Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I have been with my partner for 10 years now and he is currently waiting for an autism diagnosis.
Throughout our relationship he has really struggled in work and often asked to leave but no explanation as to why (mainly agency work). I love him dearly but I feel I am walking constantly on egg shells, yesterday he came home and had a meltdown after being told he has to have his timesheet signed by the manager at the end of his shift. I tried to be calm and let him have his space but he came upstairs to where I was and threw a cup across the room and continously banged his head against the wall saying he can't be around people.
I feel at a loss how to help him, he told his employers he may possibly have autism and I have encouraged him to join this forum but he's not interested. As I said I love him very much but it is now affecting my mental health. Does anyone know if there are medications to reduce the meltdowns? I'm in a dilemma whether I can carry on this relationship, but he tells me if I ask him to leave he will end it all. He has no other family, friends or anywhere to live.
Sorry for the rant but if anyone has been in a similar situation I would appreciate some advice.
Part 2 of 2
Apologies for splitting my reply, but including too many links within a single post can incur the wrath of the automatic spam filters! :)
Although your partner doesn't yet have a diagnosis, his employer still has duty under law to provide reasonable adjustments for him. This article explains more and provides several links to further sources of information:
NAS - Support at work - a guide for autistic people
In respect of improving understanding and communication between you - including helping you to decide whether there is a viable future for your relationship - you might (both) find this book helpful, perhaps alongside therapy or counselling either individually or as a couple:
Amazon - Loving Someone with Aspeger'ss Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner
Thank you, much appreciated :)