Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with autism (ASD) 3 years ago after struggling with my mental health for over 30 years. It took over five and a half years to get this, as the CMHT did not tell me that I could be diagnosed without any knowledge of my mother's pregnancy or my first five years of life.
Now, I am being honest: I don't have much faith in the NHS as a whole, which stems from how different departments treated me and CMHT lying in letters to my GP and on my medical file. I also had many difficulties trusting the CMHT, as they never seem to believe anything I say.
Last week, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist and a clinical lead from the local CMHT. Straight away, the psychiatrist started blaming my mental health problems on autism, and the CMHT can not provide care for autistic people. They told me that I have to go to a local autism charity for help with autism, and once I have help with that, then they can look into if I need mental health help. The autism charity can not provide help for mental health, so if they (who are not qualified in mental health) think I need help, then I would have to be referred back to the CMHT.
The day after this appointment, I had a complete meltdown and smashed my computer and several other things. Unfortunately, I live alone, so I have no one witnessing these meltdowns. While in a meltdown, I cannot think of anything else but to get the frustration out, and all the information I have read to stop the meltdown is not in my head at that time. Afterwards, I go to bed and stay there for days, but I still get angry and upset because of the meltdown.
Does anyone else have this problem? I think it is an absolute shambles that is putting people's lives at risk and delaying the help that people desperately need.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can stop during a meltdown? Bearing in mind I am on my own and I have read the neurodivergent mindfulness booklet.
Thanks for reading.
So sorry to hear of your experience, I completely understand. The CMHT team turned down my GP's request for a psychiatrist twice because of my autism and I suspect my experience will be similar to yours when I do finally see one.
Your mental health is low, yet the CMHT passes that responsibility of helping you to the autism charity, and the autism charity says no, they can't do anything for you, and that's the responsibility of the CMHT to help with your mental health, and it just goes in circles. You realize no one in these organizations are going to ultimately help you when you need it the most, and that is both frustrating and discouraging at the same time, and you lose trust in them both.
I've got into nonsensical "circles" like this a few times before, for situations that are different from yours. So I would suggest to tell the CMHT that you took their advice, and talked to the local autism charity about getting help for mental health, but they are not qualified in mental health, and they referred you back to the CMHT. And then say that you still need help with mental health, and wondering what services they could provide for you.
If you can't remember the ND mindfulness booklet, have some of the steps posted up on a wall, so that when you are frustrated, you can try to look at and follow the steps to calm yourself down. But you could also channel your anger into doing something more productive, like exercise, since exercise has physical movements that are repetitive, which can help get the stress out and and lower cortisol levels, and repetitive movements can be calming.
Also, while reading about your meltdowns, it reminds me of the fight-or-flight response, where the prefrontal cortex gets shut down, so that you can reaction to whatever threat is in front of you. Because in a dangerous situation where there is an immediate threat, there is no time to think, only time to act, and your body goes into that state. High stress or anxious situations can trigger it too. That's why many students can't remember information during a test or exam. I also think that intense anger can trigger the brain to go into blind rage, in which you will just blank out in a fit of rage, and that can be dangerous for the people around you. I wonder if anger management classes could help with that or not.
But I hope you receive the help you're looking for.
It was the front part of the mouse, which is narrow, it effectively stopped the mouse from working. I have a list on a file in the computer of passwords, but they are disguised in a way that only I would recognise.
Thanks, but I had to try and see if I could get the computer mouse in my mouth. LOL. You make a good point about computers. Maybe technology triggers some people. For me, it's when I know I put the correct password in and it still doesn't accept it. Then you reset the password, and the blooming thing tells you that you can't use a previous password. Now I have a book with passwords in alphabetical order.
I once bit through a computer mouse in meltdown and smashed a laptop screen on another occasion. Is there something about autistic interactions with computers that tends to trigger meltdowns?
Thank you for the reply. I thought I was the only one that smashed things. The cost of the meltdowns has been rising in the past two years. Firstly, there are plates and bowls, computer keyboards, sweeping brushes, etc. But I have also smashed a plug-in standing dehumidifier (don't ask me how I smashed it, as I don't know), a phone and now a laptop. I am lucky as I am good with money (I am not saying you are not), so I have money or put it on a credit card and have it paid off in a few months.
As for trying self-soothing methods, what you mentioned has never worked for me, and I tend to go to bed and stay there. I enjoy jigsaws and colouring, but I need to be in the mood for these, and I had been doing a jigsaw for a few weeks before last week's meltdown, so that hadn't distracted me. Also, it would take me less than a week to do a jigsaw, and it has been about four weeks, and I am only halfway through it. I feel I no longer know what I like or who I am.
Hi Raspberries, so I can kind of relate…i hate being put on hold, I was in a very dark place, burnout, whatever you wanna call it, and I ended up smashing my phone against the floor, which completely destroyed it, and I’m still paying for it until 2025 lol I then got another phone which I still haven’t paid for and I’m pretty much burning out again atm, so hopefully I won’t smash this one!
What is having to do atm, is endulging in as many self soothing things that I can do. Hot baths, incense sticks, crap loads of tea, candles etc, anything that’s just gonna soothe how I’m feeling. Is that something you could do? Just to try and block out as many stressors as possible?
I understand about the frustration of being told it’s Autism as opposed to mental health, but I’ve also had the opposite too which is just as frustrating. My current diagnoses are Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but very often what I think is mental health issues I get told it’s down to Autism!
I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you, or at least reduces the way you feel when you’re in those states.
Thank you for the reply; I have read that article, and it hasn't helped. The one thing I know is NHS appointments are one trigger, but I don't know the rest. As I live on my own and the meltdown comes out of the blue and by the time I have recovered, I can't remember what happened beforehand, I am trying to work out how to deal with things. I don't have family or friends or no NHS/community support.
Dear Raspberries,
Thank you for sharing this with our community. While we are waiting for the community to respond, you may be interested in reading our pages about meltdowns, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns
Thank you. I hope this helps!
Best regards,
Eunice Mod