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Struggling to support partner

NAS79234

Hello, 

I have been with my partner for 10 years now and he is currently waiting for an autism diagnosis.

Throughout our relationship he has really struggled in work and often asked to leave but no explanation as to why (mainly agency work). I love him dearly but I feel I am walking constantly on egg shells, yesterday he came home and had a meltdown after being told he has to have his timesheet signed by the manager at the end of his shift. I tried to be calm and let him have his space but he came upstairs to where I was and threw a cup across the room and continously banged his head against the wall saying he can't be around people.

I feel at a loss how to help him, he told his employers he may possibly have autism and I have encouraged him to join this forum but he's not interested. As I said I love him very much but it is now affecting my mental health. Does anyone know if there are medications to reduce the meltdowns? I'm in a dilemma whether I can carry on this relationship, but he tells me if I ask him to leave he will end it all. He has no other family, friends or anywhere to live. 

Sorry for the rant but if anyone has been in a similar situation I would appreciate some advice. 

Parents

  • SSRIs are usually prescribed, but can often cause various side effects such as nausea, headaches, dry mouth and diarrhoea. There is another type of medicine for anxiety & depression called mirtazapine - it can cause sleepiness, but it does help people who have trouble sleeping too. A doctor can prescribe the lowest dose initially, to see how the patient reacts, then increase it if necessary, I find CBT capsules, which are available without prescription, can help me if I'm anxious but they don't help everyone. It's best to ask his doctor what they would recommend.

    You also need to look after your own mental health. If he has a meltdown in the same room as you, remove yourself to another room and give him time to calm down. If you feel depressed or anxious, talk to your doctor and think about trying therapy if you think it might help and you can afford it (I believe counselling on the NHS is currently either non existent or has an extremely long waiting list) Or talk to a trusted friend, or post on here and we'll do our best to support you.

Reply

  • SSRIs are usually prescribed, but can often cause various side effects such as nausea, headaches, dry mouth and diarrhoea. There is another type of medicine for anxiety & depression called mirtazapine - it can cause sleepiness, but it does help people who have trouble sleeping too. A doctor can prescribe the lowest dose initially, to see how the patient reacts, then increase it if necessary, I find CBT capsules, which are available without prescription, can help me if I'm anxious but they don't help everyone. It's best to ask his doctor what they would recommend.

    You also need to look after your own mental health. If he has a meltdown in the same room as you, remove yourself to another room and give him time to calm down. If you feel depressed or anxious, talk to your doctor and think about trying therapy if you think it might help and you can afford it (I believe counselling on the NHS is currently either non existent or has an extremely long waiting list) Or talk to a trusted friend, or post on here and we'll do our best to support you.

Children
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