, yesterday he came home and had a meltdown after being told he has to have his timesheet signed by the manager at the end of his shift. I tried to be calm and let him have his space but he came upstairs to where I was and threw a cup across the room and continously banged his head against the wall saying he can't be around people.

I feel at a loss how to help him, he told his employers he may possibly have autism and I have encouraged him to join this forum but he's not interested. As I said I love him very much but it is now affecting my mental health. Does anyone know if there are medications to reduce the meltdowns? I'm in a dilemma whether I can carry on this relationship, but he tells me if I ask him to leave he will end it all. He has no other family, friends or anywhere to live. 

Sorry for the rant but if anyone has been in a similar situation I would appreciate some advice. 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    Part 1 of 2:

    I'm so sorry to hear of your and your partner's struggles.

    Unfortunately, there is no medication for reducing meltdowns (just as there are no medications for autism itself). Meltdowns happen when we become completely overwhelmed. The NAS has helpful information about them here, including advice on anticipating and preventing them, identifying causes, minimising triggers and more. 

    NAS - Meltdowns

    There's also a separate article about self-injurious behaviour, which you might also find helpful. This includes such things as banging one's head against a wall:

    NAS - Self-injurious behaviour

    As a result of our difficulties, many autistic people struggle with mental health issues. In this area, your partner's GP may be able to offer support in the way of - for example - medication (eg anti-depressants) and/or therapy or counselling. Again, there's a great article about that here:

    NAS - Depression

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    Part 1 of 2:

    I'm so sorry to hear of your and your partner's struggles.

    Unfortunately, there is no medication for reducing meltdowns (just as there are no medications for autism itself). Meltdowns happen when we become completely overwhelmed. The NAS has helpful information about them here, including advice on anticipating and preventing them, identifying causes, minimising triggers and more. 

    NAS - Meltdowns

    There's also a separate article about self-injurious behaviour, which you might also find helpful. This includes such things as banging one's head against a wall:

    NAS - Self-injurious behaviour

    As a result of our difficulties, many autistic people struggle with mental health issues. In this area, your partner's GP may be able to offer support in the way of - for example - medication (eg anti-depressants) and/or therapy or counselling. Again, there's a great article about that here:

    NAS - Depression

Children
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